


second chance

by witchesdelite



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Bondage, Bottom Thorin, Cock Rings, Cutting, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Erections, Explicit Language, Family, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Love Bites, Love at First Sight, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, P - Freeform, Prison, Rimming, Sex Toys, Suicide Attempt, Suicide thoughts, Tattoos, True Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-01-17 20:02:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 74
Words: 88,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1400677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchesdelite/pseuds/witchesdelite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thought I would try a modern au it's about kili and thorin au kili spent 2 years in prison ten years later and his past still haunts him I'm you enjoy this you can follow on Tumblr http://www.tumblr.com/blog/witchesdelite25</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kili

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Taurnil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taurnil/gifts), [Draconizuka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draconizuka/gifts), [SilverFountains](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverFountains/gifts).



 

 

 _why does no one come to this place!_ I think but let out a huge sigh, and look around the dark, dingy cafe _you can hardly blame them why would you drink and eat here when there is a starbucks around the corner!_ the old coffee shop was wallpapered in pastel green that was stained in places and peeling off the wall, along with a few horrid painting’s of flowers and sunsets _They need scrapping!_ I think for the sixth time today _._

My eye’s then move to the carpet that once was sandy but now was stained a murky brown with the darker stains that had artificial flowers of a purple colour placed over to try and disguise the state of the worn carpet _jesus when was these decorations fashionable, if ever!._

I look back to my book and start to lose my self in the world of the napoleonic wars. The bell rings announcing a customer, I look up to serve them then hesitate _no let her get of her lazy backside!_ I think and flick the page.

I can feel Tracy’s eyes bore into me “ Weirdo Customer” she says with an annoyed tone to her voice, I feel frustration gush through my body _she Is nineteen for god sake I am Thirty why the hell do I let her do this?_ I sigh and put down my book knowing if I don’t do as she says I will be in shit with my boss, for ignoring his daughter.

I plaster a fake smile on my face before I even look up “ Hello welcome to B...Bilbo’s kitchen” I sigh then feel my heart pound against my chest as I look into the grey-blue eyes of a tall middle aged man, my eyes scanned his appearance, He had long black hair tied in a neat ponytail and a well trimmed beard, he wore a black shirt that hugged his muscly arms, teamed with a pair of indigo jeans and sneakers. _He is gorgeous!_ I find myself thinking and can feel heat creep into my face as I feel my jaw drop and quickly shut it “ W...what can I g..get you?”.

The dark haired man gives me a little smile, which makes my heart beat even faster " just a Americano and chocolate muffin please" he answered in a well spoken English accent and looks into his wallet

I felt myself go even redder _damn Mr Bagins and his tightness! “_ I..I am afraid we dont sell americano’s I..I am sorry” _stop your stuttering you look like a right knob!_ I scold myself wishing my face would return to a normal colour.

He raised an eyebrow as my eyes run over his tones body and I look away _Shit he just caught me checking him out!_ I panick wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

" well I will have a white coffee with two sugars then" he answers, smiling and hands me a five pound note, and I can feel sparks fizzle over my body as my fingers rub against his hand " I'll br..bring it over" I reply nervously _get a grip you moron!._

The handsome Man walks over to one of the tables by the window, I can feel embarrassment as the wooden table wobbles as the black haired guy leans on it, he carefully sits into the char and takes out a copy of the Daily mail.

I find myself staring at the gorgeous man, I picture him running his hands over my body and can feel my shaft twitch with excitement “ He Is say out of your league” Tracy’s voice interrupts my thoughts and I look away preparing the beautiful strangers order _she is right why would a guy like that be interested in a thirty year old, who works in a crappy cafe with no way to improve his career prospects._      

I slowly make my way over to the table and place the cup down careful not to wobble the old table “ Enjoy” I mutter and hurriedly head back towards the counter to bang my head onto the counter.

" what chapter are you on" he enquires and I can't help but frown with confusion as I turn around and look into his mesmerising eyes . He smiles when he see’s my confused face and point’s to my apron “ I could not help but note your book.”

 

“ Ch..chapter seven” I stutter nervously _Come on Kili you twat!_ “ But I have read the series loads of times” _soothe move!_ I think and shift my feet nervously and put my hand into the apron.

" I'm reading sharpe's battle at the moment, what's your favorite?" he asked smiling politely looking straight into my face, Which I have a goofy smile plastered across. When I don’t answer he looks back to his paper.

" Sh.. Sharpes tiger" I stutter _stop stuttering you Idiot!_ I scold myself, I have always had a problem with stuttering but found It gets worse under extreme stress or nerves.

“That is one of my Favorites too, Not many people realise there are actually a few before riffles because of the Television series” he chatters putting his paper onto the old table “ I love all the Bernard cromwell books have you read any others?”

 _This guy is hot! why is he being so nice?_ I ask myself feeling my face turn even redder, my throat feels dry and I find myself almost forgetting how to talk “ I...I er” _speak you knob, speak “_ I...I well yes, I have read….”

" I do not pay you to stand around talking you can go and clean the toilets" A stern voice behind me snarls, with a hint of amusement mixed in with the order.

I can feel my body jolt in surprise _stupid fool you are so busy staring at this gorgeous guy you didnt even hear the door go_ " yes Mr Bagins” I mumble looking at the floor, and hurry of to complete my task.

 

As I walk past tracy I note a sneer appear on her face, she flicks her long blonde hair and practically runs over to her father “ He has been Ignoring orders again too daddy, and reading” She says in her sweetest tone.

I can feel annoyance run through my body“ That is n...not fair she was….”

“ Enough Kili, I have spoken to you about reading before” He smirks I knew he had been after a reason to sack me for months “ This is the third time you have been caught reading, you have had fair warning, now pack your stuff and clear out your locker you are fired.”

A mixture of panic and embarrassment flood through my body, I look at my feet and shuffle them “ Yes mr Baggin’s” I reply quietly and pull at my apron taking it off over my head, I walk over to the desk and pick up my black rucksack shoving my book into the bag _what am I going to do? how am I going to pay my rent?_ I momentarily look at Mr Bagins wondering if to plead for my job, then I dare look at the black haired who Is watching the scene then think better of it _I will not make a fool of myself!._

I look at Tracy and see a wide grin spread across her face, I have the urge to slap the smile of her face but manage to control myself and thunder to the door “ I will be back friday for my pay.” I say quietly, just wanting to go home and drown my sorrows with a bottle of vodka.

I put my hand on the handle but stop when I feel a large hand on my shoulder, which causes me to hesitate, I spin around and find myself looking into the Intense blue eye’s of the handsome stranger “ Are you going to let him get away with that?” he asks astounded.

I just remain silent unsure what to say or do any shrug myself free “Ju...just leave it… I...I will be fine” I mumble and turn back to the old green painted door.

"We'll hang on" the well spoken man orders with a tone of authority beneath it, I stop dead in my tracks and turn around _Why do you not just run?_ I ask myself but find I am glued to the spot. The dark haired man turns to Mr Bagins and narrows his eyes in dislike   "Your other employee is not innocent in this matter.” he informs My curly haired boss.

Mr Bagins face colors and I can tell that he is getting annoyed at the dark haired man “ And what do you mean by that sir?” he asks smiling I can tell his blood Is boiling and he grinds his teeth as he always does, when someone argues or angers him.

“ Your other Employee had a magazine out and was painting her nails, I believe that would fall under poor hygiene 1990 act” The stranger says locking eyes with Mr Bagin’s “ You cannot dismiss one Employ for reading a book when your other employ was breaking the law.”

I can see Mr Bagin’s nostrils flare and eye’s narrow, he whizzes around to face his daughter who is gawping at the scene with her mouth dropped “ Tracy, Is what this man says true?” he asks.I watch as his eyes flick to the red nail polish still on the counter and can’t help but smile as I know he cannot even denie it.

He looks into my face and I can see anger as well as a little embarrassment in his own "Well in that case Kili, the toilets still need cleaning” he smiles trying to mask his anger at the gentleman calling him out.

I turn to face the dark haired man “ T..Thanks” I stammer giving him a little smile which he returns, causing butterflies to flutter in my stomach, my heart feels as if it will burst.

 

“ You are welcome” he says friendly, as our eyes lock, It feels as if nothing else in the world matters, I can feel a rush of want and need flood over my entire being, I had not felt this need this strong before in my life. _what is it about him? he is a stranger!_ I remind myself as my heart pounds against my chest.

“ Kili, If you want to keep you job toilets now” Bilbo barks bringing me back to earth with a thump reminding of where I am.

“ Yes Mr Bagin’s” I reply hurrying out of the room and to the cleaning cupboard and pull out the rubber gloves and bleach. I hear the bell go and my heart sink as I know the Kind stranger has just left.

I hurry into the Old bathroom and into the bathroom , I sink to the floor by the sinks trying to regain my senses _you will probably never see him again, calm down you foolish Idiot!_ I scold myself, willing my body to return to its normal temperature _he is not that gorgeous!_ I tell myself then hear footsteps towards the door and hastily get to my feet to complete my horrid task. _you will never see him again!._

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Thorin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then he opened his mouth and begin to sing an acoustic version of summer of 69, he had a gravelly, edge voice and It was beautiful, he sang the song abit more Rocky than the original but it sounded right.

My mind falls back to the cute stuttering brunet, as it had done all day _Thorin get a grip!_ I scold myself as I walk across the car park towards my friend’s bar, It is a modern building with purple luminous lettering, with gold around the edge reading Dwalin’s place, Dwalin had always wanted to own his own bar and had worked hard to see it happen.

 

I walk up to the Black painted door and smile at the slogan written across Innocent grapes died for you _That is brilliant!_ a grin spreads across my face as I push the door open, The newly refurbished bar was Painted in deep purple, With a black border and a silver coloured paint at the top,I nod a few modern art pieces and when I look closer I read the artist name and see’s a class of 2014 written underneath, I smile happily at my friend supporting the local art college.  

 

I scan the room and note the table’s _so Dwalin!_ I chuckle as I realise they are all made out of used beer barrels with a wooden varnished top even the stool’s were constructed of used beer barrels with a wooden top.

 

 

I smile at my friend who Is stood behind the long black marble bar With a tea towel over his his shoulder “ Thorin was wondering when you would be by to see what I had done with the place!” he says and clasps his hand on my shoulder as I sit on a bar stool.

 

I love around the crowded bar feeling pride at my friend’s accomplishment at the transformation of what was an old run down pub into what seems to be an already popular bar and look back at my oldest friend “ You have outdone yourself D this place look’s amazing.” I praise him with a grin spread across my face.

 

My tattooed friend just grin’s back “ Aye Business is mate and its all thanks to you” he says cheerfully pulling a pint and putting it in front of me, I stand up and pull out my wallet from my jean pocket “ No mate, you drink free here, without you and your loan, this place would not be here”.

 

I take a sip out of the larger pint then look to Dwalin and smile “ Hey I have known you twenty year’s you're like my brother, It’s not a problem” I scan the room and note the place is so crowded some people were stood up “ So tell me what is your secret? this place is packed!”.

 

Dwalin looks at his blonde haired wife who is serving another customer along with a tall man who seems to be in his late twenties with long blonde hair “ Open mic night” He chuckles at my raised eyebrow “ aye I know thats what I did too” he pours himself a small pint and takes a swig “ It was Jen’s Idea she read about promotion Idea’s online and I have got to admit it is brilliant for business.” he gives his wife a loving look which she returns giving me a wave “ You how is the world of teaching?.”

 

I let out a loud groan “ don’t ask” I sigh thinking about my prick of a boss “ The head has brought in a new rule about not letting the student’s onto a certain part of the training field which is proving a bitch to reinforce” I moan taking another mouthful of ale “ So how are the kids?”

 

“ Oh there really good Liz is starting college In september, she has finally decided to study animal care after changing her mind” he laugh’s fondly “ and Doug is enjoying uni, I think well he always seems to be off to some play as part of the course.”

 

I feel warm glow of pride at both of my godchildren accomplishments _they are good kids!_ I smile, when a large wail comes over the microphone and hits my ear drum _oh my god sounds like a cat being strangled!_ I look to my friend wholooks at my face and laughs " what the hell is that!."

 

" That is one of my customers who have had one too many and have decided they are going to be the next Tina Turner" he chuckles at my pained expression " Aye that is what I done the first time and then I got these" he takes out a pair of ear plugs from his ear " christ she is bad" he utters hastily putting them back in."

 

I look at the stage and cringe at the drunken blonde who is visibly swaying on her feet, and cringe then turn back to my friend “ Someone needs to take her to the doctor’s she sounds like she is in pain” I jest and breath a sigh of relief as she finishes “ They are not all like that are they? because if they are I am going to need a lot more of these!” I indicate to my pint.

 

“ Oh there not normally that bad! she was an extreme exception” He looks towards the stage and beam’s “ Now this guy Is amazing” he says indicating to the next act. I note the pub quieting down as a man walks onto the stage.

 

He has long wavy Brown hair which he has loose and is cascading down his back, He has a skinny frame, with broad shoulders, and his arms are covered In tattoo’s one side he has a tribal like design which snakes from his wrist to his shoulder, while the other seems to be a bit less organised an unfinished. he wore a simple black vest and a pair of tight skinny jeans with black doc martin boots and chunky bracelets. He carried an battered acoustic guitar with discoloured wood and a red shoulder strap _He is stunning!_ I can feel my eye’s darken with lust and follow his movements, as my heart quicken’s and cock begins to harden.

 

I hear a chuckle and reluctantly peel my eye’s from the handsome brunet and turn to face my friend “ What?” I ask innocently but feel a smile creep on to my face, and I return my gaze back to the stage, the brunet sits on a stall by the mic _I know him!_ I realise but cannot put my finger on where from.

 

The begins to strum along the guitar strings, He open’s his mouth and outcomes the most beautiful voice I have heard, Rocky with a gravelly edge to it, It sends shivers down my spine and the whole room silences, listening intently to the amazing tones of the singer as he sings summer of 69 to the mesmerized room.

 

As I narrow my eye’s onto the singers face, I note stubble to his face _suits him!_ I think then look into his large eyes, noting the most stunning chocolate brown eyes, made to stand out with a thick layer of eyeliner around the outside _He has kind eye’s!_ I realise and find myself getting lost and drawn in to his voice. It feels like we are the only one’s here and he is singing his heart purely for my pleasure.

 

As soon as he finishes the crowd erupt into applause, rising to their feet. The brunet shifts nervously and gives a low bow and picks up his bag, I watch him as he slowly walks off the stage and turn to face my friend who has a knowing twinkle in his eye “ That...that guy is.”

 

“ Aye Amazing…” he grin’s interrupting my stuttering “ he puts another pint in front of and winks “ not bad on the eye’s either” he jests reading my thoughts and takes the towel off his shoulder and begins wiping it over the bar.

 

“ Who Is he? what is his name?” I quiz the scottish man watching the singer with one eye _I can’t keep my eyes off of him why can't I just look away?_ flustration bubbles up inside me at my behaviour and I can feel my face flush _get a grip you are forty two years old not a fifteen year old schoolboy!_

“ Why do you want to get to know him?” Dwalin winks and I can feel my face turn scarlet as my shaft stiffens “ Well to tell you the truth no one seems to know much about him, He comes here every open mic night, sings then leaves” He says watching the stranger also “ Although I think he said his name is Raven once”.

 

I watch as he opens the door placing his guitar on his shoulder and rucksack on the his other, he takes out a roll up cigarette from his pocket and places it in between his lips then steps into the warm evening. My heart races _What If I never see him again? I need to know him, I dont know why but I need to talk to this man!_ My irrational thoughts confuse me but In my heart I know that this man is special. I make a snap decision and down my pint “ Wish me luck” I grin At Dwalin.  

 

“ Have fun” He smiles and I turn around and rush into the night and across the carpark, I look left and right frantically scanning the pavement for the long hair of the handsome singer. My heart sinks when I realise he has vanished _must have had a car!_ I realise and let out a sigh and head towards the pavement _Probably would not have been interested in you! he probably is not even gay and has a beautiful girl friend waiting for him at home._

 

As I walk down the pavement I hear a grunt which I ignore and take out a cigarette of my own along with a metal zippo lighter and spark up the smoke taking a huge drag _should have been quicker you fool!_ Just as I quicken my pace I hear another grunt only this time closer along with some jeers.

 

“ Get up queer” a voice says full of menace and threat. I note a near by alleyway and take a step towards it when I hear another grunt. _you should not go down there Idiot just call the police!_ I think as I realise the grunt’s are of someone being attacked _no need to be a god damn hero!._ I take out my mobile and type 999 on to my phone as I slowly edge down the poorly lit alleyway, my head is telling me to turn around and go back to the bar, but my heart is saying something completely different.

 

I silently walk down the alleyway as I round the alleyway, I can feel my heart skip and colour drain, I look to the floor and find myself looking at the face of the man of my desire’s, blood is running from his nose, and his face is screwed up in pain, and grunt’s as one of the attackers kick a blow to his stomach.

 

my eye’s move to the attacker’s and I jolt with surprise as I recognize one as an ex pupil of mine, _These boy’s cannot be that far over twenty!_ I look back at the musician and realise he is just lying still taking the beating _fight back damn you! why are you not fighting back!?_ I wonder.

 

I feel my heart sink as I note his guitar had been smashed, and his bag had been split causing it’s contents to fly across the ground, I find myself staring at the bag _I am sure I have seen a bag just like that!_ and shakes off the thought as he hears a moan of pain come from the handsome man.

 

“Leave him alone” I roar rushing into the alleyway properly. The teenagers actually jump, as they turn around to face me my ex pupil’s eye’s widen in recognition, My anger floods through my veins as I look at strangers bloody face.

 

The teenager’s hesitate for a second then scarper down the alleyway as fast as their feet will carry them, I bend down and take the handsome musician's hands and help him to his feet “ Are you okay? Do you need to go to A&E?” I ask staring into his eyes still holding his hands.

 

The brunet looks at his clothes then touches his bloody nose “ I think I will be fine thank you” he says quietly” Then I note his eyes widen and face flush, he pulls hands out of mine, and stumbles over to the broken guitar and begins examining the damage with a sad sigh “ damn” he says under his breath.

 

“ Would you like me to call the police?” I offer watching the brunet gather his belongings in a little pile, he walks over to a empty plastic bag at the edge of the alleyway and begin’s putting his belongings into it, I begin to pick up item’s too placing them into the bag which he place’s into the middle of the alley way.

 

“ No police, I just have a few bruises and scrapes thats all” he replies quietly. He seems to not want to make conversation, and turns back to his items, I hold up his wallet which he takes out of my hand without looking at me.

 

“ At least let me take you back to the bar and get you some tissue for your nose, the owner is my friend” I say softly not wanting the brunet to leave _what is about this guy?_ I ask myself again “ you really should get yourself checked over.” I say softly.

 

“ Just leave it okay” The musician snaps and runs off into the night again.

 

I let out a little sigh then spot a battered looking book on the floor “ hey you have left your book!” I bend down to pick it up then realisation kicks in as I read the title of the well thumbed book _it’s the guy from the coffee shop!_ I open the book then see written in the cover the name Kili.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading please review as they make my day :)


	3. I want to know you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin asks kili out

I walk into the little cafe to find my friend there already sat behind the little counter with a mug of coffee and a couple of biscuit’s,He is sat cleaning a pair of thick framed glasses hum a tune, he look’s up as door bell jingle and I can see his eye’s widen with horror at my bruised face “ You look like shit” Ori gwaps as I near the counter and place the plastic bag from last night onto the counter, and runs his fingers through his reddish hair.

 

“G...Good morning to you too” Laugh then stop hastily when I find my injuries make it hurt to laugh and sit in one of the nearest tables by the counter and run my hand over my stumbly chin _How the earth am I going to explain this to my boss, I am black and blue!_ I sigh then walk up to the plastic bag taking out a bottle of water and a couple of asprins.

 

I look at Ori and notice He has a napkin and pen in his hand I look at the paper and note he had drawn a heart with his name and his crushes name in it, he was a skinny nervous twenty two year old, with a freckled face, and it had taken him six months to pluck upcourage to ask the blonde haired girl on a date, he looks up at my bruising again and concern spreads across his face “ what happened?.”

 

I hesitate to tell him the truth _what do I say? A group of teenage boys dragged me down an alleyway and kicked the shit into and some handsome man I only just met came and scared the, away?_ “ I was mugged” I shrug as I see the horror in the young man’s face “ I am fine honestly, you should see the other guys” I joke.

 

Ori look’s into my bruised face with concern still and he puts his bag on his lap and begin’s routing through the contents “ I hope you called the police because you really should you no” he lectures and pulls out a glass bottle with an orange lid on top of it, he looks at my expression as he hands me the bottle “ what?”he asks flushing red.

 

I can't help a smile spread across my face “ Ori why have you got foundation?” I ask crossing my arms and raising an eyebrow smiling as I can already guess the answer _well I take it the date went well then!_ I think smugly as I watch Ori’s face flush even brighter and shift uncomfortably.

 

“ Mel she um…. she left it at my appartment last night” The red youth mumbles and goes back to the napkin and begins doodling some more avoiding my face “ actually she's been spending quite a lot of time at my apartment” he admits.

 

I cant help but smile fondly at my friend “ I am happy for you” I say sincerely and place my hand on his shoulder giving it a little squeeze “ I'm glad things finally seem to be progressing with her” I take the foundation of the bottle and begin to examine the label “ tell her I buy her another one” I say walking into the little bathroom and look in the mirror.

 

I pump little squirts of the substance on my hand and begin rubbing it into my face and over my bruises _close skin match!_ I thinking adding more to my face, I wince as I rub it into the large bruise on my cheek, then look in the mirror _not perfect but no where near as bad!_ I think and adjust my messy bun.

 

I hear the door bell jingle but ignore it greatful that Ori is working and is willing to actually work rather than sit there bossing me around _Well would you look at that its 9.30 on a saturday and we actually have a customer!_ I think happily checking my phone, I take one more look in the mirror and adjust bun again then walk back into the cafe.

 

I feel my stomach jolt as I see the black haired man from the previous day and night _shit!_ I panic and can feel my palms begin to sweat _dont recognise me, please dont recognise!_ I pray and approach the counter with a smile.

“ He...Hello again” I stutter feeling my heart begin to flutter at the handsome, Dark haired stranger, and then a cold fear run’s through my veins _what If he called the police after all Mr Bagin’s will go mad If police come traipsing into his shop, he will certainly find a reason to sack me over it!_

“ Good morning” He smiles and I feel myself relax _of course he does not recognise me, I look completely different with no eyeliner and my hair, let alone without my tattoo’s showing!_ I walk behind the counter and look into the plastic bag, feeling my heart sink when I realise my book is gone! “ Looking for this Raven” he says in his smooth english accent.

 

I look at Ori who nits his eyebrows in confusion as he hand’s the Englishman a palustrine cup of coffee “ I think you are mistaken, His name is Kili not Raven” he laughs then look’s at face which has drained of colour “ Are you alright? you look pale, maybe you should have taken the day off after your fight”.

 

I gulp _This is bad! this is very bad!_ I panic grabbing for my plastic bottle and gulping down the water. “ I...I can't talk about this here” I squeak as the man just looks at me with his mesmerising blue eyes, and can feel my self flush, I turn back to my bag with fumbling hands and pull out my name badge, praying he will get bored and leave.

 

“ We need to talk” he says softly and takes a sip of his coffee “ Can you please give me just five minutes of your time and then I promise I will leave you be, just give me a few minutes of your time.” he pleads.

 

Kili look’s up into the strangers eyes and finds himself nodding in agreement _why are you agreeing to this?_ I ask myself and turn to Ori “ If Mr Bagin’s comes can you cover me?” he asks knowing despite looking like he is not the Young lad is listening intently to every word that is being said.

 

“ Yes of course” He says smiling and hands me a cup of coffee and two sugars “ Take as much time as you need” I can see an twinkle of amusement in his eye, as I follow the tall handsome man into a little alleyway beside the cafe and in between a laundrette.

 

I place the mug on the floor and take out my rolling tobacco, papers and filters and sit on the little step of the backdoor “ Y….you wanted to speak to me” I stutter nervously and spark up my freshly rolled fag, and take a huge drag.

 

I look at the stranger and can see a little nervousness “ Well first off I wanted to check you were okay” he says walking over to me and sitting beside me on the stone step “ why did you just take it?.” he asks taking a sip of his coffee.

 

“ I… I am fine thanks” I stutter and take a huge gulp trying to hide my nervousness _why does this man make me feel so nervous, so turned on!_ I ask myself and can feel a blush creep over me as I picture what it would be like to be with this man “Why do you care why I did not fight back?.”

 

I can see the handsome man shift uncomfortably _Is he brushing!_ I think as a ray of hope floods through my inside _he likes me! “_ I dont know, since I met you I haven't been able to get you out of my mind and believe when I say this that never happiness to me has never happened to me.”

_Oh my god he really likes me!_ I smile as happiness floods though my body I feel my happiness distinguish as I think of my secret _If he knew what I had done He would run a mile!_ I think feeling sadness replace the happiness “ Forget me!” I order him getting up from the step and walking to the other side of the alleyway.

 

“ I can’t there is something about you Kili, I am meant to befriend you” he states looking into my eyes. I can see determination in his face “ You grip me and your voice well you should be singing for a living not working in a crappy cafe being treated like shit by some idiot.”#

 

I can feel anger rise up inside me and my blood pulse “ H..how dare you! you d...do not know me, who d..do you think you are judging my life” I thunder storming to the end of the alleyway. I feel a hand grip my arm.

 

“ I am sorry you are right, I find myself in an unknown situation I find myself caring what happens to you” The stranger says quietly taking a sip of his coffee “ thats not why I have come here.”

 

“ Why did you come here?” I ask feeling a little shy, as I turn around to face him “ You can't say It is for the good coffee because the coffee is shit!” I state causing him to let out a deep laugh.

 

“ Well I can't say I come back for the atmosphere either” He laughs “ I found your book, and I would like to return It to you over dinner tonight” He says looking confident but I can see a little nerves hidden beneath the confidence.

 

I can feel myself jolt in surprise, my lips suddenly have gone dry and I seem to have lost the ability to speak “ A...are you asking me out?” I splutter and my shock suddenly changes to a little bit of anticipation and excitement _he is…. he is asking me out!._

I can see a shy smile appear on his face “ I guess I am, If you give me your address I will pick you up at seven” He beams and I can feel my smile widen _My god his smile is infectious!_

 

“ Okay seven” I agree taking out my notepad and pen and writing down my address and mobile number _he likes me oh my god he really is interested in me!! why is he intrested in me? who cares I have a date!_ I think happily and rip of the paper and place it in his hand “ Um… I...I really should know y...your name!” I say suddenly realising we seem to have skipped the pleasantries.

 

He lets out another little laugh " yes you really should and I should have said before asking you out" he holds out his hand which I take " I am Thorin, Thorin oakenshield" he smiles.

 

" w...well as you already know I am Kili, Kili Durin." I immediately flinch as I always do when I say my full name _please dont recognise it!_ I hold my breath but when he carries on smiling let out a sigh of relief.

 

Thorin raises any eyebrow but does not say anything “ Well see you at seven Kili” he gives me one last smile, then leaves the alleyway.

 

I can feel excitement rush through my body and can't shift the goofy smile off my face the second he had left, my body is going into overdrive as I my heart gives a pang of enjoy at the thrill of going on a date with the handsome man called Thorin, I remain dumbstruck for a couple of second, afraid to move uncase I did then suddenly wake up in my bed and it had all been a wonderful dream but after about thirty second I drop my stub out and practically skip back into the cafe.

 

When I enter Ori looks up and smiles knowingly I can feel my face flush and try to remove the smile from my face “ What??” I ask innocently and turn to the coffee machine to hide the Massive grin I can't shift of my face, and I make myself another coffee.

 

“What do you mean what, spill who is that man who seems to have put the biggest grin on your face?” Ori asks curiously and chuckles when I dont answer “ Kili come one, tell me” He moans.

 

I whizz around smiling “ The man Is Thorin and he asked me out on a date.” I admit and let out a giggle. I can see shock on Ori’s face for a couple of seconds and feel my heart jolt realising we had never talked about sexuality before, It then breaks into a wide smile.

 

“ Oh Wow thats awesome, where is he taking you?” he asks nearly as excited as I am “ Bet he takes you to somewhere really posh you lucky bugger” he grins at my flushed face “ I have to admit he's easy on the eye.

 

I laugh but feel my colour drain a little and bite my lip _what if he does take me somewhere really posh? I haven't got smart clothes!_ I begin to scan my brain for an outfit “ I can't go” I decide as I come up with nothing suitable for a posh date.

 

Ori looks at my face and gives my shoulder a little squeeze “ Hey I am sure smart jean’s would be okay” he says predicting what I am panicking about “ Jeans and a nice shirt and maybe a smartist jacket and you will look fine.” he gives me a reassuring smile.

 

_Ori Is right it does not matter what I wear!_ I suddenly feel myself relax a little and give my young friend a little smile and begin to hum happily as I help myself to a muffin _I have a date!_ I think again excitedly.


	4. kili's past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out more about kili's past

I arrived at the address kili had given me the place was well a dump.

It was a block of grey run down apartments with graffiti on The side. He lived here? that gorgeous young man lived here? There was a bunch of teenagers In the Car park smoking and drinking I very reluctantly got out the car and made sure I had put the alarm on. 

I walked to the door and pressed the apartment 4b button that he had given me.

" hello " his voice appeared over the speaker.

" hi it's thorin " I answered trying to sound confident.

" its open " he Replied and it buzzed to let me in I walked down the dirty corridor to the number he gave me and knocked .

The door swung open, he was stood in the door and gave me a beam, God he had the sexist smile I thought, he was still in his work clothes.

" I'm sorry I'm not ready I got held up at work" he Apologised.

" you spend to much time apologising, relax its fine" I reassured him.

"I'll.. I'll be about 10 minutes help your self to a coffee " he stuttered.  
And left the room.

I looked around the room it had manky Brown walls and the furniture was all shabby and alot of it broken And stained. I found the kitchen it had horrid yellow cupboards that were hanging off the wall and a few draw fronts missing I took two mugs from his mug tree and filled up the kettle to boil.

I walked back into the living room and realised he didn't even have a telly. There was a filled ashtray and An empty Amber leaf pouch on the table, and some paper and a pen with lyrics written on it.

The only thing that was in good condition was an electric guitar and amp, lent against an old arm chair.

How could someone live like this I pondered to myself.

I looked up and saw kili lent in the doorway watching me.

He looked amazing he was wearing a black pair of skinny jeans, a grey shirt and a pair of doc Martin's, he had his chunky bracelets on again, and a black leather jacket, his hair was still in a bun.

I walked over to him and pulled out the hair band.

" you have lovely hair, Shame to hid it" I commented.

He blushed clearly this guy didnt know how to take a compliment. And walked into the kitchen, to finish making the coffee. 

I sat down on the sofa a minute later he brought out the coffee.

" white two sugars right" he quizzed 

I nodded.

" never forget a pretty guy's order" he joked.

Then we were silent for a few minutes sipping our coffee.

" your place is" I started 

" A dump I know " he interrupt.

" so why raven?" I asked 

" it was my nickname when I was inside" he quietly responded.

I could feel my jaw drop and couldn't keep the shock off my face.

" You don't want to know now right? Don't worry I'm use to it" he muttered, and got up and walked down the corridor towards a door at the end.

I got up and followed, I knew I should run to the hills but there was something about this man I couldn't walk away from him.

I walked into the bedroom it was equally as shabby as the rest of the apartment, he was sat on the edge of a double bed with his hands in face.

" what happened" I questioned gently putting my arm around his shoulder.

"I..I was seventeen just lost both my parents due to a car accident, the other driver was a drunk. I...I tracked him down and beat him half to death, my brother is a police officer, he was one of the first on the scene. He disowned me, I haven't spoken to him since and I was sentenced two days after I turned eighteen to four years in prison. I got out in two years for good bbehaviour that's why I work at Baggins coffee because he is the only one who would hire me with my criminal recorded" he was weeping in his hands.

" Now you know I have regreted it and tortured myself every day since, but I get it just go" he sobbed.

I felt so much pain for this man, yes he had done something terrible, but he had paid for it, I passed him a tissue.

" shit I..I don't do this" he stuttered angry at his self.

" what cry or talk about it?" I gently asked.

" both" he replied.

I grabbed his hand and wiped his eyes.

" we have a date I have booked a table for 8.30" I spoke kindly.

"You.. You still want to go" he stammered.

" yes course I do" I smiled grabbed his hand and keys and lead him to the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amber leaf is a UK for of rolling tobacco


	5. the journey

He kept hold of my hand and lead me down the corridor into the car park.

There were a group of teenagers sat on a wall, by the car park they were clearly drunk and were passing around a vodka bottle, and I could smell the earthy scent of cannabis they wolf whistled as we walked past and thorin gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and we walked across to his car.

It was an electric blue Vauxhall cascada, in prestine condition,he obviously looked after it really well. 

He unlocked the car and held the door open for me , I gave him a smile and careful got into the car, it had black fabric seats and a black dash board.

it was an automatic car and he put it in reverse, pulled it out the parking space and put it in drive.

" so you know what I do for a living, what to you do" I quizzed

" I teach English at a secondary school " he replied with a smile.

What the earth was an well educated man doing with a man that working in a run Down coffee shop? I thought.

" ok my turn, how old are you?" he asked

" I'm 30 my birthday is the 19th of June. How old are you?" I inquired.

" I am 42 My birthday is the 22 of August" he answered he beamed at me and signaled left.

" where are we going?" I asked Feeling a little apprehensive.

"That's no a proper question" he chuckled " to my favorite restaurant, you get another question" he added stopping at a set of traffic lights.

I thought about this for a while what did I want to know about thorin, I got it.

" do you have any family?" I inquired.

" I have my mother who lives in Newquay Wales with my brother Frerin and his wife and son. I have a sister dis who lives on a farm in Somerset with her husband and there two children a boy and a girl, and my father died five years ago of a heart attack.what about you do you have Any Family?" he enquired.

" just..just me" I muttered, fiddling With bracelets. 

He grabbed my Hand with his And gave it a squeeze. I found myself telling this man things I didnt tell anyone, what was wrong with me? 

"Did you go to college before the troubles?" he asked gently. 

" I did I was doing a btec diploma in music, I wanted to be a song writer, but couldn't Finish, so I just write in my own time" I finished bitterly. 

" do any of your friends know about your past?" he quizzed. 

I abruptly shoke my head " I keep myself to myself mainly, the only friend I have is ori and I'm too ashamed of what I done, mr Baggins of course knows I have a past but doesn't know the in's and outs of it" I sighed. 

"I read your lyrics on the table" he admitted turning a little red. " they are beautiful" he praised. 

Now it was my turn to go red " thanks that means alot" I beamed.

And it did, what this guy thought of Me really bothered Me, I didn't get why. 

"We are here he announced"and ran around to open the door.

" what a perfect gentleman" I joked.

It was a large place, with the name Durin's in led dark blue lights, it was built with red brick and had a few flower beds under the large white Windows. There was on outside seating area With dark blue carousel umbrellas, I could smell all sorts of meat cooking, and my stomach gave a huge growl. 

"Hungry?" he chuckled and took my hand and led me towards the entrance.


	6. The date

I held open the door for the younger man. He beamed at me and took my hand.

"Mr Durin your table is ready. If you would like to follow me I'll show you to your table," the red head Lady smiled.

It had been a while since I had dined here. The tables had a fine gold table cloth on it, with a lit candle in the centre; the walls were a coffee colour, newly painted. There were spot lights on the ceiling and wooden flooring. There was soft rock music playing. And the smells were devine. I could smell freshly cooked bread and garlic.

"Hang on, did she call you Mr Durin? Do… do you own this place?" he queried nervously.

"I do, it was my father's. I inherited it when he passed," I smiled trying to put the man at ease.

"Now what can I get you fine gentlemen to drink?" the red head waitress asked as she came back to the table.

"I'll have a coke please. And what about you, Kili?" I politely asked him.

"Just a water please," he answered shyly.

"So Kili, what do you do in your spare time?" I quizzed trying to make him feel at ease.

“Well I like to read, and write. I love the cinema. I love getting tattooed, but haven't been able to get any for quite some time due to finances. And how about you?" he inquired.

"Much the same except the tattoo part. I’Id love to get one but I'm a little scared of needles" I answered laughing.

He raised his eyebrow "You are scared of needles. A 6ft plus man being scared of needles?" he shook his head and laughed.

"How about you, any fears?" I pried.

"Small spaces. I have been ever since I was a child," he whispered, lost in his thoughts.

God his two years in prison must have been hell, being stuck in a small cell.  I felt a lot of sympathy for him, and reached across the table and reached for his hand.

"So what type of music do you like?" he asked as he jumped at the touch.

I decided it would be best to continue as if this hadn't happened. "I love rock music.  Bon Jovi is my favourite band but I also like Jazz a lot.” I smiled then took a sip from the coke.

"Ah I love jazz too I also play the sax," he revealed enthusiastically.

We picked up the menu; it all sounded delicious.

"It all sounds amazing, but I ... I can't afford this place, Thorin," he muttered going a shade of magenta.

"It's my treat. I asked you out and also I own the restaurant so it's free. Now relax. What would you like to eat?" I chuckled.

He had the bbq pulled pork, which was served with potato wedges and I had the fish cakes and mash potato. We both just chatted about everything and anything. He was starting to relax a little.

"So is Kili short for anything?" I quizzed

"Nope just plain Kili," he stated taking a large bite out of his chocolate cheesecake. "Thorin, it’s open mic night again tomorrow. I was wondering if you would like to come and watch me again now you actually know who I am?" he asked nervously fiddling with his bracelets.

"I'd love to," I smiled.

We finished our meal and I drove him home, we pulled up outside of his apartment block.

"I have a gift for you. It belonged to my father and I can't play it, so I'd like you to have it," I finished grabbing my father’s guitar from the back seat.

"It's... It's a beauty thank you so much,” he gushed as I passed him the black acoustic guitar.

"I'd rather it go to someone who will use it than just be left unappreciated sitting in my box room.”

I lent closer to the sexy brunet. I brushed my lips against his, and pushed in my tongue. It sent a heat through my entire body. I pressed my tongue a bit harder when I realised he was kissing me back. I cupped his face with my hand. I had wanted to do this since I had set eyes on this amazing man. I wanted to do so much more with him, but not yet.

As we broke away I gave him a huge smile, which he returned

"Thank you for a lovely night," he whispered, getting out the car.

"You are welcome. I will pick you up at 7 tomorrow. I have your number and I will text you. Sweet dreams, sexy," I said and gave him a wink and drove off into the night. I had fallen head over heels.


	7. kili's song/ love is free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write my own song for kili in this chapter it was a huge challenge hope you all like it :) enjoy and please review x

I nervously paced the living room it was quarter to seven, what had gotten in to me not only had I asked thorin to come and watch me sing I had written a bloody song about the man.

I sparked up a fag it was my fourth in twenty minutes, he would think I was a weirdo, everyone else did. I expressed my self best by singing but this was too much, too soon.

The man had been on my mind every second of the day, I couldn't stop thinking about him, his lovely personality, his gorgeous face. Why was he so nice to me?.

I sat down in the old armchair I put my face In my arms, my brain was saying just sing Another song, my heart was telling me to sing my song, stupid kili I thought and banged my head hard on the coffee table, it hurt alot, just another bruise to The collection I thought rubbing my head.'

I ran to the bathroom to check my appearance again, I wore my hair in a white beanie hat , and dark blue skinny jeans my doc Martin's and my usual leather jacket.

The bell went shit he was early.

" I'll..I'll buzz you up" I stuttered nerviously into the intercom and pressed the button, I heard foot steps outside the door and then a knock.

I pulled the door open and there stood thorin as gorgeous as ever.

He had his onyx black hair loose, a grey rugby shirt on. A pair of black boot cut jeans that hugged his nice tight ass, and a pair of Black trainers. He smelt so good of joop

"Hi sexy" he purred kissing me on the lips.

" what did you do to you head are you ok kili?" he asked looking concerned.

" fine " I smiled weakly, my heart was going ten time to the dozen, why did I have such strong feelings for this man.

"no your not, sit down, breath" he ordered leading me to the sofa.

He ran in the kitchen and got me a glass of water. Which I took gratefully. 

He held my hand and whispered reassuring things in my ear, and I eventually started to calm.

" I'm.. I'm sorry" I stuttered.

" you have nothing to be sorry for" he spoke gently.

" we could always just get a takeaway" he offered kindly.

" no I need to do this" I said grabbing the acoustic guitar.

We arrived at bar dwalin twenty minutes later, I had butterflies in my stomach, thorin reached for my hand and give it a squeeze and lead me into the crowded club, we walked up to the bar, walking In And, around the crowds of people, it was Thursday and the open Mic night was always busier than Tuesdays open Mic night.

" evening thorin" the tattooed bar man greeted

" hi dwalin I'd like you to Meet a friend of mine this is kili, kili this is my oldest friend dwalin" he told me with a huge beam on his face.

" please to meet you kili" dwalin smiled holding out his hand.

" and you" I said shaking his hand.

The girl on the stage finished and it was my turn, thorin lent foward and gave me a quick kiss and I walked up to the stage, my heart was thundering like crazy this could go one of two ways thorin would either love it or think I am crazy and run in the opposite direction but I had to do this.

I walked up to the Mic guitar in hand took two deep breaths to steady my nerves, and felt myself calm.

" I wrote this song last night, it's for a friend who I care deeply for its called my love is free, I hope you enjoy it" I said more confidently than I felt.

I looked up at thorin and saw him beaming at me. 

I closed my eyes, let my emotions fill me up and opened my eyes and began to sing my heart out 

"When I met you I knew you were the one, you made my heart flutter, yeah you made me strong. 

If your not with me your in my thoughts , I miss you smile, yeah I miss your touch.

I want to be with you every night and day to comfort you and kiss your fears away.

My love is free, can't you see my love is free. 

Since you came in to my life you made me believe in me , believe in second chances, and believe in life.

You found me at the lowest in my life, I had given up on happiness yeah given up on love.

I want to be with you every night and day to comfort you and kiss your fears away.

My love is free, can't you see my love is free 

Your all I've want, your all are ever need, to be with you forever, in perfect harmony.

Because my love is free, my love is free."

I looked up at thorin as I finished and saw tears in his eyes.

then the crowd erupted into cheers of applause, I didn't care what they thought only what thorin thought..

I walked over to him and he pulled me into an embrace "that was so beautiful, knowone has ever done anything like that for me before thank you" he beamed at me through tears.

" that is why I was so nervous,I was worried you didnt feel the same" I admitted, a smile on my face from ear to ear.

" let's go back to mine"he purred, he waved at dwalin and then lead Me outside.


	8. let's make love

I unlocked my front door and held it open for him, I want to throw him on the floor and have my way with here and now.

I grabbed his hand and led him to my bedroom and kicked the door closed behind us

I reached for his face and brought my tongue to his lips. He opened his mouth a little and then our tongues met twirling around each other’s. I deepened the kiss and ran my other hand down for his groin. I could feel his bulge grow harder as I ran my hand over his sack.

He let out a groan as I continued to this.

“God Thorin, that's so good" he moaned.

I reached for his zip and pulled down his trousers.

Kili reached for my shirt and pulled it over my neck.

He started a mixture of playfully biting and licking my neck and shoulders.

I let out a moan of pleasure, as his moist lips continued to do this, I could feel myself hardening fully now. He had undone my trousers and removed them along with my boxers.

He knelt on the floor just in front of my shaft and looked up at me his hair flowing down his back and his pretty brown eyes full with warmth and love. He took my cock into his mouth and began sucking. His tongue shifting over the tip he began to massage my balls. 

"So close, so close,” I grunted after a few minutes.

He stopped. "Thorin, I want you so bad, want to feel you cum inside of me," his breath hitched. I grabbed his hand and we moved to the bed.

He laid down on his back and spread wide so I had access to his hole. I reached into the dresser and pulled out my lube. I put plenty on my finger. I circled his hole and slid my index finger into him and started thrusting it in and out.

"So good, so good," he moaned in pleasure.

I added a second finger, and curled my fingers making sure I found his sweet spot each time. He groaned and writhed.

"Can't last much longer," he cried rubbing his cock.

"Just one more, sexy, I don't want to hurt you," I said gently while inserting the third finger. I thrust in and out a few times, scissoring him so he was stretched enough.

I took back my fingers and he moaned at the loss. I slicked up my cock with the lube then brought the tip to his hole and gently pushed in my shaft. God, he was so tight.

Once I was in I began gently rocking backwards and forwards thrusts until he was use to my girth. Then increased my speed, pounding against his prostate. I could feel my release coming. My movements had become more erratic. Within moments I was emptying my seed into him.

I moved my hand to his cock and begin rubbing it. Within seconds he came over both our chests. I rolled off him onto my back, panting and wrapped him into a tight hug.

Kili was asleep within minutes, his beautiful hair spread across the pillow. I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. Then felt myself drift off into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first ever sex scene enjoy


	9. what are we?

I woke up to the sound Of my my alarm, just five more minutes, I thought Rolling over on to my back, and let out a groan 

"Morning sweetheart" a cheerful voice called from the door way.

"Morn..Morning"I yourned sitting up.

He walked Over to the bed And planted a kiss on my lips.

" I Will make breakfast, I hope bacon sandwich is ok" he said running his hands through my hair.

" perfect,would you mind if I used your shower" I asked. He was wearing his black hair in a ponytail and was wearing black trousers, with a black belt with a silver buckle, and a grey jumper and black tie. God I am so glad I didn't have someone this sexy teaching me when I was at school I never would of learnt anything I thought. I saw the love bite on his neck and smiled.

" my year 10 students are going to tear me a new one" he laughed as he saw what I was looking at.

" sorry" I blushed embarrassed.

" I've said before you apologise to much love" he said.

I got out of bed,forgetting I was naked and heard him Gasp.

" well that's a pretty sight" he purred, eyeing my man hood,which was semi hard he licked his lips and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and started kissing my neck.

" you best get In the shower before I drag you back in my bed, and make myself dirty again". He growled.

He grabbed my hand and lead me over to the door for the onsuite bathroom, I looked around his room as I had been too busy to take it in the night before.

It was huge, he had a black metal king size four poster bed, with grey bedding,sky blue painted walls, he had two solid oak chest of drawers a matching pair,both had pictures on them, there we're loads of them.

" Is this your Dad" I said pointing out to one picture in particular, there was a older man Sat on a chair he had short grey hair with streaks of black in it, he was wearing glasses and had a kind smile on his face, knelt next to him was a younger thorin, he was smiling and had a light facial stubble.

"yeah that's my old man, dont we look alike.he beamed.

I nodded in agreement, I had no photos of my parents or my brother, he had them all, and probably got rid of the ones of me, I thought bitterly.

" do you have any photos of your family" he quizzed.

" just memorys" I replied wistfully lost in thoughts.

" kili you need a shower" he interrupted my thoughts " you are all sticky, however hot you look sticky, I don't think your boss would be happy" he laughed.

I walked in to the bathroom, it had black tiles and a biscuit coloured carpet, I got in the shower cubicle and started to relax as the hot water flowed across my skin, I washed quickly and grabbed a large white fluffy towel off the chrome rack and towel dried my hair,and took a hairband out of my bag and tied my hair in the usual bun for work,I dressed quickly and walked down his plain hallway,I could smell bacon cooking and I could here a radio and walked into the room it was coming from.

It was a large kitchen with grey, work tops, it had dark wooden draws and cupboard fronts and white tiles, there was a large stove which thorin was stood in front of, humming to radio while frying bacon, he popped in onto the bread and brought it over and placed it on his breakfast bar, along besides a glass of Apple juice

" are you not eating?" I questioned noticing he had only brought over one plate.

" I've already eaten my love, I can drop you off at work on my way to the school if you like " he offered beaming at me.

" that would be great, but I need to pick up my uniform first if that's ok". I asked in response. Taking a bite out of the sandwich

" no problem" he replied.

" so what are we thorin" I quizzed, nerves filling me up , he gave me a bewildered look. " was.. Was this Just a one night stand, are we fuck buddys or are we more" I stuttered and prepared myself for a world of pain when he rejected me.

He grabbed my hand, and started rubbing it.

" I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I met you, I would very much like it if you would agree to be my boyfriend" he whispered sounding a little bit nervous.

My heart leapt with happiness " I would love to be your boyfriend". I let out a laugh unable to keep my emotions under check. 

Twenty minutes later we pulled up outside my work and he kissed my lips.

" have a nice day sexy" he purred and winked at me as I got out the car, and walked into work.


	10. not here, not now

It had been a boring kind of day, but no-one had noticed my love bite yet thank God, I had loosened my tie as it was lunch time. All I could hear were two teenage girls shouting abuse at each other in the corridor outside the staff room, but darn it I wasn't going to intervene; they would be friends again by the end of the day.

My friend Balin had just come into the staff room and flopped down beside me in the empty chair.

"I give up today. Sometimes I just don't know why we bother," he moaned.

He did this at least two times a week and usually concluded he was in the wrong profession. He was around sixty years of age, short with short white hair and a beard.

“I have just had two lads in detention for chucking ink at each other. Bring back the cane never done me any harm," he grumbled.

I let out a laugh and then my phone went off. It was a message from Kili.

*Hey babe how's your day xkilix* it read.

I couldn't help but smile.

"New fuck buddy?" Balin asked, smiling.

"No, new boyfriend," I answered blushing.

He raised an eyebrow, looking surprised.

"What?" I said at the expression.

“Nothing. I just thought you did the one night thing," he answered innocently.

"I do usually. There's just something about Kili. He is amazing, Ba. So shy and yet he grips me," I felt myself blush.

"And he’s a vampire," he said staring at my neck and smirking.

I started to text back. *it's been ok thanks sexy, but can't stop thinking about you, about last night ;) Thorin x* And I hit send.

"Must be special to make you blush," he joked.

“I really care about him. He's younger than I am and makes me feel so alive and he's got the loveliest hair and a sexy tight ass and…"

“I don't want to know" he hastily interrupts.

Then the bell went to end lunch. I tightened my tie.

"Good luck with your year tens," Balin chuckled, leaving the staffroom.

I hastily packed up my stuff and left the room. My classroom was just opposite the staff room so it didn't take me long to get there.

The students started to fill up the room.

“Right today we are going to finish watching Romeo and Juliet. Remember to take notes, there will be a 5000 essay due next Wednesday. I want to know what you think they could do to sort the differences between the Capulet family and the Montagues," I stated and turned on the telly.

The class grumbled.

My phone flashed as I put it on the desk. I opened up the message it read *I want your cock in my mouth x kili x*

I could feel myself turning red; oh sweet Jesus.

“Are you ok sir?" a girl called Sally asked.

"I'm ... I’m fine," I stuttered.

Then my phone flashed again * I want you cock in between my legs, I miss it ;) x kili x *

I could feel myself getting aroused and ran for my desk. I was beginning to shake and was starting to get hot. I loosened my collar.

“Sir, what are the marks on your neck?" Jacob asked.

Oh fuck this was not good, the whole class was looking in my direction.

"They’re ... they’re nothing. Eyes to the TV," I ordered.

My phone began to flash again * I can't stop thinking about you riding me, and make me scream your name. X kili x*

Fuck, fuck, I was fully hard now and glued to my desk. I reached for my water and took a swig. My phone flashed again this time a picture message of Kili’s hard-on. I began to choke and spat the water out all over my table.

"Sir, do you need me to get the nurse?" Jacob offered.

" No, I'm …  I’m fine, absolutely fine," I shouted, trying to think of anything but the picture. I looked at the clock 15 minutes till end of lesson. Fuck it.

"Class dismissed," I announced.

I picked up my phone and texted back * your place 6 thorin x* and banged my head on the table.


	11. kili's punishment

I waited in my living room with anticipation for thorin, I was having a smoke to calm, my nerves, I wasn't sure if the text was a good idea but least I got the reaction I wanted out of him I smiled.

The buzzer went " it's open I called thought the speaker. I heard steps and a knock on my door.

I opened the door, and smiled when I saw thorin in his sexy outfit From this morning, and he had a plastic bag.

" evening gorgeous" he smiled giving me a deep, passionate kiss, stealing my breath 

" hey" I gasped.

" I thought we might have a bit of fun with role play if that's ok with you my little minx" he asked squeezing my ass

" sounds fun" I said giving him a cheeky wink.

" if you don't like anything I'll stop" he reassured me.

" you were very naughty today sexy now it's time for payback " he said with a smile on his face.

he grabbed my hand and Dragged me to my bedroom, with the plastic bag still in his hand.

"Strip" he commanded, which I did instantly. 

"You will follow all my commands, do you understand?" he Said sternly and gave me a wink.

" yes " I answered.

" yes what " he commanded. As he stripped off, showing of his toned arms and body. 

" yes sir" I smiled.

He bent down and started massaging my balls, then Put my shaft into His moist mouth and began to suck as he played with my balls, I could feel his tongue run up and down my shaft, occasionally running over the tip, I let out a groan of pleasure.he stopped 

" you may not make any noise or I will gag you" he snapped.

And returned back to teasing me, running his large hand up and down my dick, I bit my lip to avoid letting out a cry I was fully hard and could see pre cum on my cock,he licked off the pre cum and he took his hand away from my dick and walked over to the bag and brought over a black cock ring and placed it over the base of my cock.

" you may not touch it or remove it unless I say you can understand?" he said firmly.

" yes sir" I panted as the ring griped my cock.

"Walk over to the bed, lean on it, with you butt in the air".he growled 

I did as I was told, excited about what was to come, I never had punishment sex before, And was starting to enjoy myself.

"naughty boys deserve to be punished I am going to spank you with a ruler you will count, eyes front" he ordered with a twinkle in his eye..

he brought down the ruler on my butt 

" one..one" I stuttered, it stung a little he brought the ruler down a little harder this time 

"two" I called 

the force of the ruler made my hips move foward he brought another two down very quick 

" THREE,FOUR" I shouted. 

My backside was starting to sting I pawed the duvet Trying not to call out. 

" he brought the ruler down just under my butt "FIVE" I screamed jumping in the air. Jesus that stung 

" and you get an extra for moaning earlier he said with a smile on his face. He chucked the ruler on the bed and brought down his hand on my ass " O GOD SIX" I bellowed, breathless. 

" I enjoyed that, did you enjoy that kili?" he asked sternly. 

" yes sir, is that the end of my punishment sir" I squeaked. 

God I was a mess my hair was falling out of the bun, I had sweat dripping down my face, I was so hard, and so frustrated I was unable to cum, my ass felt like it was on fire, and I was sure I would have a hand Mark bruise on it., 

He lent foward and tilted my face to look at his. 

" my poor little kili I'm not nearly finished with you yet" he whispered in my ear and, started playfully licking and biting my neck . 

He grabbed my hand and lead me over to the bed. 

"Lie down on your back on the bed" he commanded

I walked over to the bed, shit the pressure of the cock ring was starting to really throb now, I rolled on my back, he walked over to me with four pieces of rope he bound each of my limps, and made sure he could access my hole. 

He walked over the bed with the bag. 

"Open wide" he ordered pointing at my mouth and licking his lips. 

I did as I was toId 

He shifted around in the bag and brought out a small black rubber phallus with a leather strap attached to it he popped into my mouth filling it and thrust it in and out a few time and done up the strap. 

" suck on it " he whispered 

I obeyed I could feel spittle run down my face. 

He got off the bed and walked over To his jeans and pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of me like this. 

" you look so lovely like that, now I can remember this forever he laughed and put the phone back in his jeans pocket, and walked over to the bed. 

He grasped my face suddenly looking Serious 

" kili I'm going to untie one of your arms if you want me to stop at any point just pull my hair twice , or my arm what ever is nearest ok sweetheart.

I nodded and he untied my right arm,

He began playing with my nipples by kissing and pulling at them with his teeth, my god I let out a muffle,as he licked my chest with tongue his moist mouth against my chest felt so good.

He brought his tongue to my hole and started to lap teasingly at it, he thrust it in and out and worked me open with it laping at my insides,and twirling it around, I let out whine oh Jesus so good I tried to cry out but all that came out was a string of muffles and more spittle. He removed his tongue and slicked up two fingers and pounded in and out against my prostate my good I could see stars,I screamed out in pleasure under the phallus my cock was hurting with the need to come hard.

He slicked up his cock and insert himself into me thrusting hard and fast getting my sweet spot every time,I could hear the sound of his balls grinding against my skin, and he let himself go let out a primal grunt and released himself into my hole.

he pulled out and undone my cock ring quickly.

" ok baby you May cum" he stroked my cock twice and then I came hard over both of us.screaming " thorin" under the phallus. 

He reached up and undid the leather strap and took out the phallus. And brought out a knife from the bag and cut the ropes he quickly chucked all the items on the floor and I rolled into his strong arms In a Tight embrace. 

" did you enjoy your punishment, sexy" he purred. 

" it.. It was Jesus it..it was so good" I finally managed to get out. He let out a laugh then kissed my forehead and I instantly fell asleep in his warm loving arms.


	12. life in jail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These sucide attempts and the sucide watch are based on true accounts that happened to people

" NO PLEASE I WON'T DO IT AGAIN, DON'T LEAVE ME, I'M SORRY FILI. FILI" he screamed And punched he kept screaming.

He woke up and sat upright leaned into my chest And started weeping.

" Thorin don't leave me too, don't leave me" he Sobbed on my chest gripping on to me, his eyes wide with terror and he was sweating profusely.

" it's ok love im here,I'm not going anywhere, shhh you’re ok" I soothed reassuring him, he was shaking with fear and had paled.

After a couple of minutes he calmed.

"Sorry, I'm sorry" he muttered.

"It’s ok my love" I answered gently rubbing his back

" I should have warned you I do sometimes have dreams, well nightmares really And I’m back there Back Sat in a cell" he whispered.

"Who’s Fili?" I asked curiously.

" my brother" he stuttered.

I nodded showing understanding, I wanted to ask about the rest of what he said but didn't know how to bring it up, I wanted to be able to understand what demons he had faced in his past, what he had been through. But I didn't want to cause him anymore upset, pain or distress.

His dark brown eyes were looking up at my face.

" you.. You want me to tell you about my time in prison don't you" He stuttered guessing correctly

"I just want to understand what you went through but only if you feel comfortable" I gently answered, kissing his cheek.

He let out a sigh and nodded.

" the man that killed my parents was a drunk as I have said before, I found him a week and half after they passed away,I just wanted to talk to him, the second I saw him a rage just filed Me up I have never been that angry and haven't since, I found him outside a pub, I can't actually recall what I did to him a mist went up so can only tell you what a witness said I done, I hit him in the face and broke his nose, I kept hiting his Face, I broke his jaw, I banged his head against the floor and cracked it open. He tried to turn over and I kicked his ribs and broke several of them and then kicked his spine I paralyzed him that day he's now in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

"There was so much blood on the floor and I was covered in his blood too,I kind of snapped out of it the second I saw the blood his blood on my hands and ran to a phone box I called the ambulance and police and stayed by him, apologising to him, telling him he would be ok, praying he would be ok. I'd never hit anyone in my life before and I haven't since I still can't believe I'm capable of that, I have always been against violence. the police got there first, my brother and his partner were in the first car on scene, I remember the look he gave as if he didn't know me, the disgust the anger and shame. he shoved me to the floor I didn't even fight him and then cuffed me I was taken away in another car but before I was he shouted that I was dead to him and that he didn't have a brother I was taken away shouting my brother’s name. In court they showed the pictures of the damage I had done, I couldn’t believe I did that, I still can't believe that was me, I was the kid in the Oakley case. "

" wait a minute, your Kili Oakley?" I questioned, Jesus I remembered hearing about this on the news, and always thought there was more to it than the news showed. they portrayed him as a thug.

" you remember the case then" he uttered looking at my face " and hate Me now" he added

"Kili I could never hate you, I always knew the press had not given the full story, and now I know the truth" I reassured him giving him a kiss. "What was it like in prison? " I gently asked.

" there were good days where I'd sit in me cell strumming the guitar they had allowed me taking requests for songs from other inmates and the wardens, usually in exchange for a fag or two" he smiled and then his face dropped.

"and then bad days, and when I say bad days I mean bad days, days where all I wanted to do was die, I slit my wrists regularly, and thought about suicide on numerous Occasions, and how best to do it. Eventually I tried to hang myself with my bed sheet I had ripped the duvet cover and tied it to an Overhanging beam, but was caught by guard who restrained me, and pinned me to the floor.

" you.. You tried to kill yourself?" I stuttered unable to believe my Kili’s life had once meant so little to him,

" yes twice, the small space just got too much and I didn't want to live with the beast I had become, I used to be a top student with tonnes of mates, but I was alone and scared, and guilt ridden, and just wanted to be gone to go to hell or whatever place sinners go, I hated myself, still do." he spoke almost sounding numb.

" there is nothing to hate about you, your kind sweet, caring, and a beautiful person" I could feel myself getting emotional I couldn’t believe my Kili could ever feel this low.

He continued " do you know what they do to you when you try to commit suicide in prison Thorin?" he asked.

I just shook my head knowing the answer would upset me but needing to know what my Kili had gone through.

" they put you in a concrete cell all alone, with nothing in there, no bed, no toilet nothing and strip you of all your clothes so you can't try and hurt yourself with Them, no duvet to keep you warm or blanket. To cover yourself just naked" he said emotionless

" they leave you like that for days, I wanted to end my life and would have tried anything those days If I had anything that is, I remember looking around the room for anything to cause damage, in the end I started pulling out my long hair it was longer than I have got it now, and they shaved it off afraid I would try to use it To strangle myself which I probably would have if I thought of it but. my arms had slit marks all up them so it came to light I had Been self-harming, so I had longer to sit there, cold and alone. That is the lowest I have ever felt in my life I just sat on the floor in the middle of that room and cried, I was not allowed to go to the bathroom alone and was lead down corridors to a toilet naked past other prisoners, I got so scared of this Id hold it for hours sometimes even doing it in the cell. a prison guard came to watch me every 15 minutes to check I hadn't managed to hurt myself, and brought me food three times a day which I had to eat with my hands as they would not allow me cutlery as it could be used To hurt myself. They never talked to me just watched me, like I was some kind of freak show" he let out a massive sob lent into my shoulder and wept, and I wept with him for all the pain he had been though in his life.

" it's ok baby I'm here" I soothed, tears streaming down my face, rubbing his back, and kissing his neck, " you’re ok" I whispered reassuring him.

" my brother still Hates me I Tried to find Him when I got out but he has moved away, away because of me" he stated bitterly, between sobs.

" I don't see how anyone could hate you, you were seventeen a child still and you faced it head on and stayed With that man you didn’t Try To run away. Your brother is a coward and took the easy way out by rejecting you, by turning his back on you when you needed him most.'" I spoke and could hear my voice had a tone of angry aimed at his brother in it.

I looked at his arms and for the first time I could make out some light scaring near his bracelets, he saw where I was looking and removed his Brown braclets there weren't just a few scars there were a dozen in that area some extremely deep on both wrists .  
" my tattoo' s cover the rest" he mumbled.

" shit there's more" I exclaimed running my fingers over his arm I could just feel the scaring underneath.

What happened the second time you tried to take your life? I asked not even sure I actually wanted to know.

"I tied a shoe lace from my boot around my neck as tight as I could, Thranduil my only friend in there found me and saved me, they allowed me a bed the second time that's the only difference." he finished shuddering.

" Thorin I know I’m a lot to take on, I get it, you have a good life for yourself, a good job, a family that sound like they love you to bits, I will understand if you walk away" he uttered.

" I will not leave you, I don't care what you done, I care about you the you who is in front of me today I.. I love you" I declared shocking myself I didn't realise I loved him but the second the words were out of my mouth I knew that they were the truth.

" and I you, I have been in love with you since I set eyes on you" he confessed. Kissing my bare chest.

" I want to take care of you, that's why I would like you to move in with me tomorrow, if that's what you want" I finished unsurely.

" I would love too but I have got work tomorrow" he smiled.

" Sunday then" I beamed at his face.

" Sundays perfect he answered and kissed my lips.


	13. kili moves in

We were sat on the living room floor surrounded by all my belongs and one largebox full is all that was worth keeping, it held my clothes, a few books, a pen,paper and some toiletries, that is all I had to show for the last ten years of my life.

" what do we do with the rest of it?" I exclaimed looking around the room. 

" bin it I guess" he answered looking around at the huge piles of junk.

thorin 'was wearing a grey hoodie and black sweat pants to allow free movement to help with lifting objects and his white trainers, he had his hair scraped back into a high ponytail so it was out of the way.

I started looking around the old place, memories came flooding back and not one of them happy, well except my punishment from thorin, I smiled and the thought of that. 

I can't believe how much this man had changed my life. For the first time in years I felt genuinely happy, and wanted. He knew about my past and didn,'t care, I was so lucky to have found him. 

" kili are you ok" he asked interrupted my thoughts. 

" I'm ok Just thinking about you, and about punishment sex" I said feeling myself redening. 

He laughed and lent over my back to kiss my cheek Wrapping his arms around me " yes you did seem to quite Enjoy yourself " he chuckled. 

"I think I'll have one last cigarette before we go" I stated and got out my rolling backy from my pocket, a rizla paper and a filter. 

" do you want a straight" he offered taking a pack of l and b menthol out of his pocket. 

" why Didn't you tell me you smoked" I asked excepting a fag and sparking up. 

He removed one for his self and sparked up. " you never asked" he stated,taking a drag and smiling 

He was Right he knew all about My past and I knew nothing about his. I suddenly found myself feeling disappointed in myself he know so much about me and I knew very little about him. 

" I'm sorry thorin I've just realised you know so much about me and I know So little about you" I Mumbled. 

" its ok baby, ask me anything" he urged. 

" when did you find out you were gay?" I blurted out Wishing I hadn't started with something so personal. 

He smiled " I was twenty two At University And I was engaged to girl called Jules we had been together since I was sixteen, she was a beautiful, kind and I cared alot for her just didn't love her, I tried believe me I tried, but something wasn't right. I got drunk one night and ended up sleeping with a man I had never felt that free, that Alive and then I realised I was a gay man. I finished it with her and came out, My family were great,friends not so much." he was lost in memories, Then smiled at me. 

"What about you when did you realise you were gay?" he inquired. 

" when I laid Eyes on you" I blushed not meeting his eyes, and suddenly finding my shoes interesting. 

"wow Hang on a second" he gently tilted my face so I looked at his eyes " is this your way of telling me that I am your first" he asked shocked. 

" first guy Yes I have slept with three people two girls when I was sixteen both one night stands I didn't even kiss either of them it was just sex, and then you came along I never even kissed anyone before you" I whispered shyly going bright red. 

" sweetheart you should of told me, my cute little kili" he Chuckled kissing my forehead. 

" you don't.. Don't mind" I stuttered 

" mind it makes you even more adorable, I'm honoured you gave me your first kiss " he smiled kissing my face. 

"But as we are sharing things , I was er a little well there's no nice way to say it so I'm just going to say it I was a bit of a cock whore" he confessed laughing At the expression on my face which was shock. 

Once I got over the initial shock I whispered in his ear " well I'll be a willing pupil you can teach me some more tonight. 

He smiled " now my little minx we need to finish packing and I believe you had some more questions for me?. 

" what part of London are you from?" I asked 

" I'm not I'm a west country man I'm from Dorset, everyone always thinks I must be from London because of proper British accent but I'm not. My farther was a farmer and I grow up on a large farm in evershot, it was beautiful there were loads of hills. deers and stags use to run across our land, Christmases were the best we just use to sit around a warm open fire and had a real Christmas tree my grandfather would dress up as Santa every year." he replied getting lost in past memories. 

I smiled at his face, I enjoyed hearing thorin talk about his memories, and family. They all sounded great. 

" what about you are you from London?" he asked. 

" I am but my parents we're not my mother and father were from Dublin, they moved over here before I was born, Dad was a dentist and Mum a nurse, we lived near the docklands". I spoke quietly as It was hard talking about them still. 

So did you always want to be a teacher? I pried 

"Yes always I just enjoy reading and learning too much. I'm a bit of a nerd" he admitted beaming. 

" my sexy nerd" I teased kissing his lips

I walked over to to the big box and brought out a watch it was my father's watch I never wore it and it was the only thing I had left off him.it was taken off me when I was sent down and given back the day I got out.

I walked over to thorin and put it in his hands.

" I was planing on giving this too you at the right moment but it's yours" I beamed at him.

" Its beautiful" he said awe .

It was stunning I had to admit, it had a strap made of stainless steel, and had a black round face, the handles were made of stainless steel and Roman numerals on it.

" its the only thing I have of my father I was wearing it when I was arrested so my brother couldn't claim rights on it, it was given back to me when I was released. my mother gave it to my farther for a wedding present. I want you to have it "I told him while doing up the clasp around his wrist.

" I will cherish it for ever" he promised and brought me into a tight embrace, we stayed like this for a few minutes until he pulled away.

We took the boxes out to his car and loaded his boot ready to start our life together.

"let's go home I have a surprise for you " he beamed.


	14. all about loving you

" a car are you kidding you brought me a car" he exclaimed smiling.

" yeah one of my friends from work has just brought a new car, and asked if I knew anyone who wanted one and thought of you it's a 2008 model but runs like a dream" I beamed at his reaction as he just stared, with delight at the metallic blue Clio.

" I've never had a car, I mean I have a licence and pasted my test but Jesus I have a car, I love it thank you so much thorin" he gushed thrilled at his gift giving me a kiss.

" you welcome sexy,I'm so glad you like it but that's not the only surprise" I Teased grabbing his Hand and unlocking The door.

The house smelt fantastic I could Smell the chicken wafting through the whole house, I had prepared it this morning while kili was still asleep.

" oh my god that smells amazing" kili said as his stomach gave a huge growl.

I took his hand and led him into my spare room which I had transformed into a dinning room for the night, there were rose Petals scattered on the floor, candles on the small table and in the window, a mix CD I had of greatest power ballads was playing I had champagne in an ice bucket on the table it looked amazing.

" how did you do all of this, I love it" kili cried tears of happiness.

" I had a little help from some friends " I answered as dwalin and his wife walked in to the room Beaming.

they had been friends of mine since college the only ones that stood by me when I came out and when I told them about my plan they had only been too happy to help.

"We will be you waiter and waitress for tonight, on the menu we have garlic dough balls and cheese dip for starters, the main is roast chicken with, roast potatoes, Swede, parsnips and cauliflour cheese and for dessert is rocky road surprise and Ice cream." dwalin told us smiling.

" would you like me to pour you both some champagne" Jen his blonde bubbly wife offered.

" yes please" I beamed, she poured the bubbly then left the room.

"To us" I toasted raising my glass.

"To us " kili repeated as we tapped our glasses together.

" did they cook all the food, because this tastes fantastic " kili praised a few minutes later As he tried his first garlic ball.

" They put it on to cook, but I prepaired it all this morning so it just needed heating up" I explained taking a bite full out of the delicious dough ball.

" kili you don't have to if you don't want to but it's my sister dis and her partner Andy's anniversary at the weekend and I was wondering if you would like to come with me to there anniversary party which is fancy dress and spend the weekend in Somerset at the farm " I asked nervously I had never brought anyone Home to meet the family before.

" I'd really love that, I've never been to Somerset before " he answered enthusiasticly 

" great you will love it, just a warning though you will be a integrated by all my family I have never brought anyone to meet them before but they will love you" I reassured him as I saw his worried face. 

We finished eating our dinner talking about any thing and everything. ' 

" we're off now have fun you two" dwalin joked and left. 

" Would you like to dance " I asked kili as is this love came on the CD putting out my hand for him to take which he did. 

I pulled him in close and he had his head on my shoulder I slipped one of my arms around his waist and we began slow dancing, I looked in to his face and gave him a tender kiss, we glided, across the room, looking into each other's loving gaze. 

After the song had finished I blow out the candles and we walked to our bedroom. 

"kili I want tonight to be about your pleasure not mine, your in control tonight my love" I told him smiling, leading him to the bed and striping of my clothes. 

"How would you like me baby" I inquired. 

"Would.. Would you give Me a blow job" he asked nervously. 

" yes Id do anything for you" I stated truthfully, kissing his cheek. 

I gently started to strip him of his clothing, 

He looked amazingly beautiful naked I dropped to me knees in front of him and brought his long shaft into my hand I grabbed it gently and started lightly stroking it, kili let out a gasp of pleasure as I done this, I leant over and put the end of his hard cock into my mouth and began to lick the tip taking in his taste that I can only describe as kili. I let my lips take over and I bring his whole cock into my mouth, I made sure I kept eye contact so I could see the lust in his eyes, as I bobbed up and down on his sex. 

" so good thorin" he groaned. As I began to massage his balls at the same time. I increase the speed of my movements. I could feel his balls begin to tighten and hips buck, when I stopped. 

" sexy would you like me to continue or would you like to make me yours and take me." I asked. 

" you would let me take you" he asked a little breathless. 

" yes I haven't been taken for a long time" I stated A little apprehensive. 

" I'd like to take you" he answered giving me a cheeky smIle and reaching for the lube. 

I rolled over on my back and bent my knees so he could access my hole. 

He slicked up my hole by bringing his toungue and licking the rim of it, which made me jolt with surprise at the warm lick. Shit I was a master at opening up other people but it had been over fifteen years since someone had last done this to me. 

He oiled up his fingers, he started to insert the finger, my body was spasming at the intrusion, just don't panic relax I told my body and it except the intrusion, It felt odd to me, as he started to Move his finger slowly in and out, and my body began to relax. 

After a minute or so of this he slicked up another finger and begin teasing my hole he begin to curl his fingers and trust into my hole slowly, I could feel my hole beginning to stretch,as he begin experimentally scissoring the hole. 

" is this ok?" he whispered, kissing my neck. 

" yes it's amazing" I panted. 

"holy shit" I cried as he found my Sweet spot, he smiled and begin thrusting against the spot, I began clutching the sheets and could feel my cock twiching in excitement. 

" more kili need more" and he added the last finger. With a smile and quickened the pace, my eyes begin rolling in to my head at the amazing sensations of Him thrusting in and out of my hole, I could fell myself losing control of my senses. 

"More oh good more" I screamed he removed his fingers I let out a wail at the loss. 

He slicked up his cock and put the tip to my entrance. 

" red..ready" he asked me nervously. 

" take me, make me yours" I panted opening my legs wider to accommodate for his girth. He slowly eased himself in, my body began to tense as his girth entered further in my body, it stung but was amazingly good at the same, I could here kili's breath hitch as he fully seated himself. 

"is..is this right" he asked me nervously. 

" wonderful sweetheart" I replied reassuringly remembering that this was his first time. 

He smiled and begun gently thrusting his cock in and out, he leaned down and start trailing kisses down my neck. 

He gradually increased the speed and began trusting against my prostate. 

" kili, oh my god kili" I cried. 

" so good so good" he cried back at me. 

I had never felt this good before in my life, I felt complete. I grounded down on to his cock to deepen the thrusts. I could feel myself losing all sense of reality and speech, I could see stars. 

"Ohmyohmy" is all I could manage to say. " thorin so close.. Gunna Cum" he called. 

He thrust in two more times deeply and emptied his load into me. He dropped down on to me as he pulled out he lay his head on my chest panting then looked at my cock still hard at attention. 

" thorin why have you not come" he asked confused. 

"I said tonight was about your pleasure not mine" I grinned though I was struggling with the pressure on my cock and was starting to Throb painfully. 

" your pleasure is my pleasure" he beamed he moved his hand onto my cock and begin stroking it It took two strokes and my hips buckled and balls tightened and I released my self over his hand and my chest, he wiped his hand off on the duvet. 

He brought his hand through my hair and brought his lips to my lips and gave me a tender kiss. 

" you are amazing, I am so lucky to have you" he stated, kissing my neck 

" as are you I love you" I replied bringing Him into a embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy writing this chapter alot love bottom thorin. Love to read feed back :) makes my day x


	15. it wasn't me

I parked up outside of the coffee shop, checked my reflection and took out a hair band out of my bag, and tied my hair in a bun.

I thought about the last couple of days since I met thorin and smiled.

Then their was a tap on the window, it was Tracy.

" nice ride " she commented uncharacteristic kind with no hint of sarcasm.

" thanks thorin got it for me" I gushed, trying to work out if she had a motive for being nice to me.

" thorin is that the tall guy?, I saw him drop you off the other morning" she explained kindly, as she unlocked the shop Door as I locked the car.

My suspicions rose, she had called me freak, weirdo all sorts of things since she started working here four years ago and I couldn't remember a single day she had willing had a convisation with me.

" yeah" I replied uncertain as to what the hell was happening.

"Kili, I am er sorry for the way I have treated you, I saw you sing your song the other night at the bar and you sung beautifully and the song was amazing it made me realised I never really got to know you And I have been a er" she said very uncomfortable.

" bitch" I said abrasively I saw the look on her face and regreted saying it.

" sorry I should not have said that" I apologised.

" no your right I've been an unfair bitch, can we start over" she asked hopefully.

" sure" I beamed.

We stood there in an awkward silence, I didnt know what to say to her so decided to make a coffee. 

" so is he your boyfriend? " she questioned breaking the silence. 

" yeah he is, I moved in with him on Sunday" I told her while stirring in sugar into the coffee. 

" you are so lucky he is quite gorgeous" she sighed. 

" hands off he's mine " I joked passing her a. Cup coffee and the sugar as I had never made her a cup before, I didn't know how she took it. 

" my Dad told me you have been in prison before I just wondered why" she blurted out obviously wondering this for years. 

" he had know right telling you " I boomed suddenly getting angry. 

I saw her scared look, and my anger ebbed away, screw it thorin was right it's in the past. 

" sorry I don't like to talk about it" she nodded and I continued " I was sent down for two years for GBH when I was eighteen" I finished trying to get my breathing back to normal. 

"Sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" she replied but still looked uneasy. 

" it's fine, just brings back bad memories" I smiled trying to make my mind clear of said memories. 

The bell on the door ori walked in looking nervous. 

" you ok" I asked concerned. 

" yeah I just think I left my sketch book out back, need it for class" he said walking to the back of the store. 

" so why thorin" Tracy nosed. 

" he just gets me, and loves me God knows why but he does" I chatted it was sort of nice having someone else to talk to. 

The door went again it was Mr Baggins.he locked the Door behind him. 

" I have just been to my accountant, I have had 2350 pounds stolen over the last year one of you have stolen It I want to look in all your bags and lockers" he thundered. 

Tracy and me looked at each other in shock, and brought our bags from under the desk and emptied them on to the counter, Tracy had some cosmetics and perfume, and her purse, she opened her purse there was two pound no really money 

-

He nodded then turn to mine. 

I had my car keys, tobacco, papers, filters, phone, a hair brush and a few hair bands. 

"Now lockers"he shouted before we had a chance to pack our belongings away.

Ori was stood reading a text.

"empty your bags young man" he ordered. Ori had gone very pale and looked worried. He emptied his bag again no money 

" perhaps you accountant made a mistake?" I suggested. 

" there is know mistake someone has been stealing out of the till" he snapped. 

First he checked Tracy's locker clean, ori's locker clean. Then he came to mine, I had a feeling of dread I knew it before he opened the locker door someone had set me up and at the're at the bottom of my locker, was two hundred pounds. 

"Sir.. I don't... I never did this I swear" I plead feeling all colour drain from my face. 

" I knew it was you, once a criminal always a criminal" he thundered. 

" I have not stolen a thing in my life, I did not do this" I growled, rage filling me up. 

" well we will see what the police say I have already called them before I came in, I will have you arrested" he answered. 

" but I didn't do it, I have worked for you for six years, why would I steal now" I said frustrated, I could feel the panic and anger bubble up inside me 

Jesus not the police,I was begin to get fearful I wouldn't go back there. I bolted out of the back room towards the counter to grab my mobile I needed thorin, he'd know what to do. Some arms restrained me and dragged me to the small office, I had to use all my restarint to not fight back. 

"Mr Baggins I did not do this" I thundered as he let go of my arms. 

" Dad I believe him, why would he steal from you after all this time there,must be a mistake" Tracy cried following her father 

" you will wait Here until the police arrive" he shouted dragging Tracy out of the room and locking his office. 

it was a plain shabby office stone coloured paint and Brown carpet there was a large messy desk in the middle of the tiny office.,

I started to become terrified as my fear of small spaces kicked in, I felt my breathing increse and get heavy. 

" please let me out I'm claustrophobic, please I wont try to run off or anything, I didn't do it" I shouted panic stricken begging them to open the door. 

All the bad memories came flooding back, shit, I needed to get out of here, my breathing started to get worse I saw a pair of scissors on the desk I picked them up and went over to the corner of the room and curled up in a balI in the corner Jesus this was bad, "no no no please let me out" I sobbed 

" THORIN" I bellowed and wept.


	16. my kili

I begin by handing back my year ten's there essays, trying to ignore the whispering about the new love bite on my neck. 

" I have graded all of the essays with the results you would receive if you handed them in as a GCSE paper, most of you have done very well, however a few of you did not look like you have tried and a few of your were under 5000 words" I drueled on boring myself even.

It had been a disaster of a day so far and it was only second lession. first I had forgot all my lession plans for the day so had to improvise as I couldn't remember most of them 

And second I was on canteen duty the worst job going, as you have To spend most of your lunch break llistening to Hormonal teenages moan about there problems and bicker I couldn't believe it was my turn again When It was read out in staff briefing this morning , last time I ended up breaking up an argument Between a couple of girls arguing over a boy who didn't fancy any of them. 

" sir you phone" Jacob said bringing me back to reality. 

My phone was ringing,shit I had forgot to put it on silent, I smiled as I saw the picture of kili tied to his bed which I had stored as his Profile picture, I didnt answer my phone when I was at school so decided to leave it until the end of class. 

It went to answer phone so I went back to the class " as I was saying we will be" I was interrupted by my phone ringing again. 

I couldn't help but worry now so decided to tell HI'm I'd ring him back in a while. 

" hello" I spoke in my most politest voice 

"Is that thorin" a ladies voice replied I could hear the worry in her voice and I could Hear shouting, a lump stuck in my throat when I realised it was kili, he was screaming my name. 

"what is it, what is wrong with kili " I asked hurriedly, dropping the politeness. 

"my dad found two hundred pound in his locker after money had been stolen, he blamed him, phoned the police, kili is freaking out, Dad locked him in his office and" 

"HE DID WHAT??" I bellowed, the students jumped with shock as my tone changed. 

" you need to come" she ended. 

I took some deep breaths trying To calm myself down, I could feel the rage bubble up in side of How could someone lock my kili in a room, Like he was a Fucking criminal, he must be so scared. Then a thought came to mind oh no shit no. 

" is there anything Sharp in his office" I asked urgently, feeling my colour drain. 

" what" she said confused 

" is there anything sharp in his office" I repeated taking deep breaths. 

" nothing out of the ordinary, just scissors I think " she replied. 

" I am on my way " I stated, and hung up the phone 

" Jacob go to the staff room grab a teacher and bring them back here" I ordered. 

He did as I asked and a minute later came back with balin. 

" I have to leave now it's an emergency" I informed him already at the door. 

I ran down the Corridor, I needed to get to him now , he must be so frightened, I ran down the front steps and sprinted to my car, yanked open the door, and quickly drove out the car park, and increased my speed.

I could not lose him, I loved him. I knew he was innocent, Why couldn't his ass hole of a boss see it God darn it. I sparked up a cigarette my second since I left the school, shit God darn London traffic, I thought and punched my dash board.

Ten minutes later I pulled up outside the coffee shop, thank God the police weren't Here yet, I rushed inside it was unnaturally quiet.

" where is kili" I snarled glaring at Mr baggins.

The girl from the day I met kili pushed past her father shooting daggers at him as she did.

" he went quiet a few minutes ago I'll show you to him" she answered. I followed her through the small shop to a door at the back.

" kili it's ok thorin is here" she called trying to reassure him.

She turned back to me.

" I told my father he didn't do this but he's convinced it was kili" She explained angry. 

" unlock the door now" I thundered as Mr Baggins walked towards us. 

He was a short slightly podgey man with grey hair And wore a old red manky suit with a brown shirt. 

" no I will not let the thief out until the police get here" he sneered. 

" he is not a fucking thief if you do not unlock the door I will kick it down " I bellowed. 

He stayed where he was glaring at me 

" fine" I thundered and booted the door it took Three forceful kicks and then the door gave way. 

I looked around the small room and there in the corner was kili, he was curled in a ball with his face tucked into his knees, and had untied his hair and pulled it down so his face definitely was out of view, he was shaking like a leaf. 

I walked over to him and got down on my knees and put my arm around him and pulled him in a tight embrace. 

" shh Its ok love, your ok" I soothed. 

he put his head into my shoulder and started weeping into my jumper.

"I...I didn't do it I promise I didn't, someone has set me up" he sobbed.

" I know you didn't darling.

Then I saw the scissors on the floor they were open with blood on them.

" Kili why is the're blood on the scissors" I stated dreading his reply even thought I already knew the answer.

He lifted up his wrists there were 4 deep chunks out of each arm, the blood was trailing down onto his hands.

" he locked me in, I didn't even realise I had done it  
I just kind off freaked out, I'm sorry thorin" he cried into my jumper.

" it's ok lovely, let's get you cleaned up there must be a first aid kit around Here" I said gently.

I looked around and spotted it under the desk, I gently shifted kili off me and went over and took out some bandages, to cover up his cuts and gently bandaged his arm.

Then I heard footsteps heading towards the small office.

" Are either of you men kili Oakley" a short police officer asked sternly.

Kili grabbed to my jumper and his eyes widened in fear.

" Kili listen to me" I said gently Putting his face in my hand. " just cooperate and do everything they ask, I'll be waiting for you at the policestation when these jack Asses realise they got the wrong person ok my love" I reassured him, planting A kiss on his cheek.

" we need to talk to you down at the station Mr Oakley if you would come with us down to the station 

"am..am I under arrest" he stuttered terrified.

A taller police officer stepped foward " no we just need to talk to you, if you would just come with us" he said reassuring him as he could see the fear In his eyes.

He looked at me for reassurance.

" it's ok sweetheart I'll be right behind you" I encouraged him .

He followed them out to there car looked at me one last time, I nodded reassuringly and he got in the car.

" Thorin can I come with you to the station, I have the staff log in books, and till receipts for the Last year, we will prove kili is innocent Tracy said determined.

I nodded at the unexpected ally And help open the passenger door for and let out a sigh today was going to be a very long day.


	17. I know who did it

They had been questioning me for hours, my wrists throbed, I was tiered and hungry, I just wanted to be home in thorins loving embrace. 

They finally decided to charge me with theft Of The two hundred pound but couldnt prove the rest of the Money and released me on bail, I felt my heart drop when they read me my rights. After 9 hours they finally let me leave.

I walked into the waiting room thorin was led between two blue plastic chairs and Tracy was Sat on the floor with a pile of papers and receipts both had fallen asleep I looked at the plastic clock on the wall it was half nine at night, I walked over to them both and started to shake thorin gently.

" baby let's go home" I whispered gently in his ear, he began to stir and looked at me with sleepy eyes he looked around and the surroundings and jolted awake. 

He brought me into a warm embrace, and kissed my head.

" did they charge you" he inquired sternly.

" Th.They did for the theft of the two hundred only,because they Got no evidence on the rest ," I stuttered. 

"Ass holes" He muttered 

I looked at Tracy who was still asleep. 

" she came in with me, and has been working her way through all the paperwork trying to prove it wasn't you" he stated. 

I walked over to her and began to gently shake her " Tracy, wake up time to go" I told her gently and she began to stir. 

" kili they let you out" she smiled, wiping her eyes. 

" on bail, they have charged me with theft of the two hundred pound" I replied bitterly, helping her to her feet. 

Ten minutes later we walked out of the station. 

" I'll get us a takeaway delivered Chinese ok with you too?" thorin asked while signaling right 

" sounds good that ok Tracy" I smiled as my stomach let out a large growl. 

" fine" she said frowning at the paperwork. 

" everything all right" I asked. 

She beamed 

" I think I have just figured out the thief" she called happily. 

"Who is it?" I uttered. "Ori" she announced 

My mood darkened, rage penetrated though my body I thought he was my friend and he set me up, all this time, I could of gone to back to prison for this, Jesus Christ. 

" thorin turn around" I ordered, I felt my body begin To shake in anger and my eyes turn black, I could feel the black mist descending. 

Thorin pulled over and saw my face in the mirror 

" no kili calm down,I will not let you get sent down for him just breath" he coaxed me gently. 

" that bastard set me up, I haven't slit my wrists in five years before today, it's his fault, " I bellowed. 

"Breath calm down, breath that's it kili breath" thorins reassuring voice spoke gently. 

I Could feel myself begining to calm, my breathing although still heavy had shallowed alot. 

I looked over and saw Tracy's face, it had paled and her eyes had widened in fear, I started to feel ashamed and embarrassed of my self that I had got so angry. 

" sorry if I scared you, I shouldn't of got that angry" I apologised to her. 

" it's..it's ok" she mumbled. 

We drove the rest of the journey home in silence, and pulled up outside of the house. 

" this is beautiful" Tracy said in awe 

I had reacted the same way when I first saw it. 

It was a large bungalow with a beautiful flower bed and vegetable patch, a stone path leading up to the front door which was a deep blue, the bungalow was called wishing well cottage and he had a green wooden wishing we'll water feature in the front garden. 

" thank you he beamed" opening our front Door. 

We walked into the kitchen he ordered the takeaway and made us all a coffee. 

"so how did you find out it was ori" I asked keeping my temper in control. 

" oh I figured out everytime money has gone missing he was either working or in the building, I'm thinking he overheard Dad when he asked to check our belongings panicked and slipped it into your locker, but what ever this paper work clears both of us as money never went missing when it was just me or you on shift" she explained proudly. 

" then we will take it to the station tomorrow" thorin said as the door bell went, 

he walked out the room and come back with two bags of Chinese. 

" your welcome to sleep in the spare room tonight if you Like" thorin offered her. 

" that would be great don't really want to go home and see my dad" she excepted gratefully 

We spent the rest of the night eating and trying to talk about anything but the days events.


	18. the argument

I woke up kili was still asleep with his head on my chest, which made Me smile at my handsome man I looked at the clock 5am, I carefully removed his head from my chest and put a pillow there instead.

I walked into the kitchen and turned on my laptop. I couldnt sleep.I Couldnt get out of my head what Mr Baggins had done to kili, I was sure it was illegal and intended to help kili sue for every penny.

I began searching Google to find out about past cases, it looked like at the least Mr Baggins would be facing false imprisonment, but as kili was closterphobic it would be more serious.

"Thorin what are you doing up" kili asked coming into the kitchen and sticking on the kettle.

"Morning sexy couldn't sleep what about you " I grinned walking over to him wrapping my arms around his waist and planting a kiss on his lips.

" I had one of my dreams " he shuddered, it was only then I realised he was shaking a little. 

I clung on to him tighter, his wrists we're still bandaged but the blood had seeped through, I hated what that man had turned him to do. 

"Does it Hurt, I asked peeling away the bandages. 

He let out a hiss as I took it off the dried blood had stuck to bandages. 

" just stings alot" he whispered as I inspected the damage. 

I reached for the top of the cupboard and Took out the antiseptic spray, and put it on the cuts. 

He let out another load hiss as I Cleansed the deep cuts. 

Then I choose to approach The subject very carefully. 

" kili have you thought about sueing Mr Baggins, I have checked online you would definitely win" I gently suggested. 

" I..I don't want the hassle, I..I just Want to clear my name and then go back to normal" he stuttered, and flinched as I started cleaning the other wrist. 

" love you can't let him get away with that, he had know right to do that to you to anyone" I gently coaxed. 

" he is my boss thorin the only person that Will hire me" he snapped. 

" you intend to carry on working for him" I asked astounded, that his self confidence was that low he would carry on working for that man. 

" I don't have a choice" he argued getting annoyed 

" of course you have a choice, he treats you like crap, locks you in a room scared you out of your wits and you are still willing to work for him, that's madness kili" I thundered

" you don't get it I have know qualifications, no refrences, I am fucked thorin, completely fucked"he screamed. 

" you cannot be serious you would willingly work for someone like that, do you want to work in a coffee shop all your life, you can't be that stupid" I bellowed and instantly regretted the last part when I saw his Face. 

He thundered in the room and picked up a pair of jeans, hoodie and shoes shoved them on picked up his fags and walked to door. 

" where are you going? It's 6am" I asked more friendly. 

"Away from you, or am I not allowed to go out with a supervisor in case I do something stupid because that's what I am right stupid, I have lasted 12 years fighting for myself I Will be fine" he screamed storming out the house slamming the front door on his way out. 

I just stood there in silence for a few minutes 

"Shit fucking shit" I thundered grabbing my keys and running to the door.


	19. let's get a job

I walked along the pavement kicking a stone, I am a fucking idiot a stupid moron. Why the he'll had I kicked off like that thorin was only trying to help, and I acted like a stupid child.

I walked into the little co-operative, shit I needed a drink I didn't care if it was morning , I walked up to the counter to the teenage spotty check out boy.

" good morning what can I get you sir?" he cheerfully greated.

" hi I'd like a bottle of smirnoff and twenty five grams Amber leaf please.

He raised his eyebrow and run it through.

I left the shop and started to walk to the nearest curb, and took a swig out of the bottle, and rolled up a fag and sparked up ten minutes later thorins car turned up in a parking space.

" kili get in the car" he ordered sternly

" no" I argued taking a swig out of the Bottle.

" please kili get in the car" he pleaded.

I sighed and walked over to the passenger door and pulled it open I sat there taking a swig of my vodka. 

" kili I know your not stupid, I am sorry if you thought I was calling you stupid" he apologised reaching for my hand. 

We just held each other's hands for a few moments. 

" no I am, I sighed and you are right I can't go back there, but I don't know what else to do with my life, I have always just thought I'd stay working at the coffee shop" I uttered taking a swig of the vodka. 

." you are so intelligent baby, you could do anything sweetheart, you told me that you wanted to be a songwriter your voice and songs are amazing, why don't go back to collage and finish you course." He suggested beaming. 

" because that's not what I want anymore" I confessed and looked at the confused look on his face. 

" I Still enjoy writing and singing, but that's what it is now a passion, a hobbie. I don't think I'd enjoy the attention, the Me back then was confident determined and thrived under pressure and would do anything to reach my goal. I'm not the same person anymore. I think the pressure would really effect my health, I don't know what I do want to do but I know thats not it" I explained. 

" sweetheart I will be behind you what ever you choose to do with your life, I Iove you" he told me smiling. 

" I don't deserve you" I smiled kissing his lips. 

" I know I'm amazing" he joked, and I punched him lightly in the arm 

"I know one thing though" I told him, chucking the. Bottle of vodka on the back seat 

"what's that? He asked 

"I am going to sue that bastard for every penny he's got for what he did to me" I replied determination in my face. 

"I know a good lawyer who would be more than willing to help" he stated with a beam on his face. 

"Who" I inquired curiously. 

" my younger brother Frerin" he beamed. 

we traveled the short distance home listening to the CD in the player. " what do you want for breakfast, I asked,thorin when we got home. " just toast with butter will be fine" he replied kindly.

"Morn..morning" a voice yourned from the door way.

Shit I forgot Tracy was here and by thorins face he had too.

" toast? "I asked 

She just nodded.

I walked over and put it in the toaster, and poured us all some coffee.

" so what are your plans for today" thorin chatted to us both.

" well we're take the evidence to the police after you finish work, but before then I'm down to the job centre I guess" Tracy answered.

I raised an eyebrow at her.

" what" she said looking at my face " I don't want to work for my dad when he done that " she stated hastily.

"What about you kili?"he quizzed

" pick up my car first, then job hunting too " I replied handing them both there toast.

" not hungry my love?, it will help soak up the alcohol " He suggested.

Shit the alcohol, ok so I would not be going to pick up my car.

" ok so I won't be picking up my car this morning" I groaned 

" were pick it up this afternoon, I don't want you facing that man alone anyway" thorin sternly told me picking up his papers and suit case.

" I got to get going sweetie, see you later" he said planting a kiss on cheek.

He,said his farewells to Tracy and gave me one last kiss and left.

" let's go job hunting" I muttered, taking a bite out of a slice of toast.


	20. I love him

I sat in the staff room waiting for team briefing, it was 8am and teaming brief started at 8.20 shit not enough time for a fag, I walked over to the kettle and filled it up offering the other teachers another coffee which they all refused politely. My eyes felt heavy due To lack of sleep.

Balin walked in and looked around and spotted me he walked over to me and put his arm on my shoulder.

" are you ok after yesterday thorin" he asked concern showing in his face.

" yes and no," I answered truthfully 

"what happened" balin asked.

So I told him the whole story about yesterday well nearly the whole story except about kili's wrists, it was not his place to tell balin, and he didn't Want Anyone judging his kili not that balin would but still.

" Jesus thorin how is he now" balin asked sympathetic.

" he's Keeping it together, he's a fighter" I answered smiling as I always do when I think of my kili.

" you love him" barlin stated.

" I do, very much I've never felt like this about anyone before" I admitted

We just sat in silence for a few minutes, I was thinking about how much my life had changed, how happy he made me. When balin interrupted my thoughts.

" Keith the handy man is retiring maybe kili could apply for his job" he pondered.

" he well er wouldn't be able to do that" I answered uncomfortably.

"why not" balin quizzed.

" because of his criminal record" I admitted 

" but your going down to the station to Clear it, they wouldn't turn him down for stealing anyway surely" he said.

" no but they might for gbh" I uttered quietly.

" he's been done for gbh, thorin what are you doing with someone who has a gbh conviction" he asked gobsmacked.

" you don't know him balin, it was when he was seventeen and he was sentenced when he was eighteen he was a boy." I argued feeling myself getting angry at balins reaction.

" thorin how long have you known him? for all you know he could of served Time" he stated worry etched in his face.

" he did serve time when he was eighteen, look I know what I am doing, he isn't a violent thug he had reasons he did it" I argued protectively.

" kili the name seems familiar" he uttered suddenly.

" look you don't know him he would not hurt anyone " I thundered how dare he be that narrow minded to judge someone he hasn't even met.

" wait a second not kili Oakley" he gasped astonished as he saw my face.

" he paralyzed a man I remember the news, he just beat him are you crazy" he uttered looking at me like I have Lost my mind.

" there is more too it than what the news made out, I love him so butt out" I growled and left the room before I hit the man

I walked into the corridor and took some deep breaths team brief be darned I needed a fag I walked around the side of the canteen and sparked up there was two off my students there they jumped as I rounded the corner and tried to hid there cigarettes.

" I won't tell if you won't tell" I stated laughing at there reactions, they were both sixteen so by law allowed to smoke and school hadn't started for the day yet.

" sir are you ok, you seemed really worried when you left class yesterday" Sally one of my year tens asked as she reluctantly took a puff of her smoke.

" fine thanks, my boyfriend just needed me" I Said without thinking.

"Your boyfriend?" she stuttered shocked.

Shit none of the students knew I was gay, actually saying that not all the staff actually knew I was it's not like I was ashamed just never really shouted about it. 

" yes my boyfriend kili" I admitted taking another puff.

" we didn't even know you were gay their have been rumours about the school that you And Mrs wilder were sleeping together" the other girl who's name was Lucy uttered.

I let out a long laugh 

"not my type and I think her husband would have something to say about that" I laughed

" what does he look like sir? Lucy asked.

I took out my phone scrolled Through until I found a picture of kili with his hair loose, and a massive grin it was taken the night he moved in, and showed it to them.

" he's gorgeous looks like a rock star, your lucky he's younger than you as well " Sally commented

" he is gorgeous I admitted and he is Younger he's 30" I told them.

Then the bell went to symbolize the start of school. 

" you best get to registration see you fourth lession" I called as I walked around the corner

I decided I didn't care that the whole school would probably know by the end of the day I loved kili and would show him off to the world if I could.

I made my way to my classroom ready for the day


	21. I agree

I walked into bar dwalin, there were a few people Sat around the marble bar in business suits with what looked like scotch apart from that the bar was empty. 

I walked up to the counter and smiled at dwalin, he was behind the bar cleaning glasses with a rag.

" hi kili what can I get you" he asked friendly.

" just a coke please" I replied Taking out my mobile and sending a quick text to thorin.

" here you go, on the house " he Said as I went to take out my wallet.

" mind if I join you for one" he asked.

I shook my head.

" what did you do to your wrists" he asked with a look of concern on his face.

I decided to tell him the truth I didn't see the point in lieing about it, it would be obvious when the cuts healed.

" I..I slit my wrists" I muttered.

And looked at the look on his face, it was a mixture between shock and concern, I just couldn't get use to people actually being concerned about me.

" shit why?" he asked.

" I.. I don't like small spaces, my..my boss well now ex boss locked me in a room and I freaked out a little" I stuttered feeling myself colour with embarrassment.

" God that's horrible, he shouldn't be allowed to get away with that " he thundered taking a sip of his drink.

" he won't I'm sueing" I told Dwalin.

" how is thorin anyway?" dwalin quizzed

" he's good he's looking foward to going to see his family" I told him smiling.

And are you? He asked.

" I am shitting my pants" I confessed.

He let a huge booming laugh which nearly caused one of the men in suits to drop his glass in fright.

" you will be fine, they will love you" he reassured me. 

I still was not convinced. 

" I have known thorin eighteen years and have never seen him in love until he met you. 

" really?" I could feel I had gone beetroot. 

" really his family will love you because you make him so happy" he spoke gently smiling. 

" hope so" I uttered taking a sip of my coke. 

"How does he make you feel?" He questioned. 

" like I never really lived until I met him, he makes me believe in myself, makes Me want to improve my self, I just want to be with him all the time and when I'm not he's all I think about. I love him so much I've never felt like this before" I told him. 

Dwalin just smiled at me 

" and he is really good in bed and got a huge.." 

" that's my best friend I don't want to know" he hastily interrupted but let out a little laugh. 

I watched him wiggle uncomfortable and laughed 

Then I had an idea. 

" hey dwalin have you got any jobs going" praying that the answer would be yes, I liked dwalin he seemed an easy going non judgemental person.

" your in luck I have a vacancy for bar work going I just can't cope on my own in evenings, the hours are 6.30 til 11.30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays and 7.00pm till 1am every other Saturday jobs yours if you want it" he beamed  


"on one condition" he added.

"What..what's that" I stammered uneasy

" you agree to preform on a Wednesday night I'll pay you of course" he reassured me.

I let out a massive laugh.

" I except, thank you" I said hugging him across the bar. 

"You start next Tuesday, now let's drink to it" he stated smiling.

We clunked our glasses together and drunk.

I let out a huge sigh of relief thank God I have a job I smiled.

And got up to leave.

" where are you going you have not finished your drink yet" dwalin called.

" im going to tell thorin" I called back with a huge beam across my face.


	22. I don't care

I walked out of the school and waited on the bench outside for kili, he had asked if he could come and have lunch with me.

I looked down the road and saw him come walking up with a spar bag in hand and a massive grin.

"Hi sexy" I called in greeting

He looked gorgeous he was wearing dark blue denim skinnys, and what I realised was one of rugby shirts and his hair loose.

He walked up and gave me the biggest hug.

" I have job" he announced his grin getting bigger.

" that's amazing"I beamed at him and gave him a kiss on the lips.

It made my heart fill with joy at how happy he was, hopefully it would give him a confidence boost he had so little confidence in his self.

"Doing what?" I asked enthusiastically.

" working for dwalin behind the bar and Wednesday nights singing" he answered happily.

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart" I told him and planted another kiss on his lips.

I looked over at the door to the gates and saw balin giving us disapproving looks as he walked down the path past us and down the road.

" thorin am..am I not ok to be here" he stuttered his excitement fizzeling at balins reaction.

I could feel myself getting annoyed at balins reaction to kili, he had no right to make him feel  
Like that, he didn't even know him for God sake.

" Course you are my love" I reassured him taking his hand 

" Are you sure I don't want to get you in trouble" he  
Said quietly.

"Hundred per cent, now what have you brought us for lunch" I asked leading us down road by his hand. 

" some cheese and pickle rolls, some crisps and a muffin is that ok." he asked as we stopped at a bench. 

" perfect" I beamed. 

We started eating our lunch chatting about our day, every so often a student would walk past. 

" so why did that guy stare at us" he asked all of a sudden. 

Half of me wanted to lie to save him getting upset, but I decided on the truth. 

" he found out about your past, he was a friend of mine and suggested you apply for a job at the school, I said no because of your criminal record and he basically pasted it together and well yeah" I ended my heart breaking at his reaction. 

" it's never going to go away is it?, people will always judge me and now there judging you for being with me. I'm not allowed to be happy" he muttered quietly. 

I could kill balin for this, this was his fault, kili had done nothing to him. 

" listen to me" I said sternly tilting his head. 

" I love you more than anything and I would proudly show you off to the world, people are prejudiced and neither of us need people like that in our lives as long as we have each other nothing else matters" I finished kissing him on the head. 

" your right" he beamed. We walked back to the school and stood outside. There were a few,pupils and members of staff outside. 

"See you later"he smiled kissing my cheek shyly. 

Screw it I thought and leaned in and pushed our lips together into a tender kiss. 

The teenagers let out wolf whistles as we kissed. 

I pulled apart and just laughed at kili's astounded face. 

" See you later sexy" I winked and walked back into the school.

I walked to my class room smiling at kili's response.

Well the school certainly knew I was gay now I thought with a chuckle getting my lession ready for my year tens, who were sure to question me about what happened.

" sir who was that you were kissing" Jacob asked soon as he walked in. 

The whole class went silent.

" that was my boyfriend kili" I told them calmly, knowing It was best to get questions over before I started the lession.

" how did you meet sir?" one girl asked.

" he worked in a coffee shop" I answered honestly, 

"now let's get on with the lession" I said knowing I would probably end up answering the same question in my next lesson.

There was a huge groan, and then the class settled down.


	23. christening kili's car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Car smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Lady Luna for the idea

I just got off the phone when thorin walked in.I ran up to him and gave him a massive embrace.

" just had a call from the police, Tracy has taken in the evidence, cleared of all charges" I announced beaming.

"Oh my god that's fantastic baby" he said lifting me up and swinging me around.

"I'm taking you out to celebrate pizza and the cinema sound good?" he asked and gave me a quick kiss.

" perfect" I smiled.

" if you order a taxi to The coffee shop were pick up your car and go in that" he suggested walking into the bedroom. 

" sounds like a plan" I answered and called the taxi.

Five minutes later thorin came back out in some dark blue jeans and my black shirt and boots, with his long black hair loose.

" thief" I joked, as he put on a jacket.

" I could same the same about you in my rugby shirt but I'll let you off you look so darn sexy in my shirt" he purred kissing and licking my neck. 

Jesus I could feel myself getting hard, he had discovered that my neck was a sensitive spot that got me rather excited.

"Thorin we aren't going to make it anywhere in a minute if you keep that up" I half joked as my erection got harder, he put his hand to my crutch and felt my hard on, I let out a groan of pleasure then the door bell went.

" oh such a shame" he said disappointed and then took my hand and led me to the taxi.

We spent much of the taxi drive in silence, I had my coat on my Lap trying to think of things to calm he down, which was impossible with thorin sat next to me looking so sexy in my god damn black shirt.

I kept giving him daggers which only seemed to make him smile. Bastard I thought.

Ten minutes later we turned up outside the shop I opened the car while thorin paid the taxi driver.

we both got in the Clio and I pulled out of the parking space and started driving on the main road.

Thorin reached over and started rubbing my semi hard cock through my trousers, I let out a groan of pleasure as I tried to keep my eyes on the road. I heard my zip undo on my jeans and he freed my cock.

" looks so beautiful stood at attention for me" he growled and started running his hand up and down my shaft, running his thumb along the slit.

" fuck, oh my god" I moaned with pleasure grasping onto the wheel, I saw an empty car park signaled into it and pulled up.

I let my head fall back into the head rest and let my body give into the pleasure thorins hand was giving me.

" shall we get in the back thorin asked climbing through the middle into the back seat, he grabbed my hand and helped me into the back.

He brought his lips up to my neck as his hand continued pleasuring my cock. He started licking and kissing my neck playfully I took my hand and unziped him as well and I Started running my hand up and down his length, starting slowly and then increasingly the rhythm.he let out a grunt of approval. 

" Jesus Thorin so close" I uttered as my balls started tightening. 

And shot my load over the seat shouting his name as I did. 

"I want you to take me, but we have no lube" I moaned getting frustrated. 

He smiled 

He pulled at my trousers and underwear and helped me remove them, then removed his this proved to be quite awkward but after a few failed attempts we managed it. 

he smiled and put his fingers to my lips. 

" suck and make sure you get them nice and wet" he instructed me running his other hand through my hair. 

I twirled the digits around my mouth slowly making sure to get them as moist as I could. 

" holy shit you look so hot like that" thorin gasped as I thrust his fingers in and out my mouth. 

He removed them from my mouth and I flipped over I led the front part of my body against the seat with my ass raised in the air it was rather uncomfortable but would have to do.Thorin wraped his left arm around to support my hip. 

He brought his tongue down to the hole and licked the Rim to make it moist he brought a finger down to my entrance and gently pushed in and started thrusting in and out of my hole. 

I let out a groin of pleasure, as he penetrated my hole, he added another which my body accepted pretty much straight away I could feel his fingers thrusting In and out trying to find my pleasure spot he curled his fingers. 

"Jesus oh my god " I groaned as he brought his fingers down on my spot and I gave in to absolute pleasure moaning and bucked my hips back onto his fingers, so they would go deeper and finger fuck me harder. I could feel myself losing all sense of reality. " shit shit shit need your cock" I begged I was rock hard again 

He helped me onto my back and brought his cock to be mouth and he begin trusting in, I could taste his precome on my tongue as I got his cock nice and wet. He let out a groan of pleasure as I took his cock deeper in my mouth. 

He looked at my dick smiled and purred"round two you minx" into my ear. 

He removed him self For my mouth and helped me back to my previous position with my arse in the air. 

He brought his cock to my entrance. 

" please thorin now I Need you to fuck me" I cried desperately pushing back trying to impale myself on his shaft. 

He pushed his cock into my entrance in one quick thrust, and then began to move slowly. 

" faster oh God faster" I moaned. 

He begin. To thrust hard and deep and brought one of his hands to my cock and began running it up and down in the same rhythm as he thrust into me , his movements became. Erotic and he came into Me crying my name. 

I felt myself come un done at his cry and came for a second time all over his hand and my back seat. 

We collapsed in a heap of sticky mess and sweat. 

" I think we will have to catch a later screening of the film " thorin joked. 

I let a giggle and began to catch my breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed


	24. what if?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey down to the west country of england to visit thorins family.

"Sweetheart were going to be late" I called, as kili thumbled with his suit case one last time.

I could tell he was nervous he had been quiet since we got up, had hardly eaten anything and was smoking like a train I tried reassuring him but it didn't seem to help just make him worry more.

He came in the living and was a little pale.

" you should really eat something baby, even if it's just a snicker or something" I tried to coax him worried.

"I'm not hungry, maybe you should go without me" he uttered, for the tenth time in that many minutes.He started fiddling with the hem of his shirt

" kili you will be fine, I will be with you, they will love you" I soothed, taking his hands in mine.

" but what if..

"It won't " I said gently.

"But what if they

"They won't" I laughed.

He smiled at me and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Are you ready to go" I inquired smiling at him.

He took two deep breaths " as..as really as I'm going to be" He stuttered, and walked towards the door with his weekend bag.

I kissed his cheek and grabbed his bag and put it in the boot it.

It was a warm day so we decided to put the roof down, I could feel the lovely warmth on my face which made me happy I had brought a soft top car.

"Come on sexy" I beamed opening his door for him, we both got in and I started the engine.

We drove through the streets of london, kili started to relax and was humming along to power rock which was the station I always had tuned in.

when November rain came on he belted out the song at the top of his voice and started to air guitar to Slash's rift, making me laugh so much I nearly crashed into the lorry in front of me, due to laughing so much.

As we hit the motorway, he turned to me and pouting at me " thorin I'm hungry" he moaned.

I rolled my eyes and pulled a snicker out of my pocket and handed it to him.

" thank you " he said gratefully and took down the snicker in two mouthfuls.

Five minutes late he turned around and widened his eyes making them look sad "thorin I'm still hungry" he muttered.

I let out a sigh and looked at the sign five miles to fleet service's

" if you shut up for the next five miles about being hungry I will buy you a McDonalds" I bribed feeling like I was sat next to a child and not a thirty year old man.l

He pretended to zip his lips and remained quiet until we got to the service station.

"What would you like to eat a kids meal" I joked.

" can I have a chicken legend meal large with a strawberry milkshake and a flurry please?" He asked looking at me sweetly.

" how the hell are you so skinny" I muttered ordering the meal.

We walked back to the car with our food and decided to eat here before we continued our journey.

There were two boys running around the car park Chasing after each other one had long brown hair and was trying to run away from his slightly older brother who had long hair with plaits in it. they seemed so happy, and were chuckling and laughing, and clearly enjoying each other's company.

Kili let out a sigh and turned his head to stop watching them. His mood seemed to darkened a little.

" you ok sweetheart" I asked gently.

" yeah just thinking about fee we used to be like that " he answered in a low tone.

I didn't really know what to say so just gave him a sympathetic look.

" sorry this is suppose to be a fun trip" He apologized, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

I started the car and within a couple of minutes he was back to his normal self.

We both starting singing our hearts out when summer of 69 came on the radio, smiling at each other as we sung our song, for if it wasn't for that song things could be alot different now and I would probably driving down to Somerset on my own bored out of mind instead I was sat by the man I loved, and wanted to be with forever.

As we drove in to Wiltshire we went past stone henge kili gasped in delight at the stones.

" what are they doing there" he asked.

" clearly you didn't pay attention in history at school" I joked.

" know one knows how or why they are there some people believe they were put there by the Romans and it is an ancient Roman temple, but people believe it is a pagan healing temple, there are many theory's each wilder than thenlast" I told him teacher mode coming out.

I saw the amazement as he looked at the bluestone rocks I remember how I felt when I first saw them, they were of all different shapes and sizes some of them seem to be crumbling well some looked like they had only just been put there, they looked like at one time they all slotted together.

" it's beautiful" he said in awe.

We drove a little further on and hit Somerset there were empty green fields and hills for miles and you could smell the fresh non paluted air. 

" I see why people like the country now it truly is an wonderful place" he said beaming at me.

Then it hit me.

" kili is this the first time you have been to the country?" I asked

He flushed red " yes I have only ever been in city's" he admitted.

" I'm so glad you like it" I beamed

I was thrilled at the wonder on his face as he looked at the old houses we past and at the patchwork of different colour fields, he smiled as he saw a girl riding on a horse, and people with dogs covered in mud. 

I took the turning for Glastonbury.

" isn't this where the festival is " he asked excited.

" it is my sister and her family live on a farm in Glastonbury.

A few minutes later I pulled up outside there house.

It was a huge old farm house made of limestone brick, with a large court yard, there were stable blocks and two other out buildings, there was creeping ivy over the house and huge bay Windows. There were cows in the surrounding fields and a sheep too, my sister had a chicken coop outside the front door and hanging baskets. And a row of wellington boots too.

" welcome to bridge farm" I announced.


	25. uncle thorin and prince kili

"Uncle Thorin" three voices shouted and I watched as they ran across the court yard to there uncle. He picked the two youngest up while the oldest hugged his leg.

" mummy says you have got a prince charming are you uncle thorins prince? she asked looking at me while she cuddled her uncle.

She had golden blonde hair which was tied up in two pig tails, and had a large mole or her cheek with freckles around it she was the youngest out of the group,she had bright pink jeans on and a purple hooded top.

" I am,you must be his princess, what's your name princess?" I asked getting onto my knees and bowing to her.

She let out a giggle " I'm princess Lexi and I'm three" she said holding up three fingers, and this my brother Cole and my cousin brom" she said pointing to the two boys.

Her brother had the same shade of blonde hair but had it spiked up, he had piercing blue eyes and wore black glasses and was wearing jeans and a red sweatshirt.

Brom had flaming long red hair he was the oldest, he had brown eyes and was quite tall for his age he was wearing black trousers and grey hoodie and had a plastic bow and arrow set in his hand.

" your highnesses" I said and bowed to them both.

I looked at Thorin he had the biggest grin across his face I knew his niece and nephew's ment the world to him.

"And what we can call you sir we have yet to hear your name" brom inquired with a massive smile on his face.

" this is price kili" thorin introduced me.

"At your service" I called bowing to each of them in turn.

"Prince kili we are on a quest to regain our homeland, will you aid us" Cole asked grabbing my hand.

" I shall" I smiled as Cole held one hand and lexi who had jumped out of thorin's arms held the other. 

They led me to a large long grassed back garden with lots of trees in it, there were make shift targets of cans on barrels and tree stumps and a hung target from a tree. 

Brom asked me" Prince kili what is your chosen weapon axe and then point to some plastic axes, sword and pointed to some wooden toy swords or bow and pointed to another plastic bow and arrow kit. 

" I choose to be an archer" I answered taking the bow and arrow from the ground. 

" and what about king thorin, what weapon does king Thorin choose" lexi asked her uncle excitedly. 

" king thorin chooses no weapon and will let his princes and of course princess fight in his honour. He said laughing.

His statement was met by a load of groans including my own as he sat under a near by tree and watched.

" Prince kili you have taken up the role of archer in our ranks as such you must prove you skill with your weapon, your target is this one" Cole commanded pointing to the target on the tree" .

I stepped in clear view of the target got into the familiar position although it had been over twelve years since I had last held a bow and arrow in my hand, i narrowed my eyes and pulled The string back and aimed, and got it dead centre.

The children clapped I looked at thorin and his jaw had dropped in shock.

"That's not the first time you have shot an arrow is it" a friendly voice said in my ear.

I turned around to see a tall man with long flaming red hair tied in a ponytail, he had grey eyes the same grey as thorins so I realised this must be his brother.

" daddy this is uncle thorins prince kili" brom called running up to his father.

Thorin walked forward to embrace his younger brother in greeting.

" frerin this is kili" he beamed introducing me, we shook hands.

" uncle you have to bow he's a prince" lexi reprimanded him.

" where are my manners I'm so sorry prince kili" he joked bowing.

" your forgiven" I smiled.

" so why did I not know I was dating a expert marksman" thorin quizzed smiling.

" I..I haven't held a bow and arrow in years I used to compete in tournaments as a child" I stuttered nervously.

"Would you like to try with my longbow" frerin offered handing me his bow which was lent against a near by tree.

" I'm used to a recurve bow but I'll try my best" I said excepting the bow and aiming at the target and getting a dead centre bulls eye.

" Jesus I find that so hot my sexy prince " thorin purred quietly in my ear so the rest of his family couldn't hear.

" sorry prince kili and myself need to unpack" he told his niece and nephew and guided me towards he house by my hand, he lead me up the stairs to a bedroom and locked the door behind us. 

He brought me into a passionate kiss.

" my sexy little archer" he whispered passion in his voice.

and we were both in immense pleasure for the next couple of hours.


	26. the misty mountains cold

We led there catching our breath kili had his head rested on my chest, his wild brown hair spread across it.I lent down and kissed the top of his head and looked at my watch.

"Shit kili we better get dressed, my sister will be serving dinner in about half an hour." I informed him.

" can't we just stay a little longer you are so comfortable baby" he moaned tucking his head into my chest and pulling the duvet higher. 

"No sweetness I'm sorry, my mum will be wondering where I have got to anyway" I told him very reluctantly sitting up. 

" oh..oh God I forgot about that" he stuttered suddenly becoming nervous. 

" it will be fine, frerin and the kids really liked you, so why shouldn't my sister and mum?" I asked him gently. 

"Your sure there like me?" He asked putting on a grey shirt and buttoning it wrong with nerves. "Hundred per cent" I reassured him re- doing his buttons 

Once we were both dressed correctly I led him out of the room by his hand down the old oak staircase to the kitchen.

It was a large kitchen with a black Arga, with cupboards that were painted white with purple flowers, it had a large solid wooden table with wooden benches around the table. 

I could smell freshly cooked Irish sausages and bacon as we entered I knew this would be where my mother and sister would be

I kept hold of his hand and gave It a gentle squeeze reassuringly.

" hi" I called in greeting.

they both turned to look at me Dis ran over and gave me a huge hug and I walked over to my mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek, then walked back over to kili and took his hand.

"This is my boyfriend kili, kili this is my mother rose, and my sister Dis" I beamed introducing him.

He walked over to dis and held out his hand and was brought into a bone crushing hug.

" pleased to meet you, my brother hasn't stopped talking about you" she beamed friendly. 

He then went over to my mother and she done exactly the same as dis.

" Is..Is there anything I can do to help with dinner" kili stuttered nervously.

" no deary your our guest" my mum told him and grabbed his hand giving it a squeeze. 

Kili began to look at ease and I felt a huge wave of love for my mother, she had a knack at putting people at ease. 

" why don't we going in the living room sweetheart" I a suggested we walked out the kitchen and into the room next door which was the large living room it was painted in cream and had a terracotta sofas and a red patterned carpet. I looked at kili's gaze and smiled when I saw him looking at a old wooden acoustic guitar that was kept in the corner.

" go ahead" I smiled as he walked towards the guitar and picked up and automatically started tuning it.

"Can you play prince kili" brom quizzed excitedly watching kili.

" a little " he smiled.

I let out a sigh at kili's modesty " he's fantastic brom" I told him truthfully.

" Would you play us a song prince kili" he asked excitedly

at this frerin, dis and my mum all came into the room as I had told them about his talent when I asked them if they would mind me giving him dad's guitar.

"Ok this is one my dad used to sing" he told us.

He closed his eyes as I had noticed he normally does before performing then opened his mouth and sang

Far over the Misty Mountains cold  
To dungeons deep and caverns old  
We must away ere break of day,  
To find our long-forgotten gold

The pines were roaring on the height  
The winds were moaning in the night  
The fire was red, it flaming spread  
The trees like torches blazed with light

After he was finished I could fill the emotion in the room, our father had also sung it to us growing up and kili had sung it so beautifully.

I looked at my brother and saw him wipe his eyes with the back of his hand.

I then looked over at dis and my mother they both had tears in there eyes but were smiling.

" that was beautiful kili, would you do us the honour at perform at mine and my husband's party tomorrow" she asked taking his hand.

"I would be honoured" he smiled.

A few minutes later we all sat around the kitchen table eating fried bread, sausages, bacon, a fried egg, baked beans and mushrooms.

" so how are you liking Somerset so far dear" my mother asked kili.

" it's beautiful, I love how quiet it is" he replied taking a bite out of the sausage dinner went by smoothly with my mother and dis quizzing kili.

Then they all moved to the living room after dinner.

" baby is there anywhere I can go for a quick smoke" he whispered.

" I'll join you sweetheart" I beamed.

And held his hand we both walked out the back door and sat under the tree and sparked up.

" you have the lovest family thorin" he told me taking a drag.

The night was quiet and the sky was filled with stars shining brightly.

" my nieces and nephews really seem to like you" I praised

" I wish I had a family like you thorin you are blessed" he told me and wrapped his arm around my waist.

" there you family too as long as we're together" I informed him kissing his head.

" I like the country it's so peaceful, I feel like there's know one here to judge anything about us. It's just us and its wonderful" he said happily snuggling into me.

We finished our cigarettes in silence, I got up held my hand out and we walked back in to the house.


	27. fili

The party was huge, it was taking place in an old pub called the highway man it was a large white pub with a thatched roof, it had many hanging baskets outside, and large children's play area, it had a decked area with wooden benches. I could hear the cords of a guitars, the beam of the drums and the vocals of the band before you even entered the pub.

We walked in and it was crowded everyone was in there costumes.

The atmosphere was a happy one everyone seemed in a good mood and were wishing dis and her husband a happy anniversary.

" oh my God some of these costumes are amazing" I said in awe as someone walked past dressed as a skeleton.

" you make an amazing Jon bon jovi" he praised running his fingers through the big blonde shaggy permed wig that I had held on with a bandanna keeping it in place.

" and you make a sexy Alice cooper" I said kissing his neck.

Cole ran up to us dressed in an batman costume,he was with another boy with blonde shoulder length hair and blue eyes dressed as a knight he looked somewhat familiar but i  
Couldn't place my finger on why.

" I'm batman" he shouted running towards thorin, and cuddling his leg.

"Well if your batman then where's robin?" He joked ruffling his nephews hair.

" He's helping his daddy at the bar" he pointed to the bar and there was brom dressed as robin.

The boy turned to me " prince kili, when are you going to sing, I've been telling my Friends about my uncle's singing prince" he bubbled excitedly.

" let us sit down Cole" thorin chuckled.

We walked over to the oak bar and ordered two cokes, then joined the rest of the family at there table.

Frerin was dressed as a zombie, with fake blood around and his mouth and running down his cheeks he had, black around his face and a black suit with right rips in it.

Dis was dressed as a vampire with fake fangs slotted over her teeth and a black dress and cape, she was holding lexi who had a Cinderella costume on compete with tiarra.

Andy dis husband was dressed as a mummie with bandages wrapped around his head and arms.

And thorins mum mad scientist in a long white coat and a black and grey wig.

We chatted for a few mintutes then the band went as quiet and left the stage.

" kili it's all yours dis" smiled I walked towards the stage nerves bubbling inside. I had sang in front of bigger crowds but this was thorins family and there Friends I picked up the guitar that the guitarist had kindly let me burrow.

The pub went quiet and all attention was directed at me.

" I'd... I'd just like to wish dis and Andy a happy anniversary and I hope there's many years to come" I stuttered. 

Everyone clapped.

"They have asked me if I would mind performing a song, so here it is this song is called wild as the wind.

I closed my eyes and cleared my mind letting the emotions of the song take over me, I thought of thorin of what he meant to me and how I would feel if I lost him I opened my eyes and begin to play the intro and opened my mouth and began to sing.

" I tried to make you happy  
You know I tried so hard to be  
What you hoped that I would be  
I gave you what wanted  
God couldn't give you what you need  
You wanted more from me  
Than I could ever be  
You wanted heart and soul  
But you didn't know, baby 

Wild, wild is the wind  
That takes me away from you  
Cold is the night without your love  
To see me through  
Wild, wild is the wind  
That blows through my heart 

Wild is the wind,  
Wild is the wind  
You got to understand, baby  
Wild is the wind 

You need someone to hold you  
Somebody to be there night and day  
Someone to kiss your fears away  
I just went on pretending  
Too weak, too proud, too tough to say  
I couldn't be the one  
To make your dreams come true  
That's why I had to run  
Though I needed you, baby 

Wild, wild is the wind  
That takes me away from you  
Cold is the night without your love  
To see me through, baby  
Wild, wild is the wind  
That blows through my heart tonight  
That tears us apart 

Wild is the wind,  
Wild is the wind  
You got to understand, baby  
Wild is the wind 

 

Maybe a better man  
Would live and die for you  
Baby, a better man would  
Never say goodbye to you 

Wild, wild is the wind  
That takes me away from you  
Cold is the night without your love  
To see me through, baby  
Wild, wild is the wind  
That blows through my heart tonight  
That tears us apart 

Wild is the wind,  
Wild is the wind  
You got to understand, baby  
Wild is the wind"

I finished and the room erupted in applause.

I walked over to thorin And he pulled me into a massive hug.

"That was amazing sweetheart" he praised.

I could feel myself going Scarlett.

" thank you" I beamed.

" you have a raw talent mate" frerin commended.

I thanked him. 

Thorin was talking to his mum so I decided to give him some family time and walked outside for a cigarette, I sparked up and took a drag.

" What are you doing here kili" a voice I instantly recognised asked.

I swang around and was met with the piercing blue eyes of my brother, he had his long blonde hair tied in a bun and was dressed in a karate outfit, it had been years but he looked the same 

" fili oh..oh my God" I stuttered, in pure shock.

" you can cut that out we both know you haven't stuttered since you were ten" fili snapped.

" fili Jesus fili" I moved towards him and reached out to embrace him he stepped back.

" Dont touch me" he said coldly.

I lowered my arms.

" why are you here?" He thundered.

Hurt rushed over me, he looked at me as If I was nothing.

" I..I came with my partner" I whispered.

Just then the little boy from earlier,the boy that familiar ran over to fili.

" daddy can I have some sweets" he asked.

This was brothers son, my nephew. I had a nephew and didn't even know it. I felt raw pain and hurt wrenth through my body.I felt like I had been stabbed.

" mummy has them she's in side" he told his son running a protective hand through his sons hair.

The blonde boy ran back in side.

" I'm..I'm an uncle" I stuttered.

" no, have no brother" he growled.

Tears filled my eyes, I felt sick and dizzy and felt myself begin to shake.

"Leave" he commanded, giving me daggers.

How could he be so cold, so cruel.

" fili..fili please I'm your brother" I pleaded.

" my brother is dead, he died thirteen years ago" he uttered hatred in his eyes.

" no..no fili" I wept.

" if you care about anyone here you will leave and never come back" he uttered.

"Kili" frerin said behind me.

I turned around and barged past him and ran out of the car park and into the night tears streaming down my face.


	28. He's not dangerous

"WHAT" I shouted when frerin told me that he had overheard kili being told to leave.

Anger and rage penetrated my body I marched over to Andy's best Friend I wanted to know what his problem was.

" What did you say to my boyfriend to upset him" I demanded, trying to resist the urge to hit him.

" your boyfriend?" he asked looking at me confused.

" yes my kili" I thundered.

The room went silent and everything went quiet, but I didn't care.

" I didn't even know he was gay" he muttered to himself.

"Why would you ..." I started then it all clicked in to place how had I not realised when I heard kili say his brother was called fili.

I felt my body begin to shake I had known this man for years, the man that had turned his back on his brother, this man had caused the person I loved so much pain.

" yes your brother kili" I shouted in fury.

He paled and looked like he was about to be sick.

" how do you know that " he spoke in a low voice.

" He told me when he woke up screaming, and crying your name out" I snarled.

"Thorin calm down, just breath" frerin whispered grabbing a stern grip on my shoulder.

" do you even care what he has been through, what he is still going through, and even after everything you have done to him he still loves you" I growled.

He shuffled uncomfortably, and a flicker of guilt showed on his face.

"You don't know who he is, what he is capable of" he stated.

" I know exactly who he is he's kind, caring, loving, generous, talented , loyal and for giving and he could not hurt a fly.

" he beat someone and paralysed them" he stated glaring at me.

" he was seventeen years old and just lost both his parents, you turned your back on him and ran like a coward. Do you know the day I first met him he was being beaten and didn't even try to stop it because he was scared he would hurt someone, think what you want about him but I love him" I declared loud enough for the pub to here.

"You are better off with out him" he said sternly. 

this made me snap I could feel myself lunge for him, my brother was holding on to my shoulders to stop me flooring him, I wanted to punch him make him suffer. 

" yeah he thinks that too that's why he tried to kill himself twice" I hissed

At this he began to pale and shake. 

"He did what " he mumbled

" yeah he thinks he is a burden to everyone, I swear if anything happens to my kili I'll make what he done look trival and that is not a threat that is a promise" I thundered

I turned on my heel and left the pub with my brother following. 

I turned to frerin 

" I need to find him, and fast, he has been known to self harm too. I can't lose him frerin I cant. Will you help me" I asked facing him.

" of course as long as he is with you he is family" he replied.

Dis came storming out of the pub and thundering up to me she brought her hand back and slapped me hard across the face.

I could feel the heat where her hand had made contact with my cheek, it was beginning to sting and I was pretty sure I would have a hand mark bruse there for the next few days. 

" how could you bring someone dangerous into my home near my children" she bellowed.

" he isn't fucking dangerous dis, do you think I'd be with someone like that, he couldn't hurt anyone" I snarled.

We just stood glaring at each other.

"Thorin we need to find kili" Frerin whispered in my ear giving my shoulder a squeeze.

"Once I find kili, we're go home don't worry I don't think we will back for a long time" I stated.

her face began to soften.

" I don't want you to keep away. your Cole and lexi's uncle" she stated.

" but you don't want the man I love near them yeah, but before you knew he had a past your were prasing how lovely he was." I snarled.

"It's not that I don't like him thorin..." she began to explain.

" but you don't trust me when I tell you he's not dangerous" I thundered. 

There was silence, I turned my back on her and looked at frerin.

" he will be either trying to get a train or a bus as he hasn't got enough money for a taxi. I told him hurriedly. 

"I'll check the farm" dis offered I just nodded. 

"I'll take the train" frerin said a look of determination on his face.

"I'll take the buses then, any one finds him we ring the others straight away" I ordered.

" I will help too" a voice from behind me called. 

And I turned around to see fili.

I glared at his face, this was all his fault and I hated him for it, but he was kili's brother and we needed all the help we could get.

" fine but you come with me" I stated coldly.


	29. leaving

I sat on the Bench my eyes were red due to crying but I had know more tears to cry. My brothers words just kept repeating around my head and he was right thorin could do so much better than me he deserved someone who was normal who didn't wake up in the night with nightmares and who didn't freak out at being locked in a room who didn't slit there wrists and who had amazing career. Someone he didn't have to worry about there past coming up and he could be proud of.

I unzipped my back pack and to out a smoke and looked at the clock my train wasn't due for another fifteen minutes so had plenty of time for a cigarette.

I took out my pen and notebook and decided It would be easier to say goodbye to thorin via a letter, I began to write. After a couple of minutes I stopped and re-read the letter.

Dear Thorin

I writing this rather than saying it because it's too painful.you deserve so much more than me. You deserve someone you can be proud of. I love you so much that's why I have to go away. Everything I touch goes to shit and I will not wreck your life. I will never forget you, your my one, the only person I have and will ever love, I gave you my first kiss and I gave you my last. I will always think of you everyday.i want you to find someone worth your love, who makes you happy. I will always love you. Always and forever kili x 

I page was spotted with my tears, I am ripped of the letter off my note page, and found the lyrics for love is free. That seemed like so long ago but it wasn't even a month.I sat back down and curled my knees up to my face, I could feel my body begin to shake.

I tried to calm my breathing I need a plan.i knew thorin would follow me. He loved me as much as I loved him that I knew was true and what ever happened know one could take that away from me.

In time his feelings would fade and turn into nothing. That almost killed me but I knew it had to happen, the thought of thorin belonging with someone else ripped me up but that had to happen too.

I knew I was going to catch a ferrie from Liverpool to Dublin but the rest would be just luck, i had always thought about starting a new life in Dublin. But the thought of never seeing thorin again made me want to cry.

I could feel tears running down my face, I didn't want to leave but fili had been right. It was the best thing I could do for thorin. I took out my phone that I had put on silence I had 18 missed calls and 5 texts and 4 voice messages all from thorin. I looked at my phone wallpaper which was a selfie of the two of us.

I sent thorin a quick text with the words *sorry x

Then turned off the phone as it started to ring.

The train pulled up I picked up my stuff to get on the train. 

I heard a voice shouting at the top of his voice "kili wait" 

I got on the train quickly. And it started to move leaving frerin on the platform watching the train. I just put my face in to my knees and sobbed.


	30. finding kili

Frerin was driving due to the fact I kept getting mild panic attacks. Frerin had found out that the train was heading to charing cross London which was near the flat, hope filled me up that he was going home. 

The text message from him just made me want to get to him faster what if he had done something stupid. I couldn't live with out him.

A nervous voice cut through my thoughts " so how long have you been together" fili asked curiously. 

"Not long but we were made to be together" I answered that was one thing I was certain of.

"You said that he tried to kill himself when?" he asked with concern.

" It really wasn't my place to tell anyone that but it was when he was inside " I uttered feeling guilty. 

" what did he do?" He asked quietly.

" he tried to hang himself the first time, the second time he tied a shoe lace around his neck and pulled tight" I could feel myself getting angry at fili again he was his brother he should of been there for him, I took some deep breaths to try and calm.

I looked out the window as we drove past stone henge and remembered kili's delight at the stones, I felt a silent tear roll down my face.

All I wanted was him safe in my arm's, singing me a song or just kissing my neck.

I pulled out my phone for the millionth time I called kili's phone, cut through straight to answer phone. I Chucked my phone in frustration. 

And buried my face in my arms, It felt like he had been away from me days not hours, I felt a gentle arm on my shoulder and looked up to see fili giving me look of concern. 

He looked at my wrist and paled " that's my father's watch, kili must really love you to part with it" he exclaimed and I could see the panic in his eyes. 

" Shit what have I done" he said between gasps of breath. 

I looked at fili his face had gone chalk white and he looked like he might vomit. 

"What did you say to him" i asked sternly. 

The blonde just shock his head looking horrified. 

"We need to know what you said to him" I said a little more gently. 

" I oh shit I told him that he was dead to me and if he really cared about anyone he would leave and never come back you don't think he would do anything stupid" he uttered I could see the remorse in his face. 

He was shaking and looked close to tears." I would never forgive myself if he..." 

"Dont even think it" I interrupted. 

He looked at his lap, and started fiddling with them hem of his shirt kili did that and in this moment he looked so much like his brother. 

I brought out a smoke and sparked up I usually didn't like smoking in my car but fuck it I was too stressed not too, I offered one to fili. 

" I don't smoke but thank you" he politely decined. 

"So what do you love about my brother" he asked curiously. 

I gave a little laugh " would be quicker to answer what I don't love about him" 

"Ok what don't you love about him" he smiled. 

" he apologises for everything, even if it's not his fault, he thinks about every little thing too much, he often thinks because of his past that he is worthless, he doesn't get close to anyone he has no friends because he just puts up a shield around people. When I first met him he was working in a shitty coffee shop and he was allowing people to call him weirdo and just took it" I explained. 

" when he was younger he used to be so confident, all he used to do was play his guitar, we shared a room and I used to threaten to throw that guitar out the window and he would just laugh and say one day that guitar would make him a bucket load of money and then who would be sorry" he smiled lost in memory's. 

"What was he like as a child, he's never really spoken about it " I inquired. 

" he was a wild one never sat still always wanting to be outside. And cheeky too he had an answer for everything but when ma and pa died he changed just used to sit there quiet he didn't eat or sleep just sat in the chair at the kitchen." He recalled sadly.

" when we find him I hope you two will get a chance to work things out" I said sincerely. I did hope they could gain a relationship.

" do you think he would forgive me? " he asked looking at me hopefully. 

" kili will, he loves you your his big brother but you need to understand he has been through some horrible stuff in his time, I'm surprised he is still sane, it will take time" I told him reassuringly. 

Then my phone started ringing.i scrambled for my phone. It was dwalin. "Dwalin any news" I hurriedly asked. " he's in the house" he answered. " please do not let him leave" I pled. " I'm on it" he replied and hung up.


	31. He can do better

I unlocked the door and scrambled in, I knew thorin would know where I was now and couldn't face him. I hurried to the bedroom and changed out of the costume into a grey sweat shirt and jeans.

I glanced into the fall length mirror my eyes were bloodcshot and red due to so much crying, my colour had paled a lot it looked like I was ill,I picked up the brush on the counter beside me and brushed my mane into a bun. 

The photo's on the counter by the bed caught my eye, I walked over to them and picked up a photo of thorin stood In front of a large fountain, and pocketed it. I would get it copied and send it back to thorin. I just needed a picture of him to remind me I once had been happy and loved.

I felt tears prick the corner of my eyes, my eyes were all ready so sore and I could feel the corner of my eyes burning. No I told myself I could grieve for what I lost later I began putting all my stuff In a gym bag.

I took the letter out of pocket and placed it on the counter and the lyrics for love is free. Please forgive me thorin,I couldn't help tears from falling from my eyes. I was doing this so he could have the life he deserved. But the pain I felt was unbearable, I felt sick and dizzy i ran to the bathroom wrenching. 

After the dizziness had gone I slung my bag over my shoulder, took one last look around the room, then couldn't bare looking any longer i walked tothe hall and to the front door it was locked.

Then I heard a familiar voice from behind me " I won't let you run away" it was not threatening nor angry just calm 

I whizzed around and saw dwalin stood in the door way for the kitchen. 

" Dwalin open the door" I said calmly although I could already feel my self begin to panic, the last time I had been locked anywhere had been that day in the office. 

"If you don't want to be with thorin that's fine, but at least have the guts to break his heart face to face, because that's what it will do is break his heart" he stated with no hint of any emotion. 

he walked over to an arm chair and sat down. 

I ran to the back door and rattle the handle he had locked this too and taken the keys, i returned back to living room and glared at dwalin. 

" you can glare all you like, but I'm not unlocking the doors, you might as well sit down" he Stated pointing to another arm chair. 

I walked to the chair and sat down. 

We were silent for a few minutes, it was a uncomfortably silence. Why couldn't this man understand I was doing it to save thorin. Save him from me and my crap choices in life. " why are you running away" he said in a low tone breaking the silence.

" I'm not running away" I snapped, anger flaring up.

" what do you call it then" he asked still calm.

" look he can do alot better than me and my baggage". I stated reaching for a cigarette, and lighting it.

" What the hell happened over the weekend?" He asked gently.

" I..I realised the truth, if I stay with thorin I will turn his life to shit everything I touch turns to shit, just please let me go" I pled.

 

" and what will you do if I do let you go, thorin will carry on looking for you, he loves you" he told me. 

" He..He will find someone else, someone who can make him happy" I stuttered lowering my head.

" He doesn't want anyone else, kili he wants you" he exclaimed finally losing his temper a little.

I sat in silence and curled my body to my arms and buried my face into my knee's, I felt physically and emotionally drained all I wanted to do was sleep or drink myself to oblivion so I didn't have to deal with the pain. It hurt me to know I was going to cause the man I loved so much hurt but I had too. 

I heard a bang on the coffee table which caused me to jump dwalin had placed a coffee in front of me, I didn't even realise he had left the room, I watched him sit down on the arm chair he gave me a smile.

" if you knew everything about me, knew the real me you would tell thorin to run a mile in the opposite direction" I uttered.

" you are in love anyone who see's you two together can see you are made for each other" he smiled.

" I do love him with all my heart" I confirmed.

" if you leave, he will fall to pieces, you will be breaking both your hearts" he had moved over to me and had a hand on my shoulder.

I felt tears roll down my face,I buried my face into dwalins jumper, and began to shake.

" it's not like I want to leave, but I will destroy everything" I uttered pulling myself away from Dwalin.

"Let him be the judge of that". Dwalin told me kindly.

I curled myself back up in a ball and allowed my eyes to close.

I woke up to the sound of a key in the front door.


	32. i dont need him

I walked into the room and looked over to see kili curled up into a ball his eyes were swollen and he looked a little scared.

Good I thought to myself I was both relieved he was ok and angry that he had ran off like that.

He jumped up out of the sofa and just stood there looking at me with his big Brown eyes.

I walked over to him and pulled him into a huge embrace, I was just so glad he was safe. I pulled away and tilted his face to look at mine.

" thank God your ok don't you ever run away from me again" I thundered.

He tried to lower his face to the ground but I tilted his head again.

" that text had me worried sick do you realise what I thought your a stupid fucking idiot" he growled.

I saw him flinch as I said that.

"Sorry" he uttered, tears pricked the corner of his eyes.

I felt my anger ebb away. 

" I thought I'd lost you" I was on the verge of tears now and my voice broke.

I looked at dwalin who was sat on the sofa, he smiled at me.

" thank you so much for stopping him do anything " I said to dwalin.

He just beamed at me.

" I'm..im not a child" kili snapped.

I turned back to him, and could feel my anger beginning to return.

" yeah well how you acted today was reckless and stupid your acting like a boy so I'll treat you like one " I shouted. He thundered out of the room and into the bedroom slamming the bedroom door behind him 

I instantly regretted shouting at him and followed him to the bedroom.

I opened the door and he was led on the bed with his face in a pillow.

" I should of just gone straight to the ferrie I should never of come back here" he sobbed.

"Kili what ferrie" I asked in a calmer tone I walked over to the bed and ran my fingers through his hair.

He just stayed silent I then noticed the letter on the bedside cabinet I walked over and read the letter. I could feel tears run Down my face as I read it, he had planned to leave me my heart felt like it was going to break.

"You..you were going leave me" I uttered I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach.

" you can do better than a fuck up like me, I can't even run away properly" he sobbed into the pillow.

"You were going to leave me" I repeated, feeling pain fill me up inside.

He pulled his face away from the pillow, and looked at my face he had tears rolling down his cheeks.

" do you honestly think I wanted to leave you, your the best thing to ever happen to me, do you think I want to hurt you" he said staring at me.

"Where were you going to go" I asked sternly.

" Dublin" he replied. 

"You could walk away this easy" I stated I felt numb.

" do you think it's easy walking away from the only person who has ever loved me , the only person who actually cares if I live or die, the person who is the love of my life" he Said looking at me.

" and I love you but I need to understand what was going through that head of yours" I told him gently wrapping my arm around his shoulder.

" fili is right I should leave I just screw things up, I just cannot stand to see your life go to shit because of me." He  
Sobbed.

" You have made my life whole sweetheart, I don't think I could live if I lost you, you know I would of followed you right" I told him kissing his head.

" I know" he admitted kissing my neck.

" I hate fili he nearly wrecked our relationship, I always thought I needed him but I don't your the only one I need baby" he smiled kissing my lips.

Shit I thought fili was in my fucking house and kili had decided this now Jesus oh God, panic was starting to set in what had I done bringing him here.

" let's go in the living room I think I owe dwalin and frerin an apology" he beamed taking my hand.

"Kili I don't know how to tell you this but fili he's I took a gulp he's in our living room". I confessed.

"WHAT" kili bellowed.


	33. your no brother of mine

I thundered in to the living room my blood was boiling, Thorin was grabbing my arm.

" love calm down" he hurriedly said holding a tight grip on my arm.

Frerin and dwalin were sat on the sofa and looked up at me in alarm I hadn't been this angry in thirteen years since that day and that was the last time I had seen Fili since yesterday.

" Get the hell out" I bellowed at my brother.

" kee we need to talk" he said in a calm tone.

" I..I wanted to talk to you thirteen years ago and you disowned me, the last time I saw you, you had floored me and handcuffed me, what the hell has changed now" I snarled.

" I was wrong so wrong, thorin and I spoke on the way up here and I realised how much I have fucked up and failed you" he apologized, his blue eyes had widened and I could see fear in them, I felt a strong arm on my shoulder and dwalin had walked over and put his hand there.

" You were wrong is that all you can say, you told me I was dead to you, I was seventeen years old and scared out of my mind, because of you I missed my own parents funeral because I was not welcome i didn't even get a chance to say goodbye" I felt my eyes water.

" kili I was stupid, I should of been there for you I know that but we are brothers, I should of not reacted like that yesterday" he admitted, I could see tears in the corner of his eyes.

" You have know idea what I have been though, the press made me out to be some thug,that day I got sentenced I walked in to the courtroom look up at the stands for you and you weren't there, when they told me I was sentenced to four years imprisonment all I wanted was a hug, but you weren't there. I'm not even going to mention my time in prison because I'm back there most nights in dreams anyway. When I was released I went back to mum and dad's house to find you and you sold it, YOU FUCKING SOLD IT" I screamed I lunged forward rage filled me up, thorin has hold of my arm and dwalin had his arm around my chest I kept trying to get at my brother. 

" kili calm down, just calm down sweetheart" thorin soothed.

Frerin dashed of the sofa and grabbed my other arm. 

I felt myself beginning to calm, I had not thought about the day I went to my parents house for years. 

" I..i am thirty years old and covered in scars all over my arms, I needed you. If I just had someone to support me I would of at least had something to live for, do you know what it's like to be sat in a cell the walls closing in on you, everyone else being able to leave to see vistors I was in there for two years and know one came" I snarled, tears running down my face. 

"Kili I wish I could turn back time I was young I know it's not an excuse but I was. I want to start again, I want you to get to know your nephew Hayden" he pleaded. 

" You..You nearly cost me my relationship this is the first time in thirteen years I have been happy, actually let my guard down let someone in and you even try to fuck that up, and you want to start again?" I thundered trying to keep my breathing in check. 

" I know It will take time but please I want to get to know you again, your my baby brother." He uttered tears rolling Down his cheeks. 

" You said I was dead to you yesterday and that you had know brother, your right you don't, I don't ever want to see you again" I stated in an even tone. 

" You.. You don't mean that" he stuttered, I could see the pain in his face, and sadness in his eyes. 

" get out" I ordered turning my face from him. 

"No kee you can't" he cried. 

" get out before I throw you out" I threatened. 

He looked around and went to leave. 

" if..if you ever change your mind thorin has my number" he told me his voice broke. 

" goodbye fili" I said coldly. 

The second the door closed I dropped to the floor and weeped thorin knelt down and wrapped his arms around my shoulder. 

" shh it's ok sweetheart, it's ok, I love you, I'm here your ok" he soothed Frerin put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it and dwalin gave me comforting smile. 

And I just clung on to thorin and weept.


	34. happiest man in the world

I woke up and put my arms out to pull kili in tighter to me he had cried himself to sleep he tried not to let me see but I knew he had. I felt the empty space beside me, panic instantly surged through me and I was full awake in seconds.

I jumped out of bed and pulled my dressing gown around me, and hurried into the living room kili was sat in an arm chair with his back to me, playing the guitar. Instant relief washed over me followed sadness when I listened to the song he was singing but not in his usual way you could here the sadness and pain in his tone as he sang 

 

"Seems so far  
that I have gone down this road  
Only to find that it ends.  
But looking back  
There is one thing that I know  
I can't make it all alone again.

Cause I'm too weak to stand on my own  
But all I need is you.

So lead me  
Guide me  
Hold me  
Hide me in love  
With all that you are  
and all that you do.

Hear me  
Take me  
Mold me  
Break me oh God  
Just fill all of me  
As I fall into you.

Just catch me as I fall  
But all this time  
I have felt so alone  
Losing myself in my despair"

I had tears rolling Down my face, the song was so beautiful yet so chillingly sad. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders from behind he just lent his head against my arm, he had tear stains trailing down his face.

" that song it's beautiful did you write that" I asked.

He nodded, I moved around the front and knelt down in front of him and looked into his face. His eyes were heavy filled with sadness, and pain, he was shivering but didn't seem to notice.

"Sweetheart your shaking" I said taking my dressing gown of and wrapped it around his shoulders. 

He just sat there looking at me with those pain filled eyes.

" I wish we had never gone to Somerset" he told me numb

"me too baby me too" I whisper in his ear kissing his neck as I did. 

" everyone knows now, I've spent years trying to keep my past quiet and now a whole pub knows so do all your family and dwalin" he uttered putting his face in his hand. 

I shifted uncomfortable as I knew my out burst in the pub was a lot of it " sorry love" I apologized. 

" not your fault it's fili's " he said bitterly. 

" well maybe it's a good thing at least you don't have to worry about it coming out now, and you can just be you" I encouraged trying to spin it in a different light. 

" yeah I suppose that is true, but your sister how you said she reacted" he sighed. 

" she had know at some point" I reasoned. 

" she slapped you around the face because of me"he exclaimed and gently kissed my cheek. 

It was beginning to sting but I wasn't going to tell kili that. I reached for the cigarette pack and took two out one for kili and one for myself. 

He took the guitar off his lap and lent it against the chair. 

" thorin I'm so sorry for my actions over the last day I've been stupid and foolish, you mean so much to me" he gave he a little smile and run his hand along the side of my face. 

We just gazed into each other's eyes for a while. 

This was the guy I had been waiting for all my life, my soul mate, I didn't care what people thought about us he made me the happiest man in the world. 

I walked over to a box that I kept in the corner, it was one of my most prized possessions, it belonged to my father I walked back over to kili and got down on my knees. And opened the box 

"Kili I love you will you marry me" I found myself asking with a beam on my face sliding the ring on his finger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok did not even plan the ending of this chapter is just kind of happened


	35. i will

My heart was racing, I felt like my chest was going to burst, I cannot of heard right, I was well and truly speechless.

" I know we haven't known each long, and I know it must sound crazy, I never believed in love at first sight until I met you, I just know we are ment to be together forever and we will always be happy so kili Oakley will you marry me" he asked a second time.

I could burst with happiness, I didn't know it possible, my eyes filled with tears of joy, I jumped of the sofa knocking over the guitar as I jumped and leaped in to his arms the force caused us both to fall on the floor.

" of course I will marry you" I shrieked. We both just stayed on the floor rolling around in fits of laugher, I felt like nothing could ever cause me any pain again.

Frerin came running into the living room from the spare bedroom a look of panic on his face,with a vase in his hand as a weapon he saw us on the floor wrapped into each other's arms in stitches.

" what the hell is wrong with you two it's 4am I thought someone had broken in" he scowled.

Me and thorin just looked at vase and then at each other and started laughing harder, tears rolled down my face and my chest felt tight where I had laughed so much.

" baby brother do you think brom would like to be a page boy at my wedding" thorin asked through tears of laughter.

His scowl turned to a grin " I'm so happy for you both" and walked over to us holding out his hands to help us up we both looked at each other and pulled him down on the floor with us.

After several minutes of the three of us in fits of laughter we all managed to stop and sat In the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil.

" this causes for a celebration ill book a table at durins for tonight, thorin your welcome to bring brom and Ilona if she can get time of work" he said then turned to me " you will like Ilona she's lovely, as mad as a hatter but lovely" he beamed and grabbed a pen and paper to make a list. 

" what about dis?" Frerin asked nervously. 

I thought about what had happened between thorin and his sister, the had argued because of me and I needed to show her how wrong she was to think I could be dangerous. 

" We should invite her, her, Andy and the kids" I smiled. 

" are you sure" he asked with a concerned look on her face. 

" yeah as you said it's out in the open now" I said reassuringly.

"if that's what my fiancé wants that's what he will get" he smiled giving me a kiss.

"Jesus that sounds weird your my fiancé " I said testing on my tongue " my fiancé I kind of like the sound of that" I finished pulling him in for a hug.

He kissed me on the lips again and ran his finger through my mane of hair. 

" you are so cute it's sickening" frerin joked with a smile on his face. 

Thorin just smiled at him " pay back bitch I had to put up with it when you got engaged, now it's my turn" He then turned to me" is there anyone else you want there" he asked

It then dawned on me that I had know one, know to come to my own engagement party. I thought of my parents they would of loved thorin I began to think of the what if things had been different, and felt my self getting lost in painful memory's of the past.

" Sweetheart are you ok" thorin asked Interrupting my thoughts and bring me back to reality.

" I'm fine" I lied plastering a false smile on my face. 

" No your not" he said giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.

" honestly love it was just a stray thought" I Said 

" a stray thought that made you look so upset I can have have that what was it darling" he soothed stroking my hand

" I..I was just thinking how much my parents would of loved you I wish you could of known them, life is not fair" I told him bitterly.

" I would of loved to of meet them and thanked them for bringing you in to the world" he lovely said.

" I'm going to go back to bed and leave you two to it" frerin informed us and left the kitchen.

Thorin reached across cupped my face and kissed me gently on the lips.

" let's go back to our bed to celebrate" he purred and we left the kitchen.


	36. against the door

I held his hand and pulled him into the bedroom, the second the door was shut, I pushed him up to the door and gave him a devilish smile.

I held his arms above his head and brought him in for a passionate kiss.

" Jesus want you so bad" kili panted.

I grinned and brought my hand down to his clothed errection.

" So I see" I purred.

I began to rub at his clothed hard on I bent down and brought my lips down and began to kiss the visible bump, I brought my hands up and began stroking His cock through the pajama bottoms. .

" Thorin please" he groaned.

I grinned and untied the cord and began pulling down the bottoms with my teeth inch by inch teasing him once they were at his ankles he kicked them of I began licking his cock playfully looking at him the whole time he looked at my eyes and I was delighted to see his pupils had grown wider with lust.

I took his cock in my hand and let it slip through my hand a few times causing kili to let out a load cry of pleasure, I then took his cock into the warmth of my moist mouth, I brought my hands up and began to cup his balls and began massaging them.

I began lapping at my gorgeous fiancé shaft and running my tongue along his slit he put his hands in my hair and pulled him self deeper into the hotness of my mouth, I began deep throating His cock.

" fuck oh fuck" he moaned loudly.

I let out a smile under the cock and began sucking moving bobbing my mouth up and down his shaft, I moved my hand to his cock and began stroking His sex as well as sucking.

He thrust into my mouth gave a tug on my hair to warn me that he was about to come and came down my throat with a load cry of my name.

I let the spunk run down my throat and swallowed.

" you taste amazing sweetheart" I cooed giving one last lick of his cock.

He turned over pressed his hands on the door and moaned " thorin please take me" and looked me in the eyes.

I raised an eyebrow and gave him a grin.

" against the door?" I purred.

" Thorin please I need you" he pled. 

I brought my mouth up for a kiss and walked over to the bed side table and picked up our pot of lube.

I begin slicking up my fingers to prepair him.

" Thorin no lube just take me" he uttered.

I felt my mouth drop I was astounded he wanted to be taken dry it surprising made me even more aroused.

" babe are you sure it's going to hurt" I whispered gently planting a kiss behind his ear.

"thorin just take me now please I need you" he begged.

I nodded and lined myself up with his entrance and slowly breached him, he cried out.

"Sweetheart are you ok is this ok" I asked nervously.

" god it hurts but is so good move thorin please move" he begged again.

I began slow gentle movements he let out little gasps of pleasure and pain. Jesus he was tight so tight I began rolling my hips up trying to find his sweet spot. I knew when I had found it as he let out a huge cry of delight.

" my god that's amazing thorin your amazing" he called out banging the door.

I felt my balls clenching let out on last thrust and came into his hole. 

I trailed kisses down his neck then gently pulled out, he grabbed my hand and we walked over to the bed I got onto it and pulled him onto the mattress, and pulled him into and embrace he rested his head on my chest and his eyes began to get heavy, then he suddenly went bright red and put his face into his hand.

" oh god" he uttered laughing.

I just looked at him with a confused look on his face. 

" I was so loud and your fucking brother is in the next room" he gushed looking embrassed.

" breakfast could be interesting" I joked and kissed his forehead and allowed myself to drift of into a peaceful sleep.


	37. They don't know what it's like but I do

It was 11.30am Thorin had gone to work and Frerin and Myself were sat at the breakfast bar with a coffee and some biscuits going over the incident at the coffee shop for the twentieth time, I had explained exactly what had happened and he was writing it up on his laptop.

" Ok so if we work it right we should be able to get him for false imprisonment and will likely get more because of your closterphobia I thinking around 2500 to 8000" he told me typing away at his laptop.

I was astounded that It was so much " you serous" I stated .

" absolutely and it should be an easy case to win" he beamed looking at my face which was one of pure amazement.

That would make a huge difference I thought about all the worth while things a holiday for thorin and me, we could take thorins niece and nephews to Disney land they'd love it but top on my list was thorin and my wedding.

" that's amazing thank you so much for helping me" I smiled giving him a little hug.

" Your family now, we're be there for you through the good and bad" he told me giving my shoulder a squeeze

I felt my self get a little choked up with emotion it had been so long since I had felt like I belong and these people had excepted me open arms.

Then I suddenly remembered what me and thorin had done this morning and how noisy I was " er about the bad um sorry about my..my noise this morning" I gushed looking anywhere but at frerin. 

" ah don't worry I have already teased thorin about it its fine "he laughed.

He looked back to the laptop and brought up a new word document. 

" I'm going to form a letter to mr bagins explaining what proceeding you are taking against him, I will get you to read over what I have written and then if you are happy I will print it of you will sign the bottom and I will personally take this around to his shop" he told me, with a reassuring smile.

When I had meet frerin I could never imagine frerin as a lawyer he just seemed so laid back but he completely changed as he said that his jokey personality suddenly got serous.

He looked at my expression and gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 

" don't look so worried I'll do the stressful bits that's what you got me for" he smiled.

I suddenly thought about it and realised I couldn't pay Frerin.

" I'm...I'm really sorry but I can't afford to pay you" I blurted out.

" did I say anything about payment? No you have made my big brother so happy so no charge" he smiled at me. 

Then his phone beeped he checked his phone then smiled at me. 

" Ilona has managed to change her shift and can't wait to meet you" he annoced beaming at me. 

" that's. .that's great" I stuttered nervously. " your be fine" he reassured me picking up that I was feeling nervous. 

" So tell me what was thorin like as a child" I asked trying to my mind off how petrified I was to meet all of thorins friends. 

He put his hand into his pocket and took out a brown shabby wallet he opened it and pulled out a picture. 

It was a picture of a younger thorin around seven or eight years old. He had black messy hair what seemed to be pinned back. He was tall even then. He had freckles on his face and dirt on his nose he had a cheeky smile and had his arm around a younger red head boy who could only be Frerin with and equally cheeky grin. 

" he was a trouble maker and always seemed to be in trouble with father, he used to get me caught in his crazy plans and we spend most of our evenings over our father's knees" he chuckled getting drawn into memories. 

I smiled at the picture then walked over to re boil the kettle. 

" but I have never seen my brother so happy as he is with you, so thank you for making him happy" he said and gave me a hug. 

" no need to thank me I'm the one who is the luckiest guy in the world, I never thought I'd get the chance to be this happy" I admitted shyly. 

" kili I just want you to know I get it, I get what it's like to try to end your life to feel that low, know one who hasn't been there won't get it. But I have been there" he confessed. 

" what happened?" I asked shocked. 

" I was young and lot long qualified as a lawyer I was defending a man who was accused of murder, I believed him that he was innocent and he got proven innocent. A few weeks later I switched on the TV and there was his face dean o gorman, he had lost his temper and killed his four year old son. I felt so guilty over the death I went out and brought a cocktail of drugs and some vodka,once I had brought them I came back to my flat and took them and downed half a bottle of vodka, I must of been noisy because Ilona who was my neighbour broke down the door and saved my life that day, I owe my life to her and she is the best thing that has happened to me" he ended he had tears running down his cheek but a smile on his face. 

I had wrapped my arms around his shoulder at some point during frerin opening up to me but could not recall when.he wiped his eyes on his shirt. 

" does thorin know" I asked. 

" no only Ilona and now you" he answered. 

"Don't worry I won't tell anyone" I reassured him. 

Am went to finish making the coffee.


	38. cuddles and the party

I w alked up the path to our home after a very long And boring day at work all I could think about was kili. I had invited all the other teachers to my engagement party tonight, they had all been so happy for me and couldnt wait to meet kili all except balin.

balin had pulled me aside after I had annoced my engagement. And instead of congratulating me like everyone else. He scolded me in a low voice about how stupid I was being and that kili was making a fool of me.he was treating me like I was a child. The conversation had ended badly with me telling him to fuck off and keep his nose out of my business ending many years of friendship.

I unlocked the door with a smile plastered on my face and a top shop bag in my hand I have been shopping on my lunch break And I had spotted a long leather coat which was brown and would look gorgeous on kili I had also brought him a black checked shirt and some blue jeans. 

The house was empty frerin and Ilona had offered to decorate the restrant I felt a little un easy when kili didn't come bounding up to the door like usual, I could feel my heart begin to beat faster as I started to panic that he had done a runner.

I walked into my room and let out a small breath of relief and smiled at the sight on the bed. kili was asleep snuggled up in my dressing gown and hugging my pillow he had two large braids and pink and purple flowers in his hair which was the only sign that his niece and nephews had all ready been here.

I walked over and ran my fingers through his wild mane, and kissed his cheek. He started to stir and opened his eyes.

" Thorin" he smiled half a sleep and reached up and kissed my lips.

He moved the cushion away and grabbed hold of arms and pulled me onto the bed and cuddled into my body. 

" love you" he yawned bringing me closer and tucking his head into my chest.

He closed his eyes and snuggled into me tighter. 

" someone's cuddly tonight" I beamed wrapping my arms around him.

" I missed you baby" he confessed leaning up and kissing my cheek.

"Missed you too cuddles" I joked

He reached up for my hair and ran his fingers through it. I looked into his eyes and could see the glinting he had such beautiful eyes.

We led there for half an hour just wrapped in each others warm embrace, I opened my eyes reluctantly and gazed at my handsome man he looked adorable and had his hand in mine.

" Sweetheart we got to get up" I whispered in his ear kissing his earlobe.

"Nooooooo" he moaned clutching onto me more..

I let out a chuckle " we must my little dreamer can't throw a party with out the guests of honour" I said trying to coax him out of bed.

"screw them" he said grabbing my hand and pulling me back on the bed and pinning me playfully on my back on the bed and kissing behind my ear.

" no thanks but I'll screw you" I purred flirty.

" I've been very bad I need to be punished" he smiled flirtingly licking my ear.

" that you have my little minx" I said slapping his arse as he wiggled it in the air. " and you will be punished sexy but not until later" I added grabbing his arm and heaving him to legs.

He grumbled and groaned and muttered something about it being unfair and walked into the bathroom.

I let out a little laugh and walked over to the wardrobe and brought out a pair of indigo jeans and pulled out a plain blue shirt to team up with it and a black sports jacket and some black boots.

Kili came out of the bathroom in a better mood he had taken out the flowers but still kept the cute braids in his hair.

" I brought you a few presents sweetie" I told him proudly handing him the top shop bag. He smiled as he pulled out each item and put them on.

" I love them babe thanks so much" he beamed kissing my lips.

And he really did look hot in it. I was so lucky that he was mine and couldn't wait to show of the sexy man I had managed to bag to everyone.

An hour later we arrived at durins. Frerin and Ilona had done an amazing job there were solar lights out side and a congratulations banner. We walked up to the drive hand in hand I could smell cooking meats as we got nearer and heard the chatter of our guests.

We walked into the building and everyone started clapping as we walked in.

I looked around the restrant there were candles every where And loads of balloons shaped like hearts.

My mother rushed up to both of us and brought us both into a warm hug.

" congratulations I'm so happy for the both of you she said and planted a kiss on both of our cheeks, brought out a hankie and wiped her eyes which were filled with happy eyes as she smiled at us both.

Next was dis she walked fowards rather nervously.

" I have already apologised to kili this afternoon but I am so sorry for what I said to you both I didn't mean it" she apologised and had tears in her eyes.

" dis it's ok" I reassured and I really meant it. It just didn't seem important.

After a few minutes a live band began to play and everyone started to dance and enjoy the party.

Frerin and Ilona walked up to us she had her long wavy hair which she wore loose it was a brown in colour and had two plaits either side of her head. She wore a knee length black dress with a deep red cardigan and some gladiator sandals. It always made me smile when I saw her and Frerin together as she was at least two inches taller and made frerin look like a dwarf.

she gave me a massive hug as she reached us..

" It's been too long" she exclaimed you could hear her Dutch accent faintly come through when she spoke.

" this is my sister and law Ilona" I told kili when she released me from the hug.

" h...hi pleased to meet you" kili stuttered nervously holding out his hand.

she ignored his hand and brought him in for a huge hug as well.

" welcome to the family" she beamed kissing him on the cheek.

I then noticed a large wrapped box in my brothers hand and also another odd looking present. I raised my eyebrow at my brother wondering what the hell he had brought us .

" this is for you both but dont open until you are on your own" he warned handing me the box which was surprisingly light.

" and this is for you kili" he beamed handing over the object to my very red and embrassed looking fiancé.

"You..you shouldn't have" he stuttered excepting the gift.

He carefully unwrapped it to reveal a beautiful mahogany hand carved recurve bow, it had markings on it of birds and star symbols.

" It's. .its stunning, I never seen a bow like it thank you such much " he uttered in awe

Frerin just beamed at him clearly pleased that he had picked such a perfect gift.

" you and thorin will have to come up to Wales I have an artery range set up in the back garden" he beamed at the look on kili's face he looked like a child at Christmas and was inspecting the bow up and down.

" id like that" he smiled at frerin and Ilona.

Just then lexi, Cole and brom came running towards me and bounded into my arms.

" are you and prince kili really getting married" Cole quizzed excitedly.

" We are indeed" I chuckled as lexi let out a squal of delight.

" can I be a bridesmaid pretty please" she begged.

" of course you can princess" I told her kissing her cheek, and she bounced up and down with excitement.

" and boys would you like to be pageboys" I asked.

" yeah" they bubbled with excitement.

The rest of the party went by like a flash kili and myself had danced laughed and drunk far to much resorting in me leaving my car at the restrant and ordering a taxi, we weren't bladdered just both merry.

The box was on my lap and we decided it was the right time to open it, I nearly choked when I saw what was inside there was a variety of sex toys and other useful objects.

I looked at kili and saw a flirty glint in his eye.

" Well you did say that you needed to punish me" he whispered in my ear.


	39. toys and gags

The second the front door was shut I reached up for thorins face and kissed him hungrily. He dropped the box on the sofa and I dropped the bow. I reached for his sports coat and hastily undid the buttons whilst thorin reached for my new brown leather coat and did the same. He ran his hand under my shirt and began stroking my back. I grabbed his shirt and started to undo his button and began kissing his neck causing him to groan with want. 

I began to kiss around his nipples biting playfully and licking until they were rock hard and began licking and kissing down his chest, I put my hand down thorins trousers and Began rubbing his shaft causing him to groin and buckle his hips.

I gave him a devilish smile as he began to pant as I moved my hand up and down his hard cock.

He brought his hand into my Jeans and began to do the same to my shaft matching the pace perfectly we both began to moan at each others movements.

Then thorin grabbed my hand with his Free hand and brought me to a halt. And removed his hand from my trousers causing me to let out a frustrated moan 

" you have been naughty today I thought you seeked punishment" thorin purred at me and pulled my hand out of his trousers and led me to our bedroom with the box in his free hand.

" on the bed" Thorin ordered.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and began to kiss his neck. 

"Make me" I giggled licking behind his Ear. 

He gave me a wicked smile, then picked me up and walked over to the bed with me in his arms giggling all the way. 

" I can see your going to be a little rebel tonight" he uttered as I reached my hand down and cupped his bulge through his trousers. 

He lowered me carefully on the bed and I began to crawl towards him and started squeezing his ass, my god he had a lovely ass, I began to kiss up his lovely muscly arms.

He pulled my arm Away and I began pouting at him. 

" Strip my little minx" he commanded and turned to look through the box Chuckling To himself every now and again.

I took my trousers off and boxers and lead back on the bed. I brought my hands down to my shaft and began to stroke myself. Then I felt his piercing blue eyes on me and gave him an Innocent smile and continued with my movements.

" did I say you could stroke yourself" he asked leaning towards me.

I leant fowards and gave him a kiss on his lips.

" Put your hands out I obeyed and he pulled out a pair of fluffy pink hand cuffs from his back pocket and cuffed my hands together.

"Are you going to behave now my Tipsy Lovely?" he answered 

" nope" I replied and kissed his chest. 

" god you are naughty tonight sweetheart" he uttered as I began to lick his lower abs. 

He pushed me away and tutted " Oh kili I'm going to have to punish you more your not making things better for your self" he whispered in my ear. I just laughed merrily at him. 

He walked back over to the box and put a few objects aside and brought them back to the bed. 

He suddenly looked more serious " if there's anything you don't like snap your fingers ok baby" he asked looking in my eyes. 

I responded by leaning foward and giving him a cheeky kiss and nodding. 

I leant on my back and he tied my legs to the bed with some soft black leather straps he made sure I was spread wide so he could access my hole easy. 

He picked up a leather gag with a bit attached to it and looked at me with a smirk on his face. 

" clearly my brother heard you this morning and thinks you are too noisy" he laughed bringing up the gag to my face. 

I opened my mouth and allowed him to put the bit into my mouth it was made of silicone, thorin wrapped the leather around my head and did the buckle up at the back behind my head. 

He stepped back and looked me up and down our eyes locked and I could see the lust in his eyes. He licked his lips. 

" I will never get fed up with seeing you like that, all bound and waiting just for me" he purred in my ear. 

He began to slowly take the rest of his clothes of in a teasing way. I couldn't take my eyes of his beautiful toned body he was amazing I loved the way his hair draped down his back and the way his eyes said so much with out words. 

He caught my eyes watching him even though it was very uncomfortable in the position I was in I couldn't take my eyes off of him I was mesmerised. 

He walked back over to the bed and brought his lips down onto my shaft and began by licking the tip I let out a small groan and he looked up at me with those eyes which told me this was the exact reaction he wanted he took my cock fully into the heat of his mouth and began to suck he moved his tongue to the tip of my head and began to lap at it playfully. 

I cried out under the gag in pleasure at this and could feel myself begin to get excited, he twisted his tongue around my shaft and then began to repeat the process this felt like pure bliss as he got the right balance of suction and licking I could feel my balls tightening and he pulled of and picked up a black cock ring and placed it on the tip of my cock. I let out a frustrated groan as I felt the pressure around my erection. 

" ahh my poor little kili" he teased licking and biting my neck. 

He reached for our lube on the bedside table and began to coat his fingers with a generous Amount of lube and began inserting into me with one finger he gently inserted it up to knuckle and started to move it around inside of me. 

I began trying to rock myself backwards onto the digit I needed more as if thorin had read my mind he worked in a second digit into my tight hole. I could feel that he had curved his fingers and he began to pound away against my prostate I wanted to scream in pleasure but of course I couldn't because of the gag so I settled for a pitiful groan. 

I expected a third finger but it never came eventually he removed his fingers causing me to let out a little whine at the loss of the full up feeling, and a little worry as to where the third finger was. 

He picked up a small purple butt plug and began coating it In the lube, he had a little smile on his face as he did this. He brought the plug to my entrance and began to insert it gently into me once It was full seated in me he thrust it in and out each time missing my sweet spot and causing me to buckle my hips I looked at his face and could tell he was enjoying himself immensely. 

He stopped thrusting after a few minutes and I could feel myself coming undone under his simulation, my senses felt extra sensitive and I could feel even the smallest movements made me groan. I had a sheen of sweat all over my body causing my skin to tingle. 

Thorin looked at my face and smiled " that's not even the best bit would you like to know the best bit?" He asked licking his lips. 

I just nodded at him he picked up a little remote from the side and clicked a button then suddenly the plug began to vibrate it felt as if all my nerves were tingling and I knew if I didn't have the cock ring I would of came there and then. It was amazingly wonderful and I felt my eyes roll back into my head in pleasure. The intensity of the toy against my prostate was too much I hung my head behind me and let my hair roll down my back. 

The divine vibrations were sending shivers up and down my body, I began to squirm and thrust my hips trying to get more pleasure from the toy.. Thorin began to lick and nip my hard nipples which caused me to let out a whimper of pleasure. My whole body felt extra sensitive so even the littlest brush against my body would make me want to cry out in want. 

I needed to be filled properly, I wanted thorin to fuck me hard and make me see stars, I needed him so desperately. Just as I thought this the vibrations stop I looked over to thorin And tried to pled with eyes to tell him what I needed. 

He seemed to understand and began to slick up his his cock, once he had finish he lent forward and kissed my cheek and began to take the gag off. 

" please please please I need you thorin , I need you inside of me, I need you to take me hard now" I begged he continued to kiss my face. 

" It's ok baby relax I will take you" he whispered in my ear and gave me one last kiss and moved his hand to the plug and gentle removed it. 

He took mercy on me and did not hang around he lined himself up and gently inserted himself into me. Once he was fully inserted he began gentle rocking movements. 

" Harder please so much harder" I gasped as my breath began to hitch. 

He increased the rhythm and pace and I began to buckle my hips trying to deepen his thrusts. 

" deeper I need you deeper" I cried. 

He began to pound even harder and I could here the sound of his balls against my flesh as he thrust into me. 

" oh god kili so good darling" thorin moaned, as he continued the hard pace into my body. 

I felt my eyes roll back into my head and was panting as he thrust into me. I screamed when he found my sweet spot. 

" oh Jesus thorin" I gasped. 

He reached down and took of the ring and began to rub my hard cock. 

" cum for me baby" he called and I obeyed and came hard all over my chest with a bellow of his name. 

He followed shortly after with a grunt. 

we stayed in this position looking at each other for a few moments, my heart was beating fast against my chest, I felt so much love towards him. 

" I love you" I told him looking in his eyes. 

" love you too your my everything" he replied running his hand through my hair. 

He gently pulled out and began to undo the bounds on the bed then the handcuffs. 

He leant in and gave me a tender kiss on the lips, then went and got a towel and began cleaning my chest. 

" Thorin I'll clean tomorrow" I call to him I was semi conscious and reached for his waist he laid beside me and pulled me close to his chest I lent my head on it and allowed myself to fall asleep while he continued to stroke my hair.


	40. The luckiest guy in the world

I woke up and reached my arm out to pull kili into a tight embrace But realised he wasn't there. I raised my eye brows and turned over to look at the clock and frowned it wasn't even 7 o clock and kili loved sleeping.

I began to worry and hurriedly went to grab my dressing gown when l hear kili singing I smiled when I realised it wasn't his usual rock and roll Classics but he was singing b52s love shack.

I walked closer and had to suppress giggle as I watched and heard kili singing the female parts and dancing around there kitchen.

" love shack baby" kili sang then he spun around and saw me.

" morning babe come dance with me" he beamed and grabbed my arm pulling me into the kitchen. He has been cooking I thought to myself in surprise I had not known kili cook anything but I smelt amazing and my stomach gave a hungry growl.

" hungry how do you want your pancake?" He asked pointing to a fresh pile of american pancakes and beaming, and guiding me to a chair.

He had got loads of different toppings but I choose golden syrup, I took a bite and was in heaven they were delicious.

" these are amazing" I praised as I took another large bite." 

He came and sat by me and started putting fillings on his own pancake. 

"Your in a good mood today sweetheart" I commented as kili reached for a teapot and poured himself and me a cup. 

" why wouldn't I be I'm engaged to the kindness and sexest man in London, I start my new job today and for the first time in ages I actually am happy in my life" he beamed and lent forward and kissed my cheek. 

"And it's all because of you I'm the luckiest guy in the world " he said with a grin spread across his face. 

It made me so very happy seeing my lover like that. He may think he was the luckiest guy but it was the oppsite way around I was lucky to be able to call him mine. 

" this must of taken you ages to make" I suddenly realised taking in how many pancakes he had actually made you could feed a football team twice over. 

" I've been up since five, I've been running and went to the supermarket to pick up stuff for breakfast oh and I've made you lunch too it's pasta salad and I've had a shower." He told me. 

I looked at the bin and was shocked to see all his cigarette rolling stuff on top of the bin he followed my gaze and I looked at him with one of my eyebrows raised. 

" oh yeah I've decided to give up smoking and I have also looked up on the computer a course at the local collage I'd like to in roll to take its an music course and another in catering I have always enjoyed cooking just not cooked in ages" he told me enthusiasticly. 

" Jesus Kee what the hell are you on coz I want some" I joked. 

He suddenly looked serious " I just want to make you proud of me. I noticed last night all your family and friends have done well for them self's there teachers, Lawers, business owners and then you got me and I work behind a bar" he admitted. 

" come her" I said and pulled him into a hug " I do care what you do for a living it's you I love and always will" I promised him kissing his temple. 

" love you too hun" he replied cupping my face and kissing my mouth. 

We finished our breakfast in a comfortable silence and I got showered and dressed and walked back into the kitchen. 

Kili was still sat by the breakfast bar with a coffee in his hand. 

" I best get going but I will see you later" I grinned pulling in for a cuddle and kiss. 

" later baby" he smiled handing me a lunch Box. 

" oh there's a surprise in there too I'll know when you found it" he winked with a mischievous look on his face. 

I looked at him bewildered for a moment he gave me a wave and I got in the car and drove to work. 

The morning went relatively quick then eleven o clock came I sat down in the staffroom and opened my lunch box. 

My heart gave a jolt of excitement as I took out a sandwich bag there in the bag was a note which had three words written on it. 

" I'm wearing it x" it read and also a remote to the butt plug from the previous night. 

My shaft twitched with excitement and the thought of kili walking around with the purple plug between his cheeks. 

I smiled and turned the remote on full and knew kili was currently feeling the vibration between his cheeks I had a mental image of kili panting and rubbing his ass against a chair trying to get more. 

I smiled and decided today was going to be a fun day and I pocketed the remote with it still turned on full vibrate.


	41. lies and guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I

hello sweetheart" thorin called as he entered our home.

" hi babe" I replied coming out the kitchen I had an apron on that was covered in flour.

I had tried everything to take my mind off smoking, I had tried tidying and cleaning the house, gardening and  
Song writing although I ended up writing a really good song called last cigarette. I had ended up running to tesco for baking ingredients and had been baking all afternoon. 

I grabbed his hand and lead him into our kitchen.

His jaw dropped as he took in all the cakes, muffins and other sweet treats I had made.

" Jesus darling are you having a bake sell" he asked looking around the kitchen.

" all I have wanted to do all day is have a smoke so I decided to bake to take my mind off of it. Muffin?" I asked picking up a plate of strawberry and white chocolate muffins. 

He took one of the plate and took a large bite " god this is delicious but what are we going to do with the rest there must be over 150 muffins and cookies here and we have no kitchen unit space" he asked letting out a laugh.

I began to laugh too " I did get a bit carried away didn't I" I said.

" just a little sexy I know I'll take some into school tomorrow " he said bring me into a hug and kissing my head.

I boiled the kettle and got out the coffee and made us both a cuppa as thorin helped himself to a hazelnut chocolate brownie.

he held my hand and we walked into our living room and sat down on the sofa I lead across it with my head in thorins lap.

" thanks for my surprise today I loved it" he purred running his fingers through my hair.

I looked up and smiled " I thought you would I did too especially when I was in tesco and there was and old ladie and I could do was wriggle my ass". I told him.

" is it still in?" He asked.

I nodded and rested my head on his legs and shut my eyes.

" Well in that case" he said with a mischievous tone to his voice.

I suddenly felt the pleasurable vibrations in my hole and my breath started to hitch.

" I have been imagining your face when it's on all day" he admitted and undone my trousers and released my cock from my boxers and began rubbing my shaft. 

My semi hard cock started to twitch with excitement at his gentle teasing. 

The vibrations of the plug were sending amazing sensations through my body and I began rubbing my bum on the sofa. 

Thorin began to laugh, he increased the speed of his thrusts against my cock.

" oh my god " I uttered as he started making a gentle twisting movements up and down my shaft I could feel my breathing getting heavy and could feel excited spasms all over my body.

The mixture of the plug and thorins stimulations made my balls tighten and I came all over my trousers and thorins hand. 

Thorin laughed and licked his fingers much to my shock. 

" you taste amazing darling" he uttered. And reached foward and turned off the plug. 

Then my phone started ringing playing my ring tone which was the bitch came back by theory of a deaman the name on the screen read Wadsworth prison, I looked up and looked at thorin and knew he had seen the name on my phone. 

"I...I gotta take this" I stuttered and hurried into the bathroom locking the door behind me. 

" hello thanduil" I answered knowing instantly who it was. 

" hey raven how is things" the soothe familiar voice said. 

" oh same old" I said saying my usually response to the question. thanduil was the only person I kept In contact with from prison I owed him my life and felt a certain closeness to him. 

" So anything new with you?" He inquired. 

"Nothing start a new job tonight that's it" I lied I hadn't talked to my friend for months he knew nothing of thorin or my engagement I don't know why I didn't tell him. 

" listen the reason for my call is there letting Me out tomorrow I've served fifteen years and your the only friend I have got on the outside world can you meet me were go for a pint" he said cheerfully. 

I remembered walking out of there with nothing to my name except the clothes on my back and my father's watch. I remembered the feelings of being abandoned and alone and knew I couldn't put him through that. 

" of course" I found myself agreeing 

" great look raven I gotta go I'm nearly out of time meet me 11.30 outside main gate. 

" I'll be there" I reasured him and the line went dead. 

I felt fear wash over me Jesus what had I done agreeing to meet him there I had not been back to that place since my release. That was the place that made me feel so low I wanted to die. I suddenly remembered the fear of being locked up and felt the walks of the bathroom closing in on me. I felt dizzy and began to sway 

I fiddled with the lock and rushed out of the room and took some deep breaths. I ran to the back door and opened it and hurried out side I just need some fresh air. 

I sat on the steps and gulped in the cool night air. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to thorins worried face. 

" lovely what's wrong " he asked I could see the worry etched across is face. 

I gave him a shaky smile " nothing I'm fine" I lied. 

"What was the telephone call about" he asked still looking at me worried. 

"It... It was just a silly misunderstanding that's all everything's fine" I lied again. I couldn't tell thorin the truth about thanduil. I didn't want to drag him into that mess I'm the one that had the responsibility to thanduil not him. 

" come on I know your not your shaking" he said and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. 

" I said I'm fine ok" I snapped he removed his arm from my shoulder and I instantly regretted it. 

I could see the hurt on his face and he turned to walk back in the house. 

I grabbed his hand " thorin I'm sorry the bathroom door just jammed and I got scared that's all honestly I'm fine sorry I snapped" I apologised and kissed his cheek. 

My guilt about lieing was over whelming. I hated doing it. But knew I was doing it to protect him I didn't want him seeing the place that haunted my dreams, I wanted to keep him away from my old life to protect him. 

" Sweetheart I'll ring dwalin and tell him your sick your still ever so pale perhaps you need a doctor" he suggested as we walked back into the house. 

" no honestly I'm fine no need to ring dwalin I'll just get read and have a brownie or two and ill be fine promise" I told him giving him a shaky smile. 

I walked into the bedroom and dropped to the floor in front of the door and began to sob into my hand what the hell had I agreed too.

I let my emotions wash over me for a few minutes after that i pulled myself together a little and I got up and began to get ready for my shift I dropped the plug back into to box. 

I took out a black pair of trousers and white shirt and tied my hair back in the usual bun.

With the mixture of guilt about lieing to my beloved and nerves about the new job I felt like I might actually vomit, my stomach was churning.

I looked into the mirror thorin was right I did look pale I plastered the biggest fake smile on my face and left the bedroom going into the living room.

Thorin was sat on the sofa with his back to the door on the phone " he just went pale just keep an eye on him for me tonight mate I know something is wrong he's been acting odd since that call" he said sounding concerned. 

I could feel the guilt eat away at me more. I thought about telling thorin the truth for a second then put it out of mind. He wouldn't get it. 

Then i felt a surge of anger that he was talking about me behind my back and ran to the front door and slammed it behind me. 

Thorin was right on my heels 

" KILI WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT" he thundered. folowing me down the garden path. 

" you are checking up on me I said I was fine I dont need you interfering" I growled. 

" I wasn't I just told dwalin you were feeling unwell, I don't know what the hell I have done" he stated looking confused. 

Just as quick as my anger came I felt it faded as I looked into his eyes and could see the pain and confusion in them. 

" sorry babe I don't mean to lose my temper again. I'm ok. I'll see you later" I lent in and kissed his cheek then got in my car and drove of leaving a very confused looking thorin stood in the drive.


	42. We will go together

I watched kili's car go down the road I felt confused and hurt rush over me. I felt tears prickling at the side of my eyes.

I walked in the house and a tear rolled my cheek everything had been going so well and then this. Why would kili not open up to me. I had given him all I could i had given my heart.

I felt a sudden wave of anger roll over my body and picked up my coffee cup and smashed against the wall. What was he hiding who the hell was thanduil and why was kili meeting him.

I got out my phone I was shaking with anger I need to talk to someone and dialed my brothers number.

"Hi thorin" his voice answered he sounded happy.

I couldn't hold my emotions together any longer and found myself sobbing down the phone. He hadn't heard me proper cry since our dad died yet he had heard it twice over the last week.

" It's ok just take deep breaths" he told me. 

I did as I was told and after a few minutes began to calm. frerin had always been able to calm me down he may be younger but know one else could when I was in a temper when we were younger my parents always assigned frerin to calm me down. 

" now explain what has happenened" he calmly told me. 

For the next ten minutes I explained exactly what had happened. 

" what do I do frerin?" I asked hoping he would have a solution. 

" you go to kili's work and ask him out right, you need to know every wise it's going to mount into something huge " he explained. 

" It's his first day I don't want him to think I'm spying on him" I said making excuses when the truth was I was scared of his answer. 

" and if you don't ask him you are left with a partner you don't trust and all the love you feel for him will turn into nothing but anger and hatred" he said truthfully. 

" your right I'm going to confront him now but what if ...what if he's cheating on me " I uttered I couldn't imagine my kili cheating on me but I never thought he would hid stuff from me. 

" there's one thing I know for sure and that's he is not cheating on you he loves you thorin so you can get that out of your head" he said sternly.A 

" yeah your right I'm going to go now" I told him. 

" Ok let me know how you get on and thorin I know your temper don't go in there all guns blazing give him a chance to speak ok" he stated 

" Ok bye" I relied and hung up the phone, I grabbed my keys got back in the car and began to drive to dwalins place. 

I was trying to figure out what I was going to say to him, I sparked up a fag and began to chain smoke which I always did when I was nervous. I pulled up in the small car park and sat in the car for a little while trying to calm my nerves I was scared shit less of losing him. 

I took a deep breath and walking in to the bar it was fairly busy and I looked over to see my gorgeous man behind the bar I forgot for a few seconds about the events of the day and smiled as I watched my kili making people's drinks like a pro.

A tall man came up and smiled at me he had long blonde hair which he had tied up in a pony tail he had blue eyes and was very pale skinned he was wearing a black shirt and black trousers.

" hi what can I get you?" He asked beaming.

" I'll have a pint of cider please any brand" I asked.

He smiled and began to pull the leaver on the pump. 

" So how is kili getting on" I inquired.

" oh you know kili yeah he's taken to it really well" He beamed putting the pint in front of me. 

"I'm thorin" I said holding out My hand which he took.

" oh your kili's thorin he hasn't stopped talking about you I'm lego" he said.

" how much do I owe you for the pint?" I asked getting my wallet out my pocket.

" on the house friend if you want to talk to kee it will go quiet in about half an hour" he told me. 

" yeah that's great I'll wait" I smiled and he went to serve another customer.

Kili looked at me and gave me a friendly wave which I returned. I was being stupid of course he wasn't cheating on me I sipped my cider and watched kili work.

Half an hour later it had quietened down and kili walked over to me.

" hey baby" he smiled and kissed me on the lips

" hi I need to talk to you" I said nervously.

His smile dropped " that doesn't sound good am I in trouble?" He asked looking worried.

" no sweetheart your not in trouble I gave him a reassuring smile.

"Lego can I take a break now I need to talk with thorin" kili asked.

The blonde smiled " yeah that's fine my flats up above You can use that just up the stairs it's unlocked" he offered.

"Thanks" he smiled at the blonde and took my hand and he lead me behind the counter and up some wooden staircases

He opened the door and lead me into the flat it was a small flat with mink coloured walls there was a large white leather sofa and two matching arm chairs as you entered the room and a black coffee table he led me to the sofa and we Sat down looking at each other. Neither of us spoke after a minute or so kili broke the silence.

" you wanted to talk are you ok?" he said looking worried.

I decided not to beat around the bush and just ask him straight out.

"Kili who Is thanduil?" I asked trying to keep my voice even.

His expression changed from worried to fuming in seconds.

" you listened to my convisation you had know right to listen in on me" he thundered.

" I'm sorry I didnt mean to listen in I Was worried when I saw the prison name, but who is he" I asked trying to stop myself from getting angry.

" he...He is the man that stopped me killing myself the second time" he told me quietly.

" why are you meeting him tomorrow?" I asked deciding the best way was to just come out with it rather than beat around the bush.

" he gets released from prison he's asked me to meet him outside the gates I couldn't just say no I owe him my life thorin" he said with an edge of anger to his voice.

It was then I realised he had paled when he spoke about going back there.

" your scared" I stated gently and grabbed his hand.

" of course I'm scared I spent two years locked up in that place I nearly died in there and it still haunts me to this day It's the last place I want to go I didn't tell you because it's a horrid place and I lied because i didn't want you to come and see that place I have got to as I owe thanduil you dont" he quietly explained.

" but I want to come and support you I won't let you go alone we will go together ok sweetheart" I said softly vto him tilting his head to meet my eyes.

He looked at me and nodded then wrapped his arms around my waist. " sorry I lied" he whispered in my ear.

" It's ok I get it but please don't to it again" I said and returned his embrace.


	43. The prison

We drove in silence. Dread filled me up and the closer we got to the prison the more sick I felt. I felt close to tears I wanted to get as far away from this place as possible. I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing I could fill my chest tightening the nearer we got to the prison, we turned a corner and then we saw it.

It was a old prison with grey walls and little windows with bars on them, it had metal fencing around the outside and bard wire on top of the fencing there was security guards on the gate and loads cameras pointing at the prison.

Thorin pulled over along the side of the road and we both got out the car. My legs felt Unsteady and weak, I felt my self begin to shake as memories flooded back to me.

" It's ok sweetheart" thorin reassured me seeing my fear and linking my arm to steady me.

" I'm..I'm so scared" I admitted clutching onto his arm for dear life. 

" It's ok my love I'm here we will do it together" he reassured me. 

We started to walk slowly towards the prison I felt as if my legs would give out. 

" Thorin I...I can't do this" I said my voice stuttering with fear, I wanted to retreat back to the car. 

" Sweetheart you can I'm here" he said and wrapped me into a hug. 

I was trembling with fear, and buried my head into the warmth of his hug I could smell the familiar smell of linx on his jacket, it seemed to relax me a little. 

" Ok your right I can do this I need to do this" I stated determined. 

He linked his arm and we slowly started to move again. 

" you see that window two floors up and three windows in?" I asked and he nodded. 

" that was my cell" I told him looking up at the building. 

I could picture the cold cell as if it was only yesterday with a metal uncomfortable bed, desk, toilet and sink. I could remember sitting there with my eyes closed feeling the walls cave in on me. 

my legs began to buckle thorin grasped under both my shoulders " oh god I can feel the walls caving in on me" I cried. 

" alright baby alright I'm here sweetie, concentrate on me your safe" thorin called as I collapsed on the floor and slumped into his arms shaking with fear and my head was spinning. 

I heard running and clung to thorin tighter. 

" is he ok?" A gravely man's voice asked. 

" he's got closterphobia and spent time along time ago in side those walls I think it's just a little too much being here, can you help me get him back to the car?" He asked I could hear the worry in his voice. I felt my self being brought to feet I looked at thorin on one side and looked to the other and was shocked to see a face I knew. 

" Aragon? " I asked feeling weak. 

He looked at my face and I could see that he recognised me too. 

" Jesus kili?" he said unsure and I nodded. 

Thorin looked at us both confused. 

" Aragon was..was a guard when i was here" I explained weakly as they both supported my shoulders as we walked back to the car. 

Thorin unlocked the door and practically lifted me into it.I began to relax and thorin opened the glove compartment and handed me a bottle of water.

" I'm so sorry" I apologised feeling stupid and embrassed.

" It's alright my love no need to apologise after what you went through in that place" he told me and gave me a reassuring smile and kissed me.

" but what about thanduil I promised I would meet him" I stated starting to panic again .

" It's ok kili I'll send him up when he is released, your looking good " he said with a smile on his face.

"Thank you, this is thorin my fiancé" I told him.

" please to meet you thorin" he smiled and they shook hands.

" I better get back but it was nice to see you kili take care of yourself" he beamed and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

" why didn't I just say no, I wish I'd never come back here" I uttered tears spilling down my face.

" because your a kind lovely person that's why I love you" thorin told me leaning in an kissing me on the lips.

" I'm pathetic who does that? Gets freaked out at the thought of small spaces" I growled angry at myself.

" your not pathetic sweetheart it's human to be scared sometimes" he reassured me holding my hand

" Im.. im stupid most people fear sensible things and then there's me freaking out at..at being shut in a small room" I uttered feeling ashamed that I freaked out in the middle of a street.

" don't beat yourself over it your not stupid" he said planting kisses down my neck.

" I'm...I'm so sorry I embrassed you" I apologised looking at the floor.

"You didn't embarrass me love" he uttered brushing a stray hair from my face. 

Just then we heard a voice clear behind us we both jumped and turned around.

I recognised him instantly he still had long blonde hair but it had strands of silver in it, he had a thin tall frame and piercing blue eyes and pale skin, he was wearing an old pair of jeans and a brown hooded top.

" hello raven" thanduil said coolly..


	44. Thanduil

The blonde haired man spoke in almost a bored voice I watched how kili gave him a hug in greeting I felt a little un easy about this man true I had only met him ten seconds but there was something about his manner I didn't like.

" you look well raven" he said with a little smile.

" thanks you so do you" he beamed at the tall blonde.

Thanduils eyes then gazed on me and he gave me an icy stare, he looked me up and down and raised an eyebrow.

" And who is this?" he asked not taking his eyes of me they Way he looked at me made me shift uncomfortably, his cold eyes just stared at my face. 

" This is my fiancé Thorin, thorin this is thanduil" he beamed. 

I held out my hand for the other man to take which he shook in an bored way. 

" my... my your fiancé things are looking up for you little raven" he drawled. 

" It's. .its kili" he mumbled nervously 

" oh of course of course" thanduil said smiling. 

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up I disliked everything about him, he made me unease and put me on edge. My guard had gone up and instantly wanted kili to get the hell away from this creep. 

"So what are you plans now your out" I inquire forcing myself to polite for kili's sake. 

" Well first thing I want is a pint and good pubs around here" he asked gazing at kili and reaching out and touching his arm. 

I wanted to shout for him to get the hell off my kili but managed to stop myself. I was not one to judge people when I didn't know them but all my instincts were telling me to grab kili and drive as far away from him as i could. 

" Well I'm. .I'm not sure but I work in a pub you can come in to work later if you want" he stuttered nervously. 

" ah Well that sounds... interesting I think I shall come and watch you work" he stated with a slight mock to his voice. 

"why..why don't you come back to ours for a coffee" kili suggested nervously. 

The last thing I wanted was this guy in my house, I didn't want him to know where I lived, I didn't trust him with at all. I wrapped a protective arm around kili's waist and kili reached down and held my hand. 

" aww aren't you guys cute" he smirked. 

I glared at him, i wanted to punch the smirk off his face but settled for giving I'm a false smile. 

I looked at kili he was looking up on me with a beam on his face " I have to get to work for half one sweetheart is there anywhere you would like me to drop you" I said very reluctantly I didn't want to leave him alone with this cold man. 

" home would be great" he beamed and kissed me on the lips. 

Thanduil just seemed to watch our every move which was unnerving and kind of creepy. 

He plastered a smile on his face which I could tell was false " I'd love to see where you live raven" he said. 

" his name is kili not raven" I uttered through gritted teeth. 

He looked at me raised an eyebrow and gave me a sickly sweet grin " oh of course I'm so sorry it's just a nickname between old friends" he said innocently. 

I felt tense and unlocked the car, we all got in and I started the engine and drove in silence. 

We arrived outside our house thirty minutes later, I lent towards kili and gave him a kiss. 

" have fun love I'll see you later, I will meet you at dwalins" I told him beaming at him. 

" you don't have to you know" he said giving me a smile. 

" I will never miss a chance to watch you perform" I told him holding his hand. 

He got out the car and leaned back in and gave me another little kiss. 

" I love you" I told him. 

" love you too" he stated and gave me a smile. 

I started the engine and began to drive down the road I sparked up a fag and felt my self getting lost in my thoughts.


	45. locked in a a garage

I sat nervously on the sofa, with a coffee and one of my chocolate hazelnut muffins.

"So you and what's his name again torin ?" Thanduil asked taking a sip of his coffee.

"Thorin" I corrected feeling a little irritated at the fact he forgot thorins name.

" whatever how long have you been together and how did you meet?" He asked giving me a huge smile.

I beamed " not...not long about a month in a half and cutting a long story short he came into the coffee shop and ordered a coffee And that night he..he watched me perform summer of 69 he says it was love at first sight well it certainly was for me" I told him getting lost in happy memory's 

"Aww how sweet so it's true love" he said smiling I thought I heard a hint of mocking in there but decided to ignore it. 

" I do love thorin with all my heart I feels like I have been with him forever" I said confidently. 

" So what does your fiancé do" he smiled sweetly at me. 

" he's a secondary school teacher and also owns a restaurant" I told him. 

" aww bless it must be nice to have a rich partner" he stated. 

I was shocked I had never really thought about thorin having money, I loved him for him not for how much cash he had. I began to worry that people saw me as a money grabber. 

" It's.. its not like that I love him" I stuttered feeling a little sad and hurt that thanduil could even suggest that. 

"Oh of course not I'm so sorry I didn't even mean to suggest that" he apologised. 

"It's..its fine" I stuttered but even though he had apologised I was still a little annoyed. 

" come on let's go out for a proper drink there must be a pub around here I bet your a funny drunk" he suggested smiling at me. 

" id love to but I got work at six thirty" I told him. 

" So blow it off" he suggested with a smile and helping himself to a fag from thorin's packet on the table. 

" I can't it's my second day and I'm performing tonight and also my boss is my friend" I told him and I like working I thought to myself true I hadn't had the best luck with jobs but I did actually enjoy my first shift and lego was nice bloke I think we could become friends shame to bugger it up by skipping work. 

"Aww your still doing the guitar playing thing that's ace" he praised it could almost be patronising but I was pretty sure he didn't mean it like that.

" come on raven live a little call in sick " he said smiling.

" I will not lose my job because you want to get drunk" I snapped.

His face went stern and I thought I saw a flash of anger go across it but it was gone within a second

" sorry didn't mean to snap at you" I apologised.

He smiled sweetly " It's fine my dear lad, I'm going to go down to a job centre later need to find myself a job" he said looking at his fingernails.

" that's great I could put in a good word at the bar if you like dwalin is a nice guy" I offered.

He thought about this for a while " that could be interesting, thanks raven that would be great." He smiled.

" It's kili and that's fine" I beamed back.

We stayed in silence for a couple more minutes drinking our coffee and eating cookies and muffins.

" do you fancy another coffee?" I asked.

"that would be nice" He smiled  
I walked over to the fridge and found we had no more milk then remembered there was some frozen in the spare freezer.

" I just got to go to the garage to get a frozen carton out, god hate going into the garage the door sticks " I muttered taking the keys from the the bowl on the table.

I walked out to the garage door and unlocked it. Thorin kept all his diy stuff in here and his car, I went to turn the light switch on but forgot the bulb had blown and cursed myself for not picking one up. I walked over to the freezer and started to dig for the milk.

" I'm going to get to the job centre I'll meet you at the bar later" thanduil voice called.

" Ok see you later" I called. 

A minute later I heard the door slam and i was suddenly in darkness.

"Thanduil" I called un easy.

"Thanduil c....come on its..its not funny" I stuttered feeling My fear kick in already.

I thumbled in the dark for the door in the dark, I tried to open the door but it wouldn't budge.

My breath started to quicken and heart rate increase.

" he...hello can anyone hear me" I Screamed banging on the door. 

I felt a wave of sickness over my body And reached for mobile phone and much to my horror remembered it was on the coffee table. 

I began to lose any sense of sanity I had managed to keep hold of. 

I scuttled over to the corner I could feel the walls closing in on me, I couldn't breath I need to get out I ran back to the door and started to hammer on the door, I felt tears running down my face mixed in with sweat. The hairs began to prickle at the back of my neck. 

"HELP" I bellowed.


	46. protect him

I wake into bar dwalin, my day had dragged It was just one of those days that I wished I hadn't become a teacher, students just kept asking stupid questions and one student had thought it would be hilarious to tie there friends shoes together and watch him trip and twist his ankle and have to got to A&E.

I walked up to the bar and smiled at dwalin.

" hi dwalin I'll have half a pint of carling please mate" I beamed taking off my sports coat 

I looked around the bar and my eyes feel on thanduil he looked over at me and gave me a sneer. I felt my eyes narrow. 

" who Is that your glaring at" he asked looking at the blonde man. 

" Thanduil kili's friend, I don't trust him, he's just creepy the way he looks at kili and he seems to sneer ar everything" I told him not talking my eyes of thanduil. 

" got to admit when I served him earlier I thought he seemed a little odd" dwalin admitted Watching him too. 

I didn't trust the look on his face he seemed to know somthing that I didn't. 

"Where is kili anyway" he inquired taking a sip of water out of a evlan bottle. 

"What do you mean? He's here isn't he?" I asked starting to feel a little worried.

" no I thought he was probably running a little late, have you not heard from him" he asked concern etched across his face. 

" not since about half 12 I think I better go home and look for him I'll let you know what's going on when I do" I stated putting back on my coat and hurrying out the bar. 

I felt worried I didn't know why but the way thanduil had looked at me had made me panic, I felt sure he knew where kili was and the way he looked at me had made me very uneasy.

I unlocked the car and Got inside my mind was going over time what if he had a car crash or was ill I got out my phone and tried to ring him my heart was pounding against my chest. 

It cut thought to answer phone " Sweetheart are you ok, dwalin and I are worried about you. Can you call me back when you get this my love. I love you" 

I turned the keys in the the engine and sped out of the car park. I had thoughts of kili hurt it brought tears to my eyes god I hate London traffic I thought as I came to a long que. 

I found myself checking my phone every five seconds I felt on edge and couldn't get the evil smirk on that blonde idiots face out of my head whatever has happened he's behind it I just knew it. 

Twenty minutes later I pulled up into the drive and was relieved to see kili's car. I noticed the living room light an immediately felt relieve and ran up the steps. I thought he had probably fallen asleep on our bed so ran into the bedroom and frowned when he wasn't there. 

" kili?" I called and searched every room In the house, he wasn't in any and I could fill myself begin to panic. My chest went tight and my heart was going twenty to the dozen. 

I looked at the coffee table and it was then that I noticed his mobile phone on it. 

I started to frantically search the house again in case there was Something I had missed, my Chest was tight and I could feel myself begining to freak out. 

I ran outside and began searching the front garden for signs of him. 

"KILI" I shouted frantically. 

" thorin I'm... I'm in here please get me out" I heard a voice cry and knew instantly it was kili. 

I quickly unlocked the door And scanned the garage until my eyes rested on him, he was curled up by near the back of the double garage shaking with his hands over his face. 

I noticed his hands covered in Deep gashes and blood was dripping down his arms. I walked over to him and wrapped arm around him. 

" It's ok sweetheart I'm hear" I reasured him. 

He clenched on to my jacket, and began sobbing into it I ran my hands through his hair. 

" how long have been in here darling?" I asked while checking his bloody hands the best I could in the light. 

" I...i Don't know since about one thirty" he cried. 

I felt horrified When I realised he had been locked alone in the dark for over six hours I pulled him closer to my chest and ran my fingers through his locks. 

" baby we need to get you out of here I need to check your hands there pretty torn up" I whispered kissing his cheek. 

He tried to stand but he seemed Unsteady on his legs. 

I pulled him into my arms and carried him into the house thank god he was so light, every wise I would never be able to get him in the house. 

I placed him onto the sofa and ran into the kitchen to get the first aid kit and get kili a drink as he must be dehydrated. 

" would you mind if I checked you hands love?" I asked gently. 

He shook his head and held out his hands for me to check. His hands were torn to ribbons, with angry looking open wounds over them. They were both extremely inflamed and red raw. 

" I tried to claw my way out, it hurts like hell" he stated with tears still in his eyes he reached for the glass of water and downed it. 

" We got any vodka?" He said with a little laugh and grimaced as I gently Started to clean the wounds with savlon. 

" think we need to get you checked out in hospital hunny" I told him gently. 

I saw his face drop at this piece of news but he eventually nodded looking miserable. 

" it won't be that bad" I reasured him while wrapping my arm around his shoulders. 

" I will go as long as I can play my set at the bar first" he said with a determined look on his face. 

" kee you cant play when your hands are like this that's madness" I proclaimed. 

" thorin I managed to go six hours scared shit less with out cutting my wrists and I will not let my fear control me any longer I want to preform and I will preform" he told me stubbornly. 

I could help a smile " Ok hun if that's what you want to do I'll support you and I'm so proud of you your so brave" I Stated giving him a kiss. 

And I really was proud of him to face his fear head on, I thought back to the man I had met a month or so ago And he really had blossomed. He made me so very happy. 

" thank you" I said gazing into his chocolate eyes. As I covered his hand wounds with a tempary bandage. 

" for what" he Quizzed looking a little bewildered and confused. 

" for Being with me I love you so much, I am so lucky I didn't know what love was until I meet you" I confessed giving him a tender kiss on his lips. 

" I'm the lucky one if it wasn't for you in still be working in some dump coffee shop . You have changed my life completely and make me want to be a better man. And I love you too" he stated and pulled me back into the kiss. 

After a few minutes of tenderness I pulled away " Shit I better get you to dwalins" I smiled. 

" I can't carry my guitar and amp with my hands like this would. .would you mind" he asked. 

I raised an eyebrow " I do not think I have seen you play it before" I realised. 

" you haven't" he smiled 

forty minutes later we arrived at the bar, it was crowded and all the people seemed to be waiting it was just then I realised that they were waiting for my kili. Pride filled my body. 

I walked up to the little stage and set up his guitar following his instructions. Then took a spot by the bar. I looked over to thanduil he seemed cool enough the I swear I could see a flicker of annoyance flash across his face but it was gone with in seconds. 

I couldn't help a little smile then returned my eyes to the stage. 

" hi I'm. .I'm going to try somthing a little different today I will do a few songs my. .my choice the rest will be yours" he stated nervously. 

" Ok I'm going to sign a song I love by bon jovi if you know it your welcome to join in is called shot through the heart" he smiled. 

He took his usual deep breaths with his eyes shut and opened his eyes and for the first time before he sang locked eyes with me smiled and opened his mouth and began to sing

.

Shot through the heart  
And you're to blame  
Darling, you give love a bad name...

An angel's smile is what you sell  
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell  
Chains of love got a hold on me  
When passion's a prison, you can't break free

Oh, oh, you're a loaded gun (yeah)  
Oh, oh, there's nowhere to run  
No one can save me  
The damage is done

[Chorus:]  
Shot through the heart  
And you're to blame  
You give love a bad name (bad name)  
I play my part  
And you play your game  
You give love a bad name (bad name)  
You give love a bad name  
You give love a bad name

Paint your smile on your lips  
Blood red nails on your fingertips  
A school boy's dream, you act so shy  
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye

Oh, oh, you're a loaded gun  
Oh, oh, there's nowhere to run  
No one can save me  
The damage is done

[Chorus:]  
Shot through the heart  
And you're to blame  
You give love a bad name (bad name)  
I play my part  
And you play your game  
You give love a bad name (bad name)  
You give love... ah!

Oh!

[Chorus:]  
Shot through the heart  
And you're to blame  
You give love a bad name  
I play my part  
And you play your game  
You give love a bad name (bad name)

Shot through the heart  
And you're to blame  
You give love a bad name (bad name)  
I play my part  
And you play your game  
You give love a bad name (bad name)  
(Whoa) You give love  
(Whoa) You give love (bad name)  
(Whoa) You give love  
(Whoa) You give love (bad name)  
(Whoa) You give love  
(Whoa) You give love (bad name)  
(Whoa) You give love  
(Whoa) You give love (bad name)

I had never seen him play his electric guitar I would never forget it until the day I die, he was mid blowing. The crowd had sung along with him and It made me realise I really am the luckiest man in the world. He continued with his set for the next hour then had to finish early due to the pain in his hands.

" that was beautiful baby" I beamed kissing his lips.

" thanks babe" he said shyly wrapping his arm around my waist.

" that really was fantastic mate" dwalin praised as he grasped my shoulder.

" thank you" he beamed.

" let's get you to the hospital" I whispered 

Just then thanduil walked over to us " that was fun" he drawled.

I wanted to punch his face I wrapped my arm around him in a tight protective hug, I was even more shocked when kili greeted him with a smile.

" thanks" he beamed.

Thanduil looked at his hands and put a look of mock horror on his face " sweet boy what happened to your hands " he enquired.

You know damn well what happened to his hands I thought and clenched my fist. I exchanged looks with dwalin and he gave a little shake of his head. He knew my warning signs due to seeing me get into fights before.

I took some deep breaths to calm myself down but all I could see was red every time I looked into that arrogant scowl of his. I could tell he was seething deep down in side but kili seemed oblivious to this.

" Sweetheart we need to get you to the hospital" I said.

I wanted to tell the creep to get the hell away from my boyfriend but kept my cool. I looked at dwalin and could tell he was prepairing to break up a fight.

" Ok hun see you thanduil" he smiled back as I guided him out of the bar. I looked back and saw a scowl on his face as he watched us leave the building, I knew I couldn't protect him but I wanted to I would give anything to protect him from thanduil.


	47. fingering in the hospital

" The last time I had been in hospital was when my brother made the heartbreaking choice to turn of ma and pa life support machine. I began shifting me feet nervously.

" sweetie sit still" thorin said patiently as I twitched.

" I..i can't I hate hospitals" I stuttered playing with the hem of my shirt, my hands hurt like hell and all I wanted was a smoke we had been waiting an hour and I was beginning to think agreeing to get checked out was stupid. 

I was just about to suggest going home a young looking brown haired girl with blue scrubs come into the waiting area. 

" kili Oakley" she said in a northern Irish accent. I Took a massive gulp and I stood up to follow her into the consultant room. 

" good luck baby" thorin smiled encouragingly 

" Thorin can you erm come in with me" I gushed flushing red with embrassment and feeling like a child. 

" of course I can sweetie" he beamed and linked my arm and we followed the young happy nurse into the examination cubicle. 

" what part of Ireland are you from?" I asked curiously. 

" derry" she answered smiling 

I smiled back "Tá mo thuismitheoirí ón Srath Bán agus chaith mé a lán de mo laethanta saoire scoile óige tabhairt cuairte ar mo theaghlach" I told her smiling. 

she smiled and replied back In the same language. It was nice to speak the lingo again it was so long since I last spoke it. 

I looked at thorin and saw the shocked look on his face " did you just speak Irish gaelic?" He asked me with his jaw dropped.

I laughed and and tilted his jaw shut" it was I can speak fluent Irish my grand parents use to say I may be classed as an English citizen but I am an Irish man and as an Irish man I should speak the language and refused to talk to me unless I spoke gaelic" I told him with a smile on my face.

The nurse left the room to get a cleaning agent.

" I find that very sexy" he purred in my ear. 

I gave him a devilish grin "Bhuel a d'fhéadfadh liom a ghlacadh coileach taobh istigh orm leat níos déanaí má tarraing tú dom anois" I told him kissing his neck 

" what does that mean? he asked. 

"Well I might take you cock inside me later if you suck me now" I grinned and grabbed his hand and led him to the disabled toilet opposite

As I locked the door I reached for his face and roughly crushed our lips together I could taste beer on his lips, I slowly slipped my tongue into the heat of his mouth and we joined out tongues together both fighting for dominance over the kiss.

Thorin reached his hand down my Jeans and started playing with my cock, I was a ready semi hard and felt myself getting harder under his expert touch.

"Mar sin, dea thorin Mar sin, de (so good thorin so good) " I cried out in pleasure enjoying the way he had started fondling my balls.

He removed his hand and reached my zip and pulled out my shaft from my jeans and boxers and pulled them off and placed them into the bathroom sink. 

" So beautiful for me sexy" he said and took me into the warmth of his mouth.he ran his tongue up the inner part of my cock which sent electrical currents of excitement down my spine.

He began to stroke me as he took me deep into his mouth and sucked hard. My eyes felt as if they might pop out from the socket.

By hips began to buck as he continued to suck and caress my balls. I began to moan loudly as he flicked his tongue over my slit.

He moved his hand to my ass and began teasing my hole by circling my ring with his index finger, he gently penetrated my body with the digit and thrust it slowly In and out.

I let out a moan and arched my back and thrust hard into his mouth, I looked at his face and could swear he had a smile under my cock and sucked harder on it.

The mixture of his sucking and the finger in my ass had me pushing back further onto the digit wanting more pressure to my prostate and make me thrust fast into his mouth.

My balls began to tighten so I tugged at his hair in warning and spilled my seed down his throat. 

" Thorin oh god Thorin" I called as I came hard. 

He pulled his lips off my cock but kept his fingers in my ass. 

He smiled and added a third finger and began thrusting into me curving his fingers to pound against my sweet spot and began licking my back.

This caused my spine to twitch with pleasure and I let out a groan of delight, so much pleasurable things were happening to my body I felt extra sensitive and a huge need to be fucked.

as if reading my mind thorin thrust one more time against my prostate and slowly began to withdraw his fingers.

I let out a want on moan.

" don't worry sweetheart I'll soon feel you up with something bigger" he said smiling I looked into his eyes and they had darkened with lust and desire. 

He took of his jeans and boxers and placed them in the sink on top of mine.

He looked around the room and then frowned " Shit no lube" he stated.

I gave him a smile and bent down to his hardened shaft and began to suck on it to lube it up, I made sure I used plenty of salva and he groaned with pleasure as soon as it was moist enough I removed my lips from his shaft.

He Sat on the seat of the toilet and patted to his knee, I instantly knew what he meant and brought one of my legs over his lap and left the other one the other side and began slowly lowering myself onto his hard shaft. I brought my lips to his neck and Began running my teeth over his neck and let out a little nibble on his ear.

Once his shaft was in my hole I began thrusting up and down on his lap enjoying the incredible full feeling his cock was giving me. 

I buckled my hips against his cock and thrust my self against him. 

He was letting himself come undone under me as I increased the speed of my thrusts using the walls of the bathroom as I impaled myself further on his shaft. 

My hole was stretching more with every deep thrust, it was a pleasant burning sensation and thorin grasped my hips as I thrust harder fucking myself on his cock. 

"Kili I'm going to.." he started but didn't finish his sentence as he came in my hole. 

I carried on thrusting all the was through is organism I felt sweat running down my back where I had been thrusting so much. 

We sat gazing into each other's eyes. 

" I love you so much Baby I told him and began sucking his neck I lent back and smiled at the mark I had made on his neck just above where the collar of his shirt would be. 

" I love you too my lovely" he cooed and made a matching mark on my neck. 

He gently lifted me of his now soft shaft and we slowly began to get dressed. 

A tiny knock thumped on the door then the same Irish lady's voice called out " are you ok in there we heard noises and theres quite a que for the toliet" she said in a concerned voice. 

I Began to laugh loudly at the thought of an innocent old man waiting to use the toilet and hearing out groans and thorin put his hand over my mouth In an attempt to quieten my giggle 

" I'll be out in a minute" thorin said his voice broke and he started giggling too I put my hand over his too and we both looked at each other and tried to suppress our laughter.


	48. I want to take you on an Irish adventure.

I woke up extra early and looked at kili he was sound asleep curled up to my side with his stitched hand spread across my bare chest and had his beautiful hair spread out over his face.

I lent down and kissed his bare chest then gently got out of bed and slipped my pillow in place of me. He cuddled the pillow and I stopped for a few minutes just looking at my sexy man.

I slowly walked to the door and stepped out the room gently and walked into the kitchen switched on the kettle to boil then walked back into the living room and sat in front of my computer.

I typed into Google weddings in Ireland as I had an amazing idea last night that I'd like to take kili to Ireland and arrange to see some possible wedding venues.

I began to write a list of possible wedding venues when a stunning white castle and grounds flashed up on my screen it was called Huntington castle and was breath taking it had a huge water fountain In the middle of the court yard and out the gardens had a beautiful display of flowers in an impressive formal garden and a beautiful lake and a yew tree walk.

I wanted to marry my kili here so much and could just picture the castle covered in a blanket of snow. I smiled as I decided to ask kili to marry me this December if we could get the castle.

I composed an email to the castle staff requesting a viewing and also asking if possible to view it this weekend and if it was ok to reserve a room for four nights for me and kili. 

I looked at the clock it read 6.26 so I decided to text dwalin and ask if there was any way kili could have from Friday to Monday off q. He texted back quickly and told me it was fine. 

I couldn't wait to tell kili and decided to surprise him at the weekend. 

I smiled at my brilliant plan and walked into the bedroom and gently slipped back into bed so he wouldn't know I had gone I felt him stirring and closed my eyes as if I hadn't woke up. 

I felt his hand brush on face and his lips brush on my face. He started running his hands all over my body and pressing gentle kisses all over my bare flesh. I could feel myself getting aroused and didn't want him to know I had already been awake so decided now was the time to wake up. 

I flicked my eyes open and smiled at his sweet face he had bed hair and let out a huge yawn. 

" hello my little dreamer" I said and gave him a proper kiss. 

" Mor. .morning babe" he yawned tucking his head into my neck. 

" did you sleep well?" I asked running my hand through his long mane of hair. 

" yeah I slept like a log and I dreamt about you and me we were horse riding and made love in the middle of a field" he flushed. 

" We can do that if you like my saucy little minx, sex outside is fun, sex on the beach is amazing" I beamed. 

He looked at me nervously and seemed to be on the verge of saying something " thorin can...can I ask you a question" he asked nervously biting his lip. 

I looked him in the eyes and smiled " of course you can buttercup ask away" I said openly. 

" you..you said you were a bit of a how did you put it a cock whore" he said then seemed to lose his nerve. 

" yes that is how I put it I was a cock whore" I laughed and urged him to continue 

" how many he finished" and lowered his gaze. 

I shifted uncomfortably I didn't want to lie to him but I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable either. 

" what you have to understand my love it was meaningless I have never felt like how I do about you with anyone. I have been with around a hundred men, a lot of Them were one night stands and I didn't even know there names while others were fuck buddy's, that's how me and dwalin met" I finished honestly wanting to tell him everything now so he didn't find out later. 

"Hang on you...you slept with Dwalin" he asked astounded. 

" yeah kili dwalins bisexual, it was when we were at uni when I first came out, his wife knows it's not going to make you uncomfortable Is it?" I asked nervously. 

" course not I love you baby" he beamed kissing me on the lips. 

I let out a huge sigh of relief " had me a little worried there" I laughed.

We laid cuddled up wrapped in each others warmth for a few minutes when my alarm on my phone went of to signal it was half past 7.

We both let out s huge groan of annoyance.

" do you really have to get up you could just ring in sick and stay in bed with me screwing all day" he pounted and looked at me with huge eyes. 

" I'd love nothing more than to stay here with you sweetie" I whispered in his ear and kissed down his neck. 

" but I better" I said and reluctantly got out of our bed and started to get dressed in my usual work outfit of black trousers and a shirt today's colour was navy blue. 

"What are your plans for today" I inquired as I put a tie around my neck, kili got out of bed and wrapped his arms around my waist. 

" I thought I'd meet up with thanduil and help him find a job" he said brightly. 

I immediately felt un easy at the sound of his name. The hairs on the back of my neck had pricked up. I needed to ask him about yesterday but didn't want to cause an argument. 

" yesterday when you got shut in the garage there isn't anyway that thanduil may of locked you in the garage by mistake is there" I asked trying to make it sound like I wasn't accusing anyone. 

Kili frowned " why would he do anything that stupid when he knows I don't like small spaces he wouldn't" he said innocently. 

Kili was such a trusting person it hurt to see him being made an idiot of and I was certain that is what thanduil was doing. 

I lent down and wrapped my arms around his shoulders " just promise me you will keep your phone on you, promise me I said sternly. 

he looked up into my eyes " of course hun" he smiled and kissed me on the lips. 

I ran my fingers through his hair again and then gave him one more kiss and said goodbye then set out for work


	49. guilt

i walked in to the little cafe that thanduil had picked for us to meet in. It reminded me a little of bagins coffee shop. It had brown carpeted flooring and red walls with pictures of mountains and lakes.it had little wooden tables with candles on it and wooden chairs.There was a strong aroma of coffee beans in the air.

Thranduil was already sat at a table tapping his leg impatiently.

" It's about bloody time" thanduil snapped as I walked over to the table.

I frowned a little " good morning to you too" I said feeling a little annoyed.

" I'll have a coffee and a flapjack" he ordered smiling at me sweetly 

I walked up to the counter and smiled at the mid aged blonde lady behind the counter.

" hi can I..i get a coffee, a hot chocolate and two flapjacks please" I beamed at her.

She smiled back and began to make our order she brought back the order to the counter. 

" that's £8.45 please" she smiled as I took out my wallet And handed her a ten pound note. 

" keep the change " I smiled. And returned back to our table thanduil had his feet up on a chair from another table, and was humming. 

I raised an eyebrow but didn't comment he had been in jail for fifteen years he was bound to be a little social unaware. 

" thanks" he said giving me a large smile and taking a sip. 

" So how..how did the job search go?" I muttered taking a sip of chocolate. 

" It didn't all of the jobs were wrong none were really me" he uttered taking a bite of flap jack " this tastes like shit he said loudly. 

I felt myself flush with embrassment at this comment the lady behind the counter looked upset and I guessed that she had made them. 

I took a mouthful of mine it wasn't the nicest flapjack in the world but not that bad " I don't know what your talking about I think it tastes wonderful" I said brightly and smiled at the lady who smiled back. 

thanduil rolled his eyes " you are too nice" he commented looking at his hands. 

"Well there..There is no reason to be nasty for the sake of being nasty" I replied. 

He opened his mouth to reply when my phone Began to ring a picture of myself and thorin flashed up on the screen. 

" hi baby" I answered instantly feeling happy. 

I knew something was wrong instantly from his tone. " can you meet me please" he asked sounding upset. 

I frowned and began to worry " thorin are you ok hun" I asked feeling concerned. 

" I'm... Please kili I need to talk to you can you meet me at costa on regent street? Please kee" he begged. 

" I'm on my way babes" I ansrewed and he hung up. 

I started to panic I had never heard thorin sound so low and grabbed my coat and keys. 

"You have only just got here" thanduil said annoyed. 

" I have got to go" I told him not really paying any attention to what he was saying and walked out the door. 

scared thoughts went running around my head. I was worried to here thorin talk in that tone, I hurried in my car and began to drive. I reached in my glove compartment and brought out a pack of fans and took one out. I sparked it up bugger quitting I thought as I took a long drag . What if he wanted to finish it and didn't love me any more is all I kept thinking tears began to prick at the corner of eyes. 

I loved him so much With all my heart and couldn't stand the thought of his leaving me. I pulled my hair out of my bun at least he he did dump me I could use my hair to cover my face so he wouldn't see the hurt and pain in my eyes. 

I pulled up out side the coffee shop ten minutes later I felt nervous as if I might be sick. 

I decided there was no point in pre longing it so walked into the shop and spotted thorin Sat at a little table. His eyes were red and looked sore. I walked up to him and he stood up and wrapped his arm around my shoulder he began to shake and sob instantly in my arms . 

" It's ok hun" I soothed unsure what had happened to make him so emotional He clung to me tight and continued to cry I kissed his head as he sobbed in my arms. 

Two teenagers who were sat a few tables away began to snigger and mutter something about faggots at Thorins outburst. I sent them death glares across the coffee shop. 

They saw my face and I saw a shudder of fear flash across there's. They gathered there belongings and hurried out of the shop. 

I wrapped a protective arm around thorin as he continued to cry. 

" It's ok everything will ok" I whispered running my hands through his mane. 

People were beginning to Watch us now but who cared let them stare, my heart broke as the man I loved wept in my arms. I felt tears run down my face. 

Thorin was the strong one that never let anything get him down and to see him this broken killed me. 

" I'm sorry to embarrass you" he said after a couple of minutes once he began to calm down. 

" you could never embarrass me I love you" I said sternly. 

He sat down at the table and I sat down opposite. He took my hand and began to stroke it. It seemed to calm him down. 

" So I lost my job" he blurted out. 

I could see the pain and hurt in his eyes. I felt the pain and hurt. He had told me on our first date he had always wanted to be a teacher and to have it ripped away from him must be gut wrenching. 

"I'm so sorry thorin" I told him and I truthfully was. 

" what happened I asked reluctantly I didn't want to upset him again or cause him anymore pain reliving the events of the day. 

He looked at me and began to shift uncomfortably and I instantly knew what had happened, guilt welled up inside me. I Began to feel hot tears at the corners of my eyes, and quickly wiped them away. This was all my fault. The moment I met him I began to screw with his life. 

" I'm so sorry you got sacked because of me" I apologised trying to keep my voice even I didn't want him to feel bad because I was upset and I knew he would. 

" I didn't exactly get sacked my boss had an anomous tip off that a teacher was dating a criminal and they gave him a Web page to check out and he recognised you from the engagement party. he asked me to finish it with you because it was only a matter of time before the parents found out and complained about me dating you. Saying I was promoting violence. So I told him I love you more than anything and I would never leave you and walked out. I love you" he said sternly. 

" I love you too your my everything I told him" and we got up held hands and made our way home.


	50. everyone needs comfort sometimes

__

__

I felt a little confused then the memory's of the day came flooding back and I remained where I was with my head in his lap as he stroked my hair.

" how you feeling baby?" He asked with a worried look on his face.

" I'll be fine everything will be ok" I said trying to sound upbeat.

" you don't have to be strong with me hun" he told me tenderly planting a kiss on my lips.

I gave him a little smile " teaching is all I know, and I was damn good at it, what do I do now?" I asked looking into his eyes.

" you sit there and let me take care of you tonight and worry about it tomorrow" he uttered.

He run his hands up my back under my shirt his hands were warm and sent excited sparks through my body. I sat up to allow him better access to my body.

His hands reached to my chest and he began exploring my chest with his hands and Began rolling my nipples in my fingers.

I felt my cock began to harden And I was starting to feel my cock uncomfortable in the confinement of my trousers. 

He started to button my shirt, and once it was off chucked it onto the coffee table. 

He started to lick my chest and play with my hardened nipples running them in between his teeth pulling a little and lapping at the playfully. 

" kili so good" I uttered my breath started to hitch. 

He began rubbing my clothed erection, I started to pant and kili gave me a cheeky smile. 

" let's get these off baby" he purred and began tugging at my trousers and inched them down little by little teasingly, and tossed them onto the coffee table to join the shirt. 

The only thing left was my boxers, he inched them down a little and released my cock from my underwear I was rock hard and was leaking pre cum. 

" So hard for me " he uttered and took my tip into the warmth of his mouth he began teasing my slit with his tongueand lapped up my pre cum 

He took me deeper and l began to lick up and down my sword making me want to cry out in delight, he began to fondle my balls as he sucked. I began to move my hips and buck into his mouth. 

He ran his teeth along my cock running his tongue behind which caused my to gasp out a pleasure moan. 

I could feel myself become close and he increased the suction on my cock. I thrust hard into his mouth and came hard into his throat finishing with a deep grunt. 

" So beautiful baby" he praised kiss behind my ear and trailing his tongue down my neck and sucking marks into my neck, marking me as his own. 

" oh sweetheart that's so hot" I gushed and his tongue slipped into my mouth and he began kissing me deeply, I could taste my salty juices on my tongue as he explored my mouth he pulled away and gave me a little smile.

" god I'm so hard" he uttered and took off his vest top revealing his tattooed arms in there full glory. I started to kiss his arms making my way up his arms and kissing his lips.

" on your back hun" he said in a confident voice whilst removing his black boot cut jeans and underwear leaving him completely bare.

I did as I was told and shifted my bum towards the edge of the sofa and opened my legs wide so he could access my hole easily.

He reached towards the coffee table And opened a tub of Vaseline. He coated up his fingers and gently began to circle my hole.

Kili then gently began to breach me with his middle finger and started to stroke my insides with the digit as he began to thrust In and out with it, my body was tingling with desire And need, I let out a Deep groan as he started to quicken the pace. 

" another please kee another" I groaned . 

He happily complied and added a second finger to my heat and continued thrusting at the same pace. He started to curl his fingers and thrust against my special place. 

" holy hell" I called out as I felt pleasure filled me up. 

He continued to hit that spot my hips bucked and I started to fuck myself on his fingers causing them to go deeper and I was screaming with blissful delight. 

" feel kili feel me" I cried In desperation. 

He slowly pulled out his fingers and I felt surprisingly empty and let a cry of want and need. 

" It's ok sweetie I'll soon feel you up" he purred. 

I pulled my knees up to my chest so he would have easier access to my hole and gave him a smile. 

He lined himself up with my entrance and began to slowly insert his cock into me, I relaxed my body and looked into his eyes. I could see the passion behind them. 

Once he was fully inserted he began to slowly move inside of me. 

" god so tight" he cried as he thrust against my prostate. 

I started to buck my hips against his shaft seeking more pleasure against the spot. He began to increase the speed and I began to quicken my bucking to match his pace. 

" Harder harder" I ordered and he smiled and began to pound my hole with more force he wrapped his arms around my waist to steady himself.

My eyes Began to go out of focus as i felt an intense heat over whelm me. It was at this point I realised that I had got so lost in the pleasure that my young love had given me I hadn't realised I had grown hard again and was on the verge of spilling my load all over both of us.

I could feel he was near his cock began to twitch and he grasped my hips he continued to thrust as his movements became erratic and he came heavy inside my warm furnace, his pupils had began to roll as his body gave it's self in to absolute pleasure his lips were parted. And he muttered my name. 

This was too much for me and my balls began to tighten and I spilled my seed over the both of us heavy over us. 

He lent down and began to lick my seed of of my chest as I closed my eyes and felt my self begin to relax. 

I may have lost my job but I knew I would get by as long as I had kili I was the luckiest man in the world


	51. What's the surprise

We sat on the sofa having a quick fag my resolution to give up smoking had gone to shit after that call yesterday but maybe when we married I'd be the perfect husband and give up then I found myself thinking with a grin on my face.

Thorin who usually didn't smoke that heavy was smoking a lot, since the news about his job he hadn't mentioned it and seemed to Want to focus all his energy on my surprise trip.

"where are we going" I asked for the tenth time in ten minutes, thorin had woke me up stupidly early with breakfast and said he had a surprise.

" I'm not telling you buttercup a surprise is a surprise" he said with a sparkle in his eye.

" please baby Tell me" I moaned.

He leaned towards my face and kissed my nose " nope he teased" and laughed at my disappointed face and got off the sofa to check is suitcase one more time.

" but I don't know if I have packed the right things" I said hoping he would give me a little information.

"Nice try sweetie but I'm not telling you" he beamed walking over and stealing a kiss from me.

" oh you tease" I said and gave is ass a slap but smiling at him.

" I kinda like it when you do that " he laughed giving me a dirty smile and a wink. 

" Mr Durin your suppose to be a teacher" I joked and instantly Wanted to hit my head against the table as I tempered about yesterday.

I looked at his face and saw the pained look flash across it.

" Shit I'm sorry" I apologised feeling guilty as hell and wanting even more to knock myself out for being so thoughtless.

" hey is fine, don't worry about it, it's one of these things in sure I'll fine something I love just as much" he reassured me wrapping his arms around my shoulder and kissing a sensitive spot behind my ear.

" you will always be a teacher to me you have taught me so much about myself and life in the past few months and I love you so much for helping bring the old kili back to life, I feel like my life has meaning again and that at least someone cares if I Live or die and I love you so much because of that your my everything my soul mate and I want to grow old with you" I told him truthfully looking into his eyes.

" oh your soppy thing" he beamed with tears rolling Down his face, and brought me into an embrace. 

We stayed like this for a couple of minutes then thorin pulled apart.

" I'm just going to double check that I have packed everything" he told me sounding a little disappoint.  
I was excited to be taking our first couple trip together but also very nervous. It was the first time I had been on a proper holiday with out my family sure we hadn't been anywhere special just to see my grand parents.

It had been years since I had thought about my grandparents. It had been years since I had thought about my grandparents properly god I didn't even know if they were alive both sets were strict Catholics and had wrote me of they day I did I got arrested. Stop it I scolded myself today was about going away with my boyfriend not about thinking about my past. 

" sweetie you ready to go" thorins voice called as he put his head around the door and gave me a smile.

" yes" I squeaked feeling excited and full of beans about the unknown adventure.

He walked into the room and gave me a kiss on the lips. 

" let's go" he beamed. 

I heaved my suitcase out the door, due to the fact I didn't know where I was going I had pack a large variety of clothing everything from swimming trunks to a thick coat. 

I got to the car and hauled my suitcase into the boot of the car, thorin smiled and slid his just on top. 

" I..i should warn you if we are going on a plan my closterphobia may play up if it does just don't leave me" I stuttered feeling nervous. 

" promise you i won't" he uttered wrapping his arms around my waist. 

my mobile starting ringing from my pocket and i pulled it out it was an anomous number And I felt my happiness drain a little. 

" hello" I answered trying to sound upbeat 

" raven it's thanduil do you want to meet up at 12 to buy me lunch? He more ordered than asked. 

" I..I er can't thorins taking me away" I told him as thorin kissed my cheek with his arms still wrapped around around my waist. 

" could you not spare me any time before you go" he said said sweetly. 

Thorin shock his head and tapped his watch. 

" sorry we haven't got enough time we" but I didn't get to finish what I was saying because thorin began eunning his tongue over ran over a practically ticklish spot of my neck and I began to giggle. 

" thorin nah stop it" I called sounding like a giggling school girl as he decided to use his hands to continue the tickle attack on me. 

" stop it I'm going to wet myself" I shouted thorough giggles just as thorins neighbour opened the door . 

thorin immediately let go of me " morning Mr Andrews" he said cheerfully as I flushed red with embrassment. 

I looked at my phone and saw the call had ended I felt a little guilty but decided not not to let it get to me. 

" you got everything buttercup" he asked beaming at me. 

"Where we going I asked again" hoping I caught him of guard. 

" your such a child" he joked kissing my nose. 

He went around and opened the passenger door for me. 

" such a gentleman" I beamed getting into the car. 

He ran around and got into the other side of the car and started the engine. 

I suddenly realised I felt tired due the stupidly early wake up call and felt my eyes droop next thing I knew I was being woke by a gentle shake. 

" kee sweetheart you got to wake up" he said gently putting our heads together and brushing his lips against mine. 

Where...where are we" I yawned rubbing my eyes. 

" The airport I will tell you where we are going now if you like?" He said beaming. 

" yes please" I asked excited bouncing. 

He gave me a huge grin " were going to Ireland"


	52. Will you marry me here

as we walked out the airport I saw the happiness in kili's eyes as he looked around.

" I can't believe we're here, thank you so much baby" he uttered wrapping his arms around my neck and kissing me on the lips.

" your welcome sweetheart" I beamed the sparkle in his eyes make my heart want to burst with happiness. He looked joyful.

I looked around for our curtsy car God I hated airport car parks I usual ended up walking around for hours so was surprised to find our car fairly near. 

" this is our car for the weekend" I smiled at my lover. 

" is that... is that a Mercedes?" He asked astonished. 

I nodded proudly and unlocked the gun metal grey soft roof car with the roof down, it had black leather seats and wooden dashboard. 

" Jesus there is so many buttons" he said excitedly click lots of different buttons, and jumping a mile when the built in sat navigation started talking. 

" your such a big kid" I uttered as he immediately started fiddling with the radio. 

" no I'm not I'm just curious And anyway if I was a kid you wouldn't be Having sex with me" he joked sticking his tongue at me. 

I rolled my eyes and reversed out the space. 

" so our we staying in Dublin or going somewhere else? He inquired still fiddling with the radio. 

" carlow that's the other part oh babe can you turn it up I love this song" I beamed at him. 

He turned it up and looked out the window. 

" love Creepers I saw the original line up when they were unknown, there old singer and guitarist was so much better I mean there amazing but back then my god they were incredible" I said smiling at him then realised he looked upset. 

" kee whats wrong sweetheart?" I asked feeling concerned how quick his mood had changed. 

" nothing babe I'm fine" he said giving me a false smile, then returning his gaze to look out the window again. 

I saw a car park and signalled to pull over. 

" darling I know somthing is wrong please tell me" I asked taking his hand in my hand and running my fingers along his hand in what I hoped was a reassuring way. 

He took a deep breath " that band the creepers I was the old lead guitarist and vocalist and I wrote this song, it should be me singing this god damn song not someone else" he said getting angry. 

" Shit that was you, sorry sweetie" I turned off the radio. 

" It's not the fact it's not me singing, it's the fact that I wrote that God damn song that's my song and they haven't even put my name down on the fucking cd all there early stuff I wrote and have had not credit for any of it" he thundered. 

I lent over the car and wrapped him in my arms. 

" Shit me and my stupid mouth" I cursed getting angry at myself. 

" there was no way for you to know it's fine and hey if I stayed in the band I would never of met you" he smiled and kissed me on the lips. 

" that's true" I beamed and started the engine again. 

" So what are we doing in carlow?" He inquired curiously. 

" It's a surprise but I can assure you will love buttercup" I beamed at him. 

"Ok hot dog" he replied giving me an innocent look. 

I raised my eyebrow and my lover "hot dog? Why hot dog? " I asked. 

" you call me buttercup I'll call you hot dog" he stated. 

" But you are a buttercup, butter cups are bright and you bring a brightness to my life your my little buttercup" I explained. 

" and your my hotdog just coz I think it suits you" he laughed. 

I rolled my eyes and let out a Deep laugh. 

" So I have been wondering for a while who is the dominate one in our relationship. Every relationship has a more dominate person" he joked. 

" oh you are so my bitch, I want you in a white dress for our wedding and a Veal" I joked back. 

" how rude I am not your bitch you bastard " he said making his voice go High and flicked his hair pretending to sulk. 

" forgive me buttercup, please forgive me, say your forgive me" I pleaded eyes twinkling and grinning. 

" your have to earn it later won't you?" He purred 

" I certainly will do" I promised as we signaled left following the sat navigation guidance. 

" It's so beautiful here, I've not been to carlow before" kili told me Leaning his head back so his hair would blow in the wind smiling. 

"it is beautiful" I admitted gazing at the scenery as we got into carlow. 

There were huge hills in the background and fields containing nothing but animals and crops there were little streams as we moved on up the road we went over a little bridge which had a stream underneath. 

"I wish I had grown up in the countryside it's so peaceful and quiet" he said wish fully. 

" that pubs amazing" I pointed out as we passed a old thatched pub with a lovely rose garden outside and cartwheels, it had wooden Benches outside and a large beers garden at the side. 

" let's buy it you can be the bar man and I'll do the cooking " kili joked pointing at the for sell sign. 

" yes and we can change the name to buttercups" I teased and he lightly swatted my arm. 

I took a turning on the right just after the pub and followed the path and then the beautiful castle came into view it was picture perfect and I heard kili gasp In awe as we pulled upm 

" this is stunning are we staying here?" He asked and I nodded. 

" Sweetheart there is something else I want to ask you i mean you can say no if you want don't worry but er" I said nervously and glanced at his face. 

He grasped my hands and looked in my eyes, I looked into those warm loving eyes and found my confidence return. 

" they have got a free slot on December the 23rd this year and I was wondering if you would do be the honour of becoming my husband on December the 23rd" I uttered in one breath and looked at him nervously. 

It took him a couple of seconds then the biggest grin spread across his face " nothing would make me happier" and he lent across and kissed me on the lips.


	53. Christmas wedding

we walked into The entrance hall I looked around in awe it was an old fashioned grand entrance hall, with tapestries and shields on the stone walls, the decorations were kept very traditional. There were animal fur rugs and a huge open fire, I could picture a huge roaring fire bringing warmth into the room and a garland over the fire and a huge Christmas tree.

Thorin watched me as I moved my head around the room, I loved everything about it and knew it was prefect.

" what do you think" he asked nervously.

" I can just picture it babe, it's prefect" I beamed at him.

I spotted an old guitar and couldn't help but go over and pick it up and start tuning it. 

" do you play" A man's voice spoke from behind me with an Irish accent and I hurriedly put down the guitar.

" I'm. . I'm sorry I didn't mean to fiddle" I apologised nervously.

" It's quite alright my names James nesbitt I own the castle" he said putting his hand out and I took it.

The man had thining hair which was black but was grey in places , he was an average height thin man with large eyes and ears that stuck out a little, he wore jeans and a short sleeved rugby shirt and black glasses.

" It's amazing" I uttered.

" it is quite beautiful it's been in my family for years, me and my wife live here but there's so many rooms so we use it as a hotel and have weddings here which my wife organised as she's a wedding planner" he told me smiling. 

Just then thorin walked over from signing us in.

" Thorin this is James, James this is my fiancé Thorin" I interduced them.

" ah yes we spoke via email, I'm pleased to meet you welcome to Huntington castle" he smiled shaking thorins hand. 

" would you like to follow me I'll show you around and my wife will meet us in the dinning room later" he explained as we followed him out of the entrance hall and out of the castle. 

" So how did you guys meet" he asked smiling at us as we walked across a stunning court yard it had a huge water fountain In the centre. the sun beaming down on us. 

" kili worked in a coffee shop and served me I knew he was someone special when I first saw him and that night I went to a friends bar and it was open mic night the second I heard kili sing and play his guitar I was hooked" thorin told him holding my hand as he did 

" ahh so you do play the guitar" he beamed at me. 

I felt myself flush and nodded. 

We walked in silence through the rose gardens it was beautiful and I lent down and smelt a pink rose it had a sweet smell to it almost like perfume, there were roses of every colour and there was a statue of a stag in the centre and a stone bench. 

We walked into a small building just off the side of the garden, it was made of white stone and had a black door. 

James pushed the door and held it open for us. 

" this is the barn, this is where a lot of our couples get married you can decorate it how ever you like" he smiled. 

It had white walls and black lowered beams, it was quite plain but calm and beautiful too. 

" oh my god I can see it thorin, we could wrap Holly and ivy around the beams with fairy lights. I can just picture a huge Christmas tree in the corner" I babbled excitedly. 

" maybe we should have Christmas as our theme" he beamed at me. 

" yes I love that idea, I haven't celebrated Christmas in twelve years" I confessed wrapping my arms around his waist. 

I could see the sympathy in his face as he looked down at me and wrapped his arms around me.

" It's going to be the best Christmas ever, we're make it prefect" He promised kissing my lips. 

" I'll take that as a you want to book it" the Irish man laughed 

Thorin looked at me and smiled and brushed my hair out of my face " would you like to get married here darling ?" He asked. 

I looked into his eyes and beamed " yes this is the place I agreed happily. 

We walked Back up to the castle and returned to the reception area. 

A thin lady with curly blonde hair tied in a signion was sat in a velvet sofa with a golden metal frame. She was curvy and wore a black maxi dress. " I'm Sonia James wife" she said holding her hand out for thorin. 

" hello I'm Thorin and this is Kili my fiancé" I smiled. 

Sonia took my hand smiling. 

" we will be so happy to have your wedding here, it will be our first gay wedding" she beamed. 

We walked into a huge library with every type of book you could think of in book cases that ran up to the ceiling, there was not an ounce of wall room left. 

In the centre there was a large varnished table with heavy chairs around the outside we all took a seat around it. 

Thorin seemed in his element surrounded by books, I watched as he skipped over title after title with his Eyes,and had a massive smile of delight on his face. 

" they have a first addition of Shakespeare a midsummer nights dream I love that book" he babbled excitedly. 

I rolled my eyes " you are such a geek" I joked receiving a tap to my arm. 

James poured us all some tea and brought out some biscuits and put it in the centre of the table. 

"Help yourself to biscuits" Sonia beamed. 

I beamed back and helped my self to some short bread. 

" now how many guests are you inviting" Sonia asked us both. 

We both exchanged uneasy looks having not really discussed any parts of our wedding. 

" I was thinking about 80, how about you kee is 80 ok with you? " He asked. 

I thought about it I'd be lucky if I even managed to get 5 guests of my own. 

" 80 would be fine" I said with a false smile on my face. 

Thorin seemed to read my mind and squeezed my hand reassuringly. 

" I don't care how many people are there as long as my kili is there that's all that matters" he stated bringing my hand still in his up to his lips and kissing it.

I beamed at him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

" So would you like a sit down meal or a seasonal buffet?" She asked.

"Buffet" we chorused at the same time and both started giggling as she wrote notes down on to a note pad.

" And would you like us to organise the cake or do you want to? She asked.

" I will make it" I beamed at thorin

he looked shocked initially then beamed " of course you must kili is a amazing cook he beamed".

" that's wonderful and flowers do you want to sort that out or us?" She asked.

" We would like a proper Christmas wedding loads of trees, fairy lights a proper winter wonderland but yellow button holes" thorin said smiling at me As I raised my eye brows.

" yellow flowers why yellow flowers?" The Irish man asked curiously. God ground swallow me up I thought as I felt myself flush pink as I realised why he wanted yellow flowers. " because kili is my little buttercup" he smiled. "Awwwwww" they both said at the same time. my pink flushed even more red and I buried my face into thorins arm kicking his leg as I did.

" What about a yellow ponsetta as button holes" she suggested. 

"Perfect" thorin smiled. 

"Well we have got go enough information to give you a price and then we can sign some papers" Sonia smiled. 

" now price wise we are talking about five thousand but for that price we will included the catering, flowers and decorations and also I am registered to preform the wedding so that will be included". She beamed smiling and us both. 

I felt disappointment fill me up, five thousand pounds for a day, was so much money. But to my surprise I looked at thorins face and he was beaming. 

"Five thousand is fine I'll pay the whole balance now is card ok" he asked. 

I looked at him in shock I had no idea thorin had this type of money in his bank account. 

" that's fine if we could sign some papers and we can go back to the reception area and pay . 

We signed the papers and thorin went and paid and we were shown to our room. 

As the doors shut I looked at thorin. 

" can we afford this" I asked with a worried frown on my face. 

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders " Sweetheart I paid using my account that all the stuff for durins restrant it's about thirty thousand in credit don't worry" he smiled said kissing my neck. 

" Jesus thorin I had know idea you had that type of money " I gushed. 

" we have that type of money" he corrected me running his hand through my hair. 

" Let's go to that pub For dinner my treat" I beamed as he kissed behind my ear. 

" That leaves us a few hours" he smiled and gave me a devilish grin and lead me to the bed. 

The next few hours I was in immense pleasure as thorin made love to me.


	54. pub

we got out the shower I eyed kili up and down taking in every beautiful feature.

I loved the way his long brown wavy hair trail ed down his back, I loved his muscly arms with his beautiful tribal designs on. But most of all I loved the way he was unaware how gorgeous he was. 

I trailed kissed down his back. 

" you are so beautiful sweetheart" I told him wrapping my hands around his shoulders, he lent his head back against me. 

" nonsense your the beautiful one I still can't believe your with me I'm so lucky " he gushed smiling. 

I frowned and turned him to face me " you are beautiful your the most beautiful man I have ever seen, and I'm the lucky one" I told him tilting our heads together. 

I could look into his dreamy chocolate eyes for hours, I brushed our lips together and brought him into a tender kiss. 

" my main meaning in life is to look after you baby" I told him. 

He lent his head on my shoulder " your my everything too" he said kissing my neck. 

We stood like this for a while then his phone rang. 

He picked it and answered " hello" he said a little irritated 

I watched his expression as the other person on the other end spoke. 

" I can't thanduil I'm in Ireland, look I have to go were back Tuesday I'll talk to you then" he said getting angry and hung up. 

The romantic atmosphere had completely gone as I saw the anger in his face. 

I let out a sigh and walked into the huge bedroom, it had deep purple walls with metal tree wall art just up above the black leather headboard which was attached to a wooden king size bed. The floor was dark varnished wooden flooring and there was a large black leather sofa with a black glass coffee table and a mini fridge in the corner. 

I wrapped a large fluffy white towel around my waist and walked over to the mini fridge taking out a bottle of champagne and some strawberries out that I had requested to be put in there. 

" sexy would you like a glass of champagne and some strawberries" I asked in an attempt to get back the romantic atmosphere. 

" yes please" he replied walking back into the room and towel drying his hair. 

I poured us both a large glass and handed his, I dipped a strawberry into my hand and held it out for him he opened his mouth and I dropped it into his mouth he licked my fingers as I did so. 

" baby that telephone call sounded a little heated are you ok ? " I asked worried 

" It's fine thorin, I'm fine just leave it" he snapped and walked over to his suitcase. 

I felt like he had punched me in the stomach and walked out onto the private balcony with my champagne and smokes and sparked up a cigarette looking over the gardens. 

Ever since Thanduil had came into our life's he had complicated things, he had nearly broken us up we weren't even in the same country as him and the creepy bastard still managed to cause problems. 

After a couple minutes kili came out in a white dressing gown and wrapped his arms around my waist and lent his head on my back. 

" I'm sorry for snapping hunny" he apologised holding me tight. 

I let out a sigh " It's ok, I just hate the way since he has been in our life's he has caused nothing but trouble Between us" I told him clutching his hand in mine. 

" I need to talk to him when we get back, I don't want him in our life's, If it means I'm going to lose you and i can't lose you, your my everything" he told me spinning me around to look at him. 

" look you don't have to if you don't want to, I want you to have friends I just don't trust him there's something about him kili somthing that isn't right, he's trying to take you away from me I just know it" I confessed holding his hand. 

" shhhh baby your not going to lose me I'm not going any where babes" he soothed reassuringly and kissed the nape of my neck. 

I stubbed out the cigarette and we walked into the bedroom. 

" no more talk of losing me we are on our first mini break together and I promised you a meal so let's get dressed and let's go" he ordered with a smile on his face. 

" oh I think I like assertive kili, I find it very very sexy" I admitted kissing his lips. 

" buttercup have you got any sexually kinks or desires?" I suddenly asked smiling. 

He flushed red at this question I had noticed before that he could sometimes get a little uncomfortable to talk about sex where I was more open. 

He shook his head " have you?" He asked in a low voice but looked at me with interest. 

I laughed " well you have already seen a few I like to use toys bondage that type of thing. But I also have a thing about a man in ladies panties and stockings there is nothing like a man in a thong" I told him confidently feeling my cock twitch with excitement at this. 

I saw him redden and shift uncomfortably " but I don't expect you to do any of this baby I love you for you" I reassured him kissing his lips. 

He seemed to brighten up at this and started to get dressed. 

I looked into my suit case and pulled out a pair of blue jeans a black shirt that I knew kili liked as it showed of my arms, It was a warm evening so no jacket was required. 

I looked at kili and smile as I saw his choice of outfit. 

He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans with his doc martins and a nickel back vest shirt showing off his tattooed arms, he wore a black necklace with his black guy liner " love your hair like that" I replied and run my fingers through is long brown locks. 

" you ready hotdog" he asked taking his hands off my arms. 

" ready" I smiled taking his hand and we made our way down the wooden stairs to the reception area. 

James was taking to the ladie at reception and smiled as we worked down the stairs. 

" you two off anywhere nice?" He asked smiling at us. 

" were off to the pub, for a meal" I replied. 

I liked James him and his wife seemed like happy people and I knew our wedding was going to be prefect. 

" Sonia and myself are on our way down there in a minute would you like a lift" he offered smiling at us both. 

" that would be great if..If you don't mind" kili said nervously. 

" not at all, I'll just go and find Sonia then we're go" he beamed and left returning five minutes later with his wife. 

" such a shame that the owners have to sell it its such a beautiful pub" Sonia said as we drove down the road towards the pub. 

" why are they selling" I asked. 

" Graham the guy that owns it is returning to Scotland his mother is ill and he is returning to look after her, so sad really this bar is his everything" James answered. 

This got me thinking about mine and kili's previous conversation from earlier, I decided at that moment we needed this bar and I would talk to the owner, I knew it would make my kili happy and his happiness was my everything, and I would give it him as a wedding gift. 

We pulled into the crowded car park and got out the car. 

" is it always this busy?" I asked trying to make it sound like I was just being nosey and not inquiring from a business point of view. 

" its not always this busy but is a popular pub, but there having a music contest later and it is a Friday night" Sonia pointed out. 

I held kili's hand and we walked inside. 

I was a old fashioned type of pub it was painted red, with a cherry red wooden bar and matching bar stools and booths, even the tables were matching. 

"Would.. would you like to join us for dinner?" Kili stuttered nervously. 

" we would love to" sonia smiled and we slipped into a booth. 

"What you drinking first rounds on me" I offered. 

And they put in there orders and James offered to give me a hand. 

" which one is the owner? I asked as we qued to be served. 

" that guy there why you going to buy the place" he joked and pointed at a tall stocky built man behind the bar. 

He looked at my face as I smiled at him " Jesus you are thinking of buying it" he exclaimed. 

" I am but do not tell kili it's a wedding gift" I beamed. 

"Hello friend what can I get you" the Scottish man asked. 

I decided just to get down to business and skip the formalities " id like to buy your pub, how much were you asking for it?". 

" aye I need to sell as soon as possible the asking price is €175,000" he told me shocked at forward I was being. 

" I will give you €185,000 but cannot do much about it until I return to London on Tuesday is that ok" I asked beaming. 

" aye sounds golden the names Graham mctavish" he said holding out his hand. 

" I'm Thorin Durin" I beamed at him taking his hand to shake. 

" oh there's one other thing please don't mention this to my fiancé other there its a surprise" I smiled. 

" aye can do that, what are you drinking tonight?" He inquired and i putting in our order. 

It was a lovely evening the nesbitt's were easy going people, and we were talking as if we had known each other for years. the food was lovely really home cooked food I had a steak and ale pie with chips and kili had a shepherds pie. 

The pub began to get if possible even more busy 

" what's happening?" I asked as all the tables filled. 

" there's a music competition first prize is a bottle of wine and some chocolates " he said and took a swig of ale. 

" how about you win us that wine sweetie?" I smiled. 

I saw his unsure look on his face as I said this and immediately felt a little guilty. 

" I'm only joking sweetheart" I reassured him. 

He paused for a few minutes and smiled " I'm going to win this thing" he said confidently and went and signed himself up. 

A few people went on and then his name was called to join a little que to preform 

" good luck baby break a leg" I smiled and gave him a kiss on the lips. 

" god I hope not" he said nervously. 

He walked up to the que by the little stage at the front he looked nervous. He closed his eyes and I noticed him doing his usual breathing exercises. 

He looked lost with out his guitar and I lent foward to talk to James. 

" mate would anyone have a guitar, he looks lost with out it" I asked hopefully. 

He thought about it for a few seconds " Graham might, his wife plays I think" he answered. 

I walked up to the bar " excuse me you haven't got a guitar my fiancé could burrow have you" I asked the Scottish man a few seconds later he returned with an old battered looking guitar. 

"Sorry that's the best I can do my wife's good one is in the flat Above" he apologised. 

" prefect thank you" I smiled and walked up to kili who was next on. 

" love here" I said handing him the guitar. 

I could instantly see him begin to relax and let out a huge sigh of relief. 

" knock them dead" I smiled before he could say anything and walked back to my seat. 

He walked up into the stage in front of the mic. 

" hi I'm..I'm kili I'm going to sing Aerosmith I don't want to miss a thing so here it is" he said nervously. 

" is he always this nervous?" Sonia asked as kili quickly tuned in the guitar. 

" he's not had the easiest life and suffers with his nerves alot" I answered not taking my eyes off of kili. 

he began strumming the instrument and returned back to the mic. 

He closed his eyes and began to take deep breaths when he opened them his eyes scanned the room and locked on my face, he gave me a little smile and opened his mouth and began to sing " 

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing Watch you smile while you are sleeping While you're far away and dreaming I could spend my life in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure 

Don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 

'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating And I'm wondering what you're dreaming, Wondering if it's me you're seeing Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together And I just wanna stay with you In this moment forever, forever and ever 

I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 

'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 

I don't wanna miss one smile I don't wanna miss one kiss Well, I just wanna be with you Right here with you, just like this 

I just wanna hold you close I feel your heart so close to mine And just stay here in this moment For the rest of time, yeah, yeah, yeah! 

Don't wanna close my eyes Don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 

'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 

I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 

'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do and I'd still miss you, baby And I don't wanna miss a thing 

Don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep, yeah I don't wanna miss a thing I don't wanna miss a thing" 

The whole pub erupted in applause and he bowed. 

"God he really is talented" James uttered. 

Kili made his way through the crowd via the bar to hand the scot back the guitar and wrapped his arms around me. 

" you were brilliant as always buttercup" I told him kissing his cheek. 

" thank you" he said shyly leaning his head on my shoulder. 

After a few more minutes I was beginning to feel a little tired my eyes were starting to go. I looked down to find kili had fallen a sleep on my shoulder, I could help but smile. 

" love let's go back to our room" I whispered as I gently shock him. 

" Ok " he said between yawns. 

" I'll take you back" sonia offered with I great fully excepted five minutes later we both clasped onto the bed and cuddled into each other.


	55. kili's embarrassment

I need to go to the bank today sweetheart, do you want to stay here or come to Dublin with me?" Thorin asked, while doing the buttons up on his purple shirt I loved so much.

" oh Dublin sounds good it's been years since I was last in Dublin" I babbled excitedly.

" Ok how about I go to the bank, you can do a little exploring Then we can meet outside the bank and go for lunch and do a little shopping is that ok baby?" He asked beaming at me.

" prefect " I smiled kissing his cheek and wrapping my arms around his waist. 

Since he had said the day before I couldn't get the idea of his little kink out of my head, the thought to start with had seemed a little odd to me but the more I thought about the more open I was to the idea. 

" what you thinking about sweetie" he asked smiling. 

" you" I beamed back smiling and started looking on the coffee table for my smokes. 

" what about me?" he inquired with a grin ear to ear on his face. 

I felt myself beginning to flush red I was not going to admit I was thinking about indulging in his kink and letting him ravage me later. 

" about the day we met" I lied all though I did think about that day alot. 

"What about it" he asked as I offered him a smoke and he excepted. 

We walked out on to the balcony, it was already hot and it was only 9.30 am, I sparked up and looked out at the gardens. 

" about what a nervous babbling idiot I was" I stated still looking at the view. 

" you were but not an idiot I mean your were nervous as hell and did stutter a lot but I thought it was kind of cute, I still do think Is sweet when you stutter" he replied taking a drag off of his cigarette. 

"I find it annoying, it reminds me of being a child, everyone else talking fine and me with my bloody stutter, it used to be alot worse though. Now its when I am nervous or upset really" I told him bitterly. 

" sweetie it's not you fault know ones perfect and anyway I like it I think it's cute" he reasured me kissing my cheek. 

"At least someone does" I muttered. 

" So any ideas where your going to go when I get the joys of the bank" he said stubbing out his smoke. 

" I might just chill out have a coffee or two and read in one of there cafes" I told him beaming. 

" sounds like heaven" he said wistfully. 

" why do you have to go to the bank anyway?" I asked taking one last drag of the smoke and stubbing it out. 

" just to talk about finances for the wedding I will make sure you have the prefect day" he promised brushing his lips against mine and bringing me into a kiss. 

"Thorin I....I have to confess I have never been to a wedding" I admitted feeling myself flush slightly. 

Thorin raised an eyebrow " never?" He said astounded. 

" never" I admitted. 

" that is so sweet so the first wedding you ever go to will be ours, I'm going to make sure it's even more special" he told me holding my hand. 

We made our way out of the room and down the stairs into the car park, I walked across the stoned court yard towards the car. 

Thorin chucked the keys and I caught them looking at him a little confused. 

" do you want to drive" he asked chuckling at the astounded look on my face. 

" hell yes, can...can I really drive it?" I asked bouncing on the balls of my heels With excitement. 

"Course you can buttercup" he told me beaming getting into the passenger side and putting on a pair of sunglasses. 

I got into the drivers seat and could feel.myself beginning to feel a little nervous. 

" Thorin I...I have driven three cars in my life, this car is worth a lot what...what if I crash it" I said worried. 

" your be fine darling, if you really do panic I'm here and I will take over but I won't need to love" he reassured me.

I took a deep breath and began to feel myself begin to relax " ok I can do this " I told myself and started the engine and carefully backed out of the parking space I could feel myself begin to relax.

" That's it baby your doing great just keep relaxed" he encouraged me smiling. 

I instantly began to calm at the sound of Thorins voice it did that It made me feel safe and the confidence he had in me made me feel like I could do anything. 

Just over an hour later I pulled up in a multi story car park in the centre of Dublin. 

We got out of the car and I handed thorin the keys which he put in his trousers pocket.

We walked down to the bank hand in hand. The city was alive with the bustle of everyday life. A lady walked past speaking in Irish shouting at her pa apparently about a screw up at the office.

We walked past a busker playing his guitar we stopped and listened for a minute or so, he had an country music voice and I couldn't help smile as I recognised the start of Johnny cash I walk the line and chucked him some change, he just smiled and nodded and we walked on.

There were little food stalls here and there and jewellery stands with necklaces made off beads of many shapes and colours.

We reached the bank and thorin turned to look at me " I shouldn't be longer than an hour how about we meet back here in an hour and I'll treat you to lunch in a nice pub" he offered beaming at me. 

" prefect" I smiled leaning in for a kiss which he gave me willingly. 

" see You later sexy" he said giving me a wink and walking into the bank. 

I scanned my eyes over the shops, when they landed on a shop called cup cakes lingerie. I felt myself begin to get hot and my cock began to twitch with excitement as I thought about thorins kink. I found myself walking over to the shop and entering. 

It was a small shop with underwear of loads of different colours and fabrics I looked at a mannequin which was wearing a practically racey leather thong. 

i began to browse through the shop I picked up a pair of tiny hot pink underwear and frowned, it could not be comtable he thought putting it back on the rail. 

I then saw a pair of Black french knickers I picked them up now these looked ok would cover me up fine but not sexy enough and put them back.

I let out a sigh of frustration

Just then a middle aged lady came out of the stockroom. 

" good morning there how can I help you?" She asked with a large smile on her face. 

" I er I'm looking for some underwear for my... my er girlfriend" I lied managing to eventually spit it out. 

My cheeks were burning red with embarrassment, but I felt myself getting aroused at how shocked thorin would be. 

" That's great any ideas on type, material and colour" she asked Friendly, putting a hand on my shoulder and guiding me into the shop further. 

I felt completely out of my depth as I looked around the shop with my eyes widened with embarrassment. 

" um err he... I mean she likes yellow so yellow would.... would be..be great" i stuttered hoping she haven't noticed my slip up. 

She gave me an encouraging smile " no need to be nervous dear we get men in hear buying for there girlfriends all the time" she said kindly.

Yeah maybe for girlfriends but what about men buying for themselves to help for fill there fiance kink to have his man in a thong, he owes me big time for this, I thought feeling myself go even more red, I run my hands through my hair nervously.

" Now what style are you after dear g string, French knickers, thongs??"

"I...I don't know he... she likes thongs" I gushed.

I could hit myself for even coming in here. And knew thorin would wet himself after I told him after I had surprised him with his present, I was very aware that I had a visible bulge under my skinny jeans, I saw her look down to my bulge and she gave me kind smile.

" it's ok nothing to be embarrassed about" she reassured me leading me over to the thongs.

My eyes widened with horror at the thought of trying to squeeze my cock into the underwear then I saw a pair of white thongs with buttercups on and I instantly knew they were the ones they tied at the side too so would be prefect for ease at getting into them.

" these... these are perfect" I beamed taking off the underwear from the hook.

" thats great what size is she" the kind lady asked.

The smile on face faded I had no idea about ladies sizes and could not even imagine what size I would be.

" I err... i... I don't know I stuttered" beginning to worry.

I was thin for a man of my age and had know idea what size I would be, I saw the women raise an eyebrow.

" you didn't check dear?" She asked eyeing me suspiciously.

Shit she knows I thought to myself, I knew my face was bright red and ran my hands through my hair making sure it fell back down curtained my face from view.

" it's..it's for me, to surprise my fiance" I admitted gazing at the floor in embarrassed.

I heard her drop the underwear In her hand in shock.

" for you, you mean your going to wear it!!!" She said shocked. 

I nodded.

She pulled out a pair of my choosen underwear put them against me nodded, and rang it up on the till in silence I grabbed the bag and ran out of the shop.

I sat on a bench and hurried my hands in my head covering my embarrassed face.

This better be worth it I thought a small smile appearing on my face.


	56. a serious conversation

We led on bed wrapped in each other arms kili had his eyes shut and his head lend against my heart, I traced one of his tattoos with my finger, and began to hum an odd tune that was on the radio on the way back to the hotel.

He looked so peaceful and happy with his hair fanned across my chest, I lent down and placed a kiss to his brow, his stomach gave a huge growl.

" Baby your stomach is talking we best get you some dinner" i said as he grasped my wrist.

" let's just order some room service, and Watch a movie" he suggested looking at me with a look what I just couldn't resist. 

i let out a chuckle, and picked up the phone " if sir what's room service then sir gets room service" I joked dialing for the reception desk. 

" damn right" he replied giving me one of his cheeky smiles and I playful swated his arm. 

We ordered pizza and a chocolate fudge sundae each, and a bottle of red to share. 

"What film do you want darling" I asked grabbing the remote And started flicking through the channels aimlessly. 

"have they got films on demand oh if they have what about harry potter?" He asked smiling. 

" harry potter? If that's what you want babe" I replied in truth I had watched all the Harry potter films a dozen times with my niece and nephews. 

"I've never seen harry potter" he muttered looking a little embarrassed. 

" then we must watch harry potter" I said letting out a little chuckle at the exstatic look on his face 

The door knocked and a kind looking grey gentleman brought in our food.

" is there anything else I can get you gentlemen tonight" he asked politely.

" that's everything, thank you" I beamed and gave him a 20 euro tip.

I put the sundaes in the fridge and brought the pizza over to the bed we each took a bit.

It smelled absolutely and looked divine, It was gooey and the cheese was bubbling,with lots of red sauce. It was topped with ham, pineapple and mushrooms all on top of a thick crust.

The taste lived up to the smell, the combination of the melted cheese mixed with the meats and pineapple was mouth watering delicious. 

" this pizza is amazing" kili exclaimed happily and took another bite.

" it is I agreed" wrapping my arm around his shoulders. 

who are we going to invite to this gorgeous castle for our amazing wedding" I asked smiling down at him. 

I saw the look on his face and instantly regretted it as I saw his happy care free expression change to one of worry and sadness. 

Kili put down his pizza on the side table and no longer seemed interested in the film.

"We can talk about it at home, it's fine" I reassured him wishing I could go back thirty seconds and not ask Him the stupid question.

" know it's..its fine we got to to talk about it at some point" he said quietly 

" so do you want fili to come" I said biting the bullet.

He looked at me I could tell he was torn with his emotions " part..part of me wants him there more than anything I mean I..i mean he's my brother I..i always thought he was going to be my best man.

"And the other part?" I asked holding him in my arms.

" The..The other part wants to..to rage some more. To shout and scream and hit until I..I have no voice left" he said and his breathing started to get heavier" as he struggled not angry just by talking about it.

I brought a kiss to his forehead and continued to hold him protectively.

"I just don't know" he shrugged his shoulders and tucked his head into my shoulder.

" Well it will be amazing either way" I reassured him with a huge smile.

" as long as your there hotdog I'm happy" he said grabbing a slice of pizza.

After a couple of minutes he looked at me with a serious expression on his face.

" Thorin I.I was wondering if...." then he seemed to lose his nerve and lowered his gaze and started shifting uncomfortably. 

I cupped his face and tilted it to look me in the eyes I could see the uncertainty In his eyes " what we're you wondering sweetheart?" I asked giving him a reassuring smile.

" I ... I was wondering if you wanted children" he finished looking straight In my eyes.

He caught me by surprise and he pulled apart from me, I could see the sadness in his eyes and he wiped them with the back of his hand and got out of bed.

" Sorry that was a stupid thing to ask" he said fumbling around on the coffee table and picking up his tobacco and rushing out to the balcony. 

I didn't know what to say and knew the longer I stayed silent the more upset kili was getting. 

I rushed out on the balcony after him " kili you can't drop a bombshell like that on me and then run away " I said grasping his arm and spinning him around. 

" just...just forget I said anything " he stuttered. 

" but I don't want to yeah of course I want kids my lovely and I want to have them with you" I told him beaming. 

His face suddenly broke into the biggest smile and wrapped his arms around my neck " you do, I do too I Want us to have a family, I love you so much" he uttered kissing my face. 

" and I love you" I said returning his embrace. 

Then his face suddenly dropped " but. ..buT they won't let me adopt because of my criminal record" I could see the tears well up in his eyes. 

He walked back inside and walked into the bathroom locking the door behind him. 

I could hear sobs from the other side of the door, it broke my heart hearing the man I love sob his heart out. 

"Love let me in" I said gently through the door. 

He didn't answer just continued to sob 

"Darling please don't shut me out, please don't cry I can't stand it when you cry" I called through the door. 

I felt like crying myself as his crying got louder. 

"I...I can't marry you, I can't give you a family and you deserve a family you..you shouldn't suffer because I'm a screw up you should find someone who can give you what you want " he sobbed. 

My heart dropped at the words he couldn't marry me, but as he continued I felt myself feel a mixture of sadness and anger. 

" damn it kili I don't want anyone else but you, i love you stop being a child and open the fucking door so we can talk it over like adults" I ordered getting angry. 

It seemed to of done the trick and he unlocked the door. 

I instantly wrapped my arms around him " listen to me I do want a family but only with you i love you baby, I want to spend the rest of life with you.we will figure it out, maybe a surrogate" I reasured him wrapping my arm around him and kissing his face. 

"But what if we can't get a surrogate, you deserve someone who can make you happy without any problems, you even lost your Job because of me. I have fucked up your life, you should leave me" he sobbed into my arms. 

I backed away and tilted his face to look at mine " listen to me you are mine, the only person I have ever loved, I want to be with you so stop feeling sorry for yourself wipe your eyes come back to the bed and let's watch harry fucking potter, got it" I said sternly. 

He gave me a small smile " yes sir he said" drying his eyes. 

" good" I uttered and downed a glass of red. 

Five minutes later kili came out of the bathroom and walked up and wrapped his arms around me. 

" sorry baby I love you" he said kissing my lips.

" love you too" I said and kissed his cheek


	57. surprise after surprise

I drove up towards the castle the sun was blazing on my back it was a beautiful day. I had come up with the idea to plan a surprise day for thorin last night.

I beamed as I thought about the ring I had in my jeans pocket I had spotted just after coming out of cupcakes lingerie in an old antiques shop , it was the most beautiful Silver ring that wrapped around in the shape of a leaf and I knew thorin would love it. 

I turned up the volume When crazy Aerosmith came on the radio and began to sing away as i drove by the pub i noticed it now had a sold sign and let out a disappointed sigh well I guess I can dream. 

I could see the castle and felt my stomach jolt with excitement I still couldn't believe that I was going to get married to the man I love in this secluded castle, I realised how blessed I was. 

I pulled up outside the castle and walked in to find thorin waiting for me in the reception area at the arranged time. 

" where we going" he asked with a massive grin across his face. 

" not telling" I joked sticking my tongue out at him. 

He was wearing a pair of black cargo pants and grey vest top his hair was wet from where he had a shower and he was wearing sun glasses. 

" please tell me" he begged. 

" So you don't like it when the roles are reversed well tough tits" I joked grabbing his hand and leading him Out to the car.

I opened the passenger door for him and he slide into the seat " thank you kind sir" he grinned.

I ran around to the other side and climbed in.  
.i reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a satin fabric rose I had brought him earlier.

" I..I was going to get you a real one but I..I thought this would last forever" I said with a nervous smile on my face.

" its beautiful thank you my darling" he smiled giving me peck on the cheek. 

" that's ok this day is going to be a day full of surprises and treats that's the first of many" I teased started the engine and enjoying the sound of it purr.

" where are we going" he asked again as we left the little village and started driving down little country lane, the scenery had become more wilder and had become more picturesque.

" I'm not telling you and you will never guess" I said and gave a false evil laugh.

" you little tease" he uttered sulking a little.

" you will love it" I promised clasping his hand and bringing it up to my lips and kissing it. I turned up the radio which was playing the rasmas guilty and started to sing along to it.

About half an hour later we pulled up outside our destination it was a stables where you could loan horses for the day. I looked at the massive smile on thorins face and my heart burst with joy at the excited expression.

" were going horse riding I haven't been on a horse for years thank you so much baby" he said happily pulling me into an embrace.

"Do you want to ride separately or together on Rufus here" I asked walking over to a stable with a large horse which I was told earlier was called a Friesian.

He was a huge black majestic horse who's coat was shiny due to being groomed he had white socked feet which were feathered he had a white main and tail.

He was a friendly horse and nosed my arm.

" I think he likes you love we have to take him" thorin said scratching Rufus nose.

half an hour later we left the stable after tacking up and putting our helmets on.

"Thank you so much buttercup this is prefect" he said gleefully wrapping An arm around my waist.

I was sat in front but he was guiding the horse.

" it..It is this is the first time i..I have ever been on a horse" I confessed looking at the view as we rode across the open field. 

" Really " he said astounded. 

I felt my face flush and just nodded stroking Rufus mane. 

" do you trust me?" He whispered in my ear. 

" always" I replied looking at his face. 

He smiled " hold on tight then" he said joyfully. 

He brought the horse into a gallop my hair flew back in the wind, it was exhilarating, my heart was pounding against my chest. 

I couldn't believe how fast we were going and everything around me seemed a blur. 

I grasped on to his main and noticed his mane blowing in the wind. I felt free like I could do anything as the horse ran across field after field. 

eventually thorin brought him back to a slow pace. 

" that was fun" he said kissing my neck. 

" can..can we do it again" I said excited my heart still hammering against my chest. 

" we can but not yet he needs to rest a little" he said laughing. 

It was then that I spotted the barn with the second surprise i had organised in side. 

"How..how do i get off him babe i..I have another surprise" I asked suddenly feeling a little nervous realising how high I was from the ground. 

just grab hold of his mane and swing your right leg around leaning forward put both legs together then just slide yourself down, you be fine buttercup" he reassured me. 

I followed his instructions and was relieved to get to the floor unharmed. 

" if you tie him to the tree I'll set up the surprise" I said walking to the barn. 

I picked up the picnic and the blanket I had brought earlier. 

The picnic comprised of a scotch egg each, some sandwiches, a share bag of crisps, some strawberry and cream, some mixed nuts,a bottle of appetiser and some polo's for the horse. 

I beamed as I came out and saw Thorin stroking Rufus, he turned as he heard my footsteps and beamed as he saw the picnic in my hands. 

" that's amazing you planned all this thank you so much my love" he gushed pulling me into his arms and planting kisses on my face. 

" anything for my beautiful husband to be" I uttered kissing his lips. 

We settled down on the blanket, thorin wrapped me in his arms and started feeding me strawberry and cream. 

"Thorin I..i was wondering if...If you would mind me taking your name when we marry" I stuttered nervously. 

He looked at me for a few seconds with a blank expression then his face broke into a massive smile " I would be honoured for you to take my surname kili Durin I like it" he said bringing his lips to mine and brushing them gentle. 

" how the hell did you organise all of this?"he asked looking curious. 

" with a little help from some friends" I replied picking up an sandwich which he took a bite out of. 

Just then my phone went off and I looked at the phone I instantly knew who it was.i felt a sudden urge of anger as i saw Thranduil number that he would interrupt this private moment and chucked my phone away from us as far as I could. 

Thorin raised an eyebrow but didn't say anymore on the subject and he fed me nut. 

"You picked a beautiful spot darling the view is beautiful" he said looking across the fields. 

"I have the prettiest view all the time" I said looking at his face and flinched at how Corney that had come out. 

He brought his lips down to mine I could feel his breath on my face and he kissed my lips again, he run his tongue across my lips and I opened my mouth a little to allow him to slip his tongue in and he began to explore my mouth. 

I pulled at his vest and pulled it above his head and began planting kisses over his toned chest, and took his nipple in my mouth and began to lap at it playfully rolling the bud with my teeth. 

" oh my god so good" he uttered his breath slightly hitched. 

He grabbed for my t shirt and pulled it over my head revealing my arms and chest. He reached up for the hair band in my hair and pulled it releasing my wild mane. 

He began running his hands up and down my torso as I did the same to him. 

" you are so gorgeous" he said looking me in the eyes. 

"would you like another surprise?" I whispered and he nodded. 

I stood up and started fiddling with the buttons on my jeans I felt both nervous as hell and excited I allowed my trousers to fall down to my ankles revealing the lace thongs with the buttercups on. 

He let out a gasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus people are really starting to like this Feeling the pressure lol hope you enjoy


	58. Build me up buttercup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Men in underwear smut

I couldn't take my eyes off of the underwear he looked beautiful in them they fitted perfectly on his thin hip bones. 

I could feel myself fully erect at the sight of him,I could tell he was excited too as he was also visibly hard. 

" is..is this ok, do..do you like it" he uttered nervously fiddling with the cords on the side keeping the thong in place.

As a reply I knelt down and started licking at the fabric that covered his bulge,I brought my hands Into the underwear and began stroking His cock.

"Jesus thorin" he groaned as I took his cock from the thong and took him fully into my mouth, I began sucking at his shaft as if it were a lollipop.

I ran my tongue along his tip I could taste the salty taste of his pre cum on my tongue and began to lap it up, I run my teeth along the inner bit of his shaft causing Friction.

He began to thrust into my mouth and I began to take his cock further down my throat and I began to hum around his dick.

Kili put his hands lent on my back I could feel he was near completion and continued to suck at his cock until he shot his load down my throat.

" does that answer your question my little minx" I grinned and began licking his inner thigh I bought my hand to his cock again and it had a ready began to recover and twitch with interest. 

" I'm going to eat out your lovely hole my buttercup" I told him looking into his chocolate eyes , smiling at the excited look on his face 

I spun him around and he got down on all fours. I began kissing along his backside and brought a kiss to his entrance causing my lover to squeal with surprise. 

I began to nibble at his cheeks playfully, and pulled his backside open. I began lapping and sucking at his hole causing him to rock backwards in pleasure. 

I ran my tongue along his hole and pushed in slightly breaching him. Causing kili to let out a want on moan.i slowly pushed in inch my inch enjoying the way he squirmed underneath my tongue. 

He began to rock backwards onto my tongue. I circled his insides with my tongue exploring the depths of his hole I pushed my tongue deeper into his hole and brought my hand to his cock and began running my hand along his hardened shaft. 

Kili grabbed my hand and put my fingers into his mouth and began lapping and whirling his tongue around my fingers. 

I slowly brought my tongue out of his hole causing him to moan at the loss. 

" don't worry baby I'm going to soon fill you up and fuck your into the ground, but you will keep these on" I purred. 

" need you so bad baby" he moaned. 

I kissed his back and brought one of the saliva covered to fingers to his hole and slowly pushed it into him I began rubbing his insides and trusting in and out. 

" another need another" he gasped. 

I happily complied and brought a second into his hole and began to pounded against his sweet spot causing him to push back against my fingers. 

I brought my other hand up to his balls and began to massage them, by squeezing and pulling at them which I knew would drive him crazy. 

I removed my fingers from his entrance and kili reached back and passed me a bottle of lube I took it grateful and Applied a light layer to his ring and a layer to my cock. 

I lined myself up to his entrance and slowly began to lower myself into his hole I run my fingers along the material of the thong and began to thrust into my lovers body slowly. 

It took all my control not to pound him instantly into the ground but I wanted his blissful heat for as long as I could. 

" faster thorin faster" he called loudly forgetting that we were outside. 

" all in good time beautiful" I uttered running my tongue along his spine. 

I began to slowly increase the rhythm of my thrusts and stroked his cock in prefect timing. He came for the second time over my hand and the thong. 

" you got yourself all dirty you filthy thing" I purred and increased my thrusts against his prostate. 

he leaned his head back and I could see his eyes were all glazed over in his post orgasmic bliss and it was enough for me I began to thrust into his hole and spilled myself into him deeply whilst continuing to thrust into him through my climax I pulled out of him and collapsed onto my back. 

I reached out for him and pulled him so he was spread across my chest. 

We lead there naked as the day we were born,wrapped in the loving embrace of each others arms. 

After what must of been ten minutes kili reached for his trousers and started thumbing around, he seem to find what he was after as I saw a look of triumph on his face. 

He grasped my hand and slid a beautiful sliver ring onto my finger and kissed my hand. 

" I..i love you so..so much I..i wanted to give you a ring..ring to show my commitment to..to you" he stuttered smiling. 

I looked at the ring it was shaped in the shape of a leave and was the most beautiful ring I had laid eyes on i noticed it was engraved with our initials. 

" thank you so much baby I don't know what I have done to earn today" I said feeling like the luckiest man in the world. 

" I'm not done yet more surprises to come" he said with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my friend ladyluna for her ideas :)


	59. tattooed

I can't believe it you made my fantasy come true" thorin gushed for the sixth time.

" if I get that reaction every time I might get a different colour pair for everyday of the week" I beamed at him turning right at the end of the road.

" Sweetheart the hotel is left" thorin said confused.

" relax I said that I wasn't done with the surprises" I teased 

" you...you look quite handsome, when your all...all confused just chill out have a fag" I stuttered 

He still looked a little worried and I knew he sometimes struggled giving up control, and rubbed his hand reassuringly. 

After a couple of minutes we arrived at our destination.i looked at thorin's face he had paled and looked like he was going to be sick.

" babe what's wrong" I asked concerned looking at the expression on his face.

" I'm scared of needles oh my god I can't get a tattoo" he said begin to hyperventilate looking at the tattoo parlour we had pulled up outside the shop.

" its ok your not getting one, I am" I said beaming at him and wrapping my arm around him.

He started to re gain his colour and composure then looked at me wide eyed.

"your getting one I've never seen anyone get a tattoo before" he said with a little smile on his face.

I took his hand and we walked into the shop a short broad heavily tattoo man greeted us with a smile.

" hey oh yeah your the guy who came in earlier, come right through" he said and showed me to the leather tattoo chair.

" Where did you want to place it" he asked bringing in the stencil. 

"I...i Was thinking on..on my neck with the writing inside" I stuttered as he put the gel onto my arm and put the stencil on top. 

I saw thorins face when he saw the design I had picked The last bit of unease went and his lips curled into a smile. 

The gentleman placed the gun to my neck and lowed his foot onto the peddle. 

" tell me if you want me to stop ok" he said and put the gun to my neck. 

The buzz of the guy always seemed to relax me and I felt a little prick as it penetrated my skin, it burnt a little but was a pleasure able pain. 

I could feel the needle drag along the skin a little as he curved the line, I could feel the heat in my skin as the ink was injected into it. 

" what does it feel like" thorin asked curiously trying to get nearer to get a better look. 

" can't really describe it's a bit like a wasp sting" I told him as he took my hand. 

" is it really not painful?" He asked astounded. 

" nope it's an addictive pain, I Want it to last forever." I said honestly and the tattooist dunked the needle into the ink and started again. 

" So what was your first one" thorin asked looking at my arms. 

" this one I was twenty one" I said pointing towards a simple star tattoo towards my wrist. 

" and your favourite?"he inquired. 

" this one its the music for misty mountains" I said pointing at the music notes around my other wrist. 

It was the first time Thorin had really asked any questions about my tattoos I was kind of flattered.

" done" the tattooist said half an hour later, I go off the seat and looked into the mirror, it was simple but elegant.

"What..what do you think baby" I asked nervously.

" love it" he beamed kissing my neck just above the fresh tattoo he then turned to the tattooist.

" I know it's a long shot but is there any way you could do the same on me with kili instead of thorin" he asked nervously.

I was astounded " but..but your scared of needles" I stuttered.

"I am but I want to do this for you" he said squeezing my hand. 

He sat in the seat and grasped my hand. 

As the needle first went into the skin he flinched and squeezed my hand tight. 

I soothed, reassured him and kissed him until he began to relax. 

" its actually not as bad as I thought" he chuckled but kept a tight grip on my hand. 

We talked about anything and everything just to take his mind off the needles. 

After an hour the tattooist finished. 

thorin wrapped me into his arms and took a selfie of us making sure our tattoos were on show. 

" you..you do realise your..your stuck with me for life right" I joked. 

" wouldn't have it any other way" he whispered kissing my lips 


	60. Who you calling old

I clasped on the bed it had be an amazing day exhaustion finally caught up with me and I could feel my a eyes dropping.

" you tired baby?" kili asked wrapping his arm around my waist and tucking his head under my chin.

" just a little" I admitted looking down at him to see him looking up at me with his big brown eyes.

" I have one more surprise for you but don't worry not for a few hours you can get some rest first old man" kili joked.

"old man, old man who you calling old man" I uttered and pinned him to the bed and started tickling him.

He kicked and thrust underneath me, laughing hard and waving his arms in funny directions.

" thorin stop get off me" he giggled

I continued my tickle attack and reached for his neck.

" thorin stop please ok ok your not old" he gasped and I stopped tickling him.

I moved lower down the bed and run my hand along his leg under his trousers.

" would you let an old man do this" I purred kissibg his ankle playfully and was met with a satisfying moan of pleasure.

I could see he was hard against his trousers and brought my index finger up to his bulge and traced it

" or this?" I asked lowering his trousers over his hips, and kissing the thongs that were soiled with his seed.

"god" he groaned

I gave him a devilish grin and ripped the thong straight off him causing him to squeal in surprise

i stated planting kisses from his ankles all the way up his inner leg, enjoying every little moan he gave, as I came to his crouch I purposely avoided touching his shaft.

I licked his crouch and run my teeth along his skin which caused him to wiggle underneath me and to my delight he srarted to buck his hips.

I pulled his top up over his head in one swift move.

I moved my mouth up to his stomach and began licking and sucking his skin, to my excitement leaving little marks in his skin.

I started kiss further up my lovers torso enjoying his small squeals of pleasure and continued to mark his beautiful skin.

" oh jesus" he gasped as I reached his nipples.

I took one into my mouth and began to roll it between my teeth pulling it playfully the other I pinched between my fingers causing him to moan out in Want.

as I let go he rolled over onto his side so I could get at his back and looked back at me his eyes dark with lust.

I playful began licking down the back of his neck making him shudder, I couldn't help but let out a little chuckle at the way he moved so beautifully just for me.

I brought my tongue to his ear and began biting and licking his lob.

" still old?" I whispered breathing in his ear as he shock his head.

I started leaving trails of kisses all down his tattooed arms, his breathing had become heavy and I moved my hand to his arousel and could it had bounced up hard against his lower stomach, I gave hit a few strokes and then stopped much to kili's disgust as he let out a groan.

I slowly brought my kisses Down to his tight ass and began by biting eat cheek.

" please thorin please" kili begged. 

" what would you like my to do my love?" I asked knowing damn well what he wanted I just wanted to hear him say it.

" please..Please lick me" he begged.

I pulled his cheeks apart and began to lap happily at his hole he began to wiggle his ass in the air as I continued to tease at his entrance.

" you like being rimmed don't you" i purred.

He gave me desperate nod and I loved my tongue back to his hole.

I breathed him with my tongue and began exploring his hole I thrust my tongue in and out slowly swirling my tongue around inside of him.

He began to squeal and buck his hips pushing back on my tongue as I took it deeper inside of him and continued to lick.

His crys began to get louder and I was sure the people next door could hear his wanton crys of pleasure, I slowly removed my tongue from his tight ass 

and moved to the front of his body again.

I took him fully into my mouth and began to suck, I ran my tongue along his slit tasting his pre cum on my tongue.

I began to Bob up and down on his cock as kili grabbed at the duvet.

I wrapped my tongue around his cock and wrapped it around his shaft gliding my teeth along his cock in the process.

I brought my hand and started cradling his balls and began rolling them in my hand.

" I'm gonna cum" he warned me and I continued sucking till he came down my throat.

I could taste the salty taste in my mouth and I swallowed his essence.

I reached up for his face and brought him into a kiss I slipped my tongue into his mouth and began to explore the heat of his mouth with my tongue.

" definitely not old" he whispered in my ear once I pulled away and I let out a little laugh and moved back up the bed and wrapped my arms around his shoulder.

My eyes began to droop and I felt my body begin to relax. I moved my head to his chest and could here his heart beating, it was kind of soothing and he began to play with my hair.


	61. Then it went wrong

we got off the paddle boat onto the deserted island I was nervous that thorin wouldn't like it, I wanted to make him feel like the most loved man in the world.

The path was lite with candles as i planned and I knew James and sonia had just left the island via the other side.

" this is beautiful sweetheart thank you " he gushed kissing my cheek. 

I grabbed his hand and led him down the candle lite path, it really was beautiful and peaceful

When James had told me about this place I knew I had to bring thorin here. To our own secluded place so it could be just us with know interference from the outside world.

We walked into a centre in the island there was a table set for two with roses in a vase.

The trees were decorated in clear fairy lights twinkling in the night. 

" Mr Durin you table awaits" I said pulling out his chair and smiling sweetly at him holding out my hand for his.

He took my hand and I assisted him into his seat.

" now how would you like your steak sir? I asked pouring him out a large glass of Red wine called Chateau Pedesclaux with apparently had  a nose of black berry fruits, fig and tobacco but to me just smelt and tasted like red wine.

"Rare please my lovely" he smiled grabbing my hand and slapping my ass as I turned around to walk away.

I walked over to the grill which thankful sonia or James had the sense to light already and took the two large steaks out of the cool box and dropped them both onto the grill. 

It didn't take long to cook and I brought The steaks and cool box over, and started to set up the table I had brought potato salad, Mac and cheese and mixed leaf salad. 

"this looks gorgeous darling" He praised taking a bite of steak and potato salad. 

I sat opposite him and beamed and took a swig of wine, the night was a peaceful and it was the prefect way to end a great day even if I did say so myself. 

" let's stay here and never go back to London, we could buy a cottage and have a pet dog" I dreamed. 

" and I could have my own vegetable patch and we could keep chickens" he said joining in. 

" and know one here knows us and we can start a new no criminal record, know one interfering in our relationship" I carried on in my fantasies. 

" and a child running around in our little cottage garden" thorin said also caught in the life we were describing 

I felt my heart drop " that..that I definitely can't give you" I said quietly pushing putting down my knife and fork and pushing my plate away. 

He grasped my hand and we locked eyes " we will Figure it out" he said kindly stroking my hand gently. 

I pulled my hand away in sudden rage " why..why do you have to be so..so fucking optimistic thorin We can't figure this out un..unless you have a way for me to go back in time and un beat someone half to death because if you can do that i.. i also Wouldn't mind bringing back to life my parents and stopping them getting in..in there bloody car" I snapped storming out of the clearing. 

I could hear thorins footsteps behind me. 

" baby I'm sorry that was a stupid thing to say I didn't mean it like that my love" he apologised grasping my arm. 

" Jesus thorin not..not everything turns out right, we're not in..in a fucking fairy tale and it ain't going to end happy ever after " I growled. 

I could see the anger rise in thorin " do you not think I know that, my life hasn't exactly been the easiest since I met you, i used to have a simple life where the only thing I ever worried about was who I was going to fuck next" he thundered. 

" if..if that's how you feel then you back to it, go..go fuck anything that moves you..you could just class me as a dumb fuck who fell for your shit" I growled. 

" kili don't act like a whiny teenager girl , you know I love you for Christ sake, your the one who lies to me who doesn't tell me stuff" he shouted running his hands through his hair. 

" What's that suppose to..to mean. What are accusing me off" I said turning to him, feeling like he had punched me in the guts.

" ok for example why the hell didn't you tell me it was your birthday today don't you think that's the type of thing you should tell the man you love?" Thorin asked glaring at me. 

" I...i haven't celebrated my..my birthday for 13 years tomorrow is the anniversary of..of the date I was senticed I..i don't want to remember that I..I usually spend my..my birthday and tomorrow shit faced so your lucky" I thundered heading towards where the little paddle boat was docked. 

" Well I won't know that because you don't tell me anything, how the hell did you get the money to pay for today anyway" Thorin snapped. 

I began to shift I knew he would go mental about me selling my St Christopher necklace I wore it all the time it once belonged to my grand father. 

I choose not to answer but too late I saw him scan my neck and the realisation appear on his face " you sold your St Christopher" he stated and I nodded. 

I could feel tears prick my eyes today was ment to be a special day I had wanted to spoil the man I love not have the worst argument we had ever had. My tears began to roll down my cheek and I sat on the floor by the edge of the island I took out my rolling tobacco but where my emotions were all over the place I was shaking and couldn't keep my hands steady. 

I felt a tap on my shoulder and thorin handed me a straight.

"Th...Thanks" I stuttered taking the cigarette, and sparking it up, he sat down on the ground beside me and lit one for himself.

" I'm..I'm sorry I've fucked everything up" I Apologised letting out a sob. 

Thorin wrapped an arm around my shoulders embracing me " its ok I get it you don't cope well on your birthday" he said gently. 

" why..why are you being so..so nice to me I don't deserve it" I said quietly taking a puff off my smoke and looking at the floor. 

" because I love you and your already beating yourself up you don't need me too as well" he said kissing my temple. 

" all..all we are going to remember when we..we think of our first holiday is..is me going crazy" I stuttered. 

"Well let's change that" he said grabbing my hand and leading me back towards the clearing. 

"What are we doing babe" I asked feeling myself begin to calm. 

" we are going to act like nothing has gone wrong and continue with our lovely evening, but last thing I am saying on the subject is I will be buying back your St Christopher tomorrow" he told me sternly. 

"But.. but I wanted to surprise you And you pay for every thing and Do loads of nice things for me I just wanted to show you what you mean to me " I explained flushing red . 

" I treat you because I can afford to treat you and love to treat you seeing you happy makes me happy that's all I need lover" he said cupping my face. 

We finished off the steak talking about anything but the argument. 

I brought out the portable cd player James had let me borrow and turned on the cd goo dolls iris blasted and we began slow dancing thorin wrapped me close to his chest and whispered in my ear 

" Together forever"


	62. Dwalin I need your help

I walked into dwalins bar I felt nervous as hell I had been thinking all the way on the flight home of what I could do to make today special I wanted to take kili's mind off today. I had come up with an idea but it need the help of another person. So i very reluctantly decided dwalin was my best bet. 

The bar was dead thank god because what i was about to ask dwalin to do for me was embarrassing enough

I walked up to the bar and sat on the stool dwalin came up to me with a pint and put it down on the counter in front.

" So how was Ireland?" He asked smiling.

I beamed back trying to make my body relax " it was amazing the castle is perfect we have set a date" I told him feeling the nerves in my body fizzle away a little. 

Lego bounced over at this " when's the big day" he asked excitedly. 

" The 23rd of December were going to have a Christmas wedding" I announced proudly. 

" oh that's amazing I'll have to text kili my congratulations" he said taking out his phone. 

Then I suddenly had an idea " actually if you aren't to busy this afternoon would you mind taking kili out for a coffee or something? I kind of have a surprise but I need him out the house for it to work" I explained. 

The blonde looked a dwalin for permission who let out a sigh " go on then I'll get jen to help mind the bar" he said giving the blonde a grin. 

He then turned back to me " so you said you need a favour?" He asked and I nodded. 

I could feel myself flush red as him and the blonde both looked at me. 

" Well the thing is I er well" I spluttered nervously avoiding his gaze and suddenly finding my beer interesting. 

"Spit it out mate can't be that bad" Dwalin said looking slightly amused as i flushed red. 

" I need a favour can can youtiemetomybedandgagme" I said in one breath daring to look up from my pint 

" I'm sorry didn't catch that" dwalin said with a grin which told me he blatantly did, the blonde was bent over laughing. 

"please don't make me say it again" I pleaded 

." No I think I need to here you say It again" dwalin laughed looking at my face. 

I took two deep breaths " please can you tie me naked to my bed and gag me" I said my voice shaky and my face felt like it was on fire I knew I was the colour of a tomato. 

" for good old times hey" dwalin joked pulling himself a pint 

The blonde looked at us both in shock " did you too used to date?" He inquired. 

" no lad we didn't date just fuck buddies, I taught him everything he knows" he chucked at the boys shocked expression. 

" along time ago" I added feeling my face finally begin to cool down. 

"So will you do it? It's a surprise for kili " i asked again looking at his face. 

" yes I will tie you to your bed, I have the most fucked up friends" he added to himself. 

"Thanks mate" I said giving him a little smile 

" its ok weirdo" he said but gave me an reassuring smile 

" oh yeah I probably should of opened up with this question, would you be my best man?" I asked seeing the shocked look on his face.

" but what about frerin?" He asked 

" kili and me agree that we wanted both of you to be the best men, kili is going to ask frerin and I would like nothing better than to have you by my side will you be my best man?" I asked again 

He took my hand in his " of course mate you don't even need to ask he said giving me a happy smile. 

" how long do you need kili out?" Lego asked taking his phone out his pocket and beginning to text. 

" about an hour at 6pm" I replied looking at the blonde. 

" ok I've just sent him a text saying can he meet me at mine at 6pm" then his phone beeped and he checked his message " and he's just said yes" he said with a smile. " good good I got to go and pick up a few supplies but I will meet you at mine for six" I said looking at dwalin. " six it is" he agreed and I downed my pint then left the bar and headed towards the local shops.


	63. mine, yours

"Babe I'm home" I shouted hanging my keys on the hook by the front door and kicking off my shoes.

I was shocked to find the house dead and frowned a little I could feel myself get a little annoyed he had promised to take my mind off today and I had brought ingredients to make a lasagne and peach cobbler for dessert I let out a sigh and walked into the kitchen to the fridge to put my shopping away .

so much for helping me forget what day It was and I reached for a bottle of beer and chucked the cap on the side and took a huge swig 

It was then I noticed a note on the side with a bottle of lube the note just read bedroom. 

I just frown at the note and then picked up the bottle and slowly approached the bedroom the first thing I noticed before I even got to the bedroom I could hear soft rock music playing, and wondered how I could of missed it before I opened the bedroom door the curtains were drawn they were extra thick so darkened the room even though it was summer I could barely see I switched the light on and the sight that met me made my heart quicken and I let out a gasp of surprise and could feel myself become overcome with lust and desire at the sight that met me. 

Thorin was Led on his back handcuffed to his bed posts he had a red ribbon in his mouth and a line of dribble running down his chin. 

around his neck he also had a red ribbon but thicker which was tied into a large bow there were a set of small keys attached to the ribbon. 

his gorgeous grey eyes were covered with a silky red blindfold that was in the same cherry red colour as the rest of the assemble. 

He wore a studded black tight leather thongs which were bursting to the seams as he was hard underneath the leather. 

His legs were spread wide tied to the remaining bed post with soft black leather restraints. And an blue envelope was place on his chest. 

I gulped and then heard it a little buzz oh god he's got it in him he's got the plug inside him I thought and could feel myself become rather confined in my trousers. 

" have...have you got..got it in you" I stuttered and he confirmed by nodding his head. 

"Sweet Jesus" I uttered and picked up the envelope and opened it with shaky hands. 

I smiled at the card it was in the shape of an electric guitar with happy birthday written on the front in gold lettering. 

He had written me a letter inside the card it read: 

* My dearest buttercup 

Happy birthday my love, I tend to make up for the last thirteen birthdays for the rest of our life's. I wanted to give you the prefect gift. My body is yours to do as you wish, I am yours to command. Have fun sexy and I love you. 

Yours forever Thorin xxx♡xxx 

I had tears of happiness roll down my face and knew I would cherish this letter for the rest of my life. Known one had ever treated me as well as this man in front of me. 

I wiped my face with the back of my hand and put the card proud of place on the bedside table and then saw the remote to the plug I couldn't help but grin and turned it up to full. 

I saw Thorin's body jolt in shock as i turned up speed and I leaned back and took in the sight in front of me. of my sexy man writhe so beautifully against the bed sheets, trying to get a friction that I knew he would not be able to get, he had sweat glistening on his body clinging to his muscles. 

I took pity then turned down the vibrations and began to strip off my shirt, once it had been removed I lent down and leaned I could smell his unique smell which was an earthy smell and trailed kisses on his chest. 

" what a..a wonderful surprise" I told him licking around his nipples and tugging on one of his pink buds playfully, I began to pull gently and was rewards with a muffled groan from Thorin. 

I leaned up to his mouth and untied the gag and brushed our lips together, I pushed my tongue into the heat of his mouth and began to explore his mouth. 

I planted a rough kiss and onto his neck just above the bow and began biting down just enough to leave a mark on his neck " mine" I said smiling. 

" all yours" he agreed panting but gave an encouraging smile. 

I ran my hands in his hair and began playfully nibbling his ear giving him playfully licks " you look so gorgeous like that babe all bound and wrapped" I purred into his ear.

I move my self down his body And started kiss his clothed hips using my teeth to pull at his thong " and your hips are the mine?" I ask looking up at his face.

" yes there yours too" he pants as i start kissing his clothed errection.

I smile up at him even though he can't see it and begin to gently tug at the side of the thong,thorin gently lifts his body up to assist me as I tug at the thong. 

It takes a few tugs but eventually I manage to get them down revealing his swollen erect cock which had a black rubber cock ring around it. 

I run my finger along his thick shaft, and licked his slit playfully " and this is this mine?" I asked and began kissing along his length. 

"That most definitely is yours" he smiled and I took him fully into my mouth and running my Tongue slowly along the underneath of his shaft swirling my tongue around his slit. 

" Christ" thorin groaned as I lightly squeeze and tug on his balls. 

I continued gliding my teeth along his cock and gliding my tongue along afterwards. He starts moaning as i pull off and run my fingers over his sensitive tip.

I looked at his face and suddenly longed to see his piercing blue eyes glazed over with lust and desire, I crawled up the bed to his face and cupped his face and brushed my lips against his, which my free hand I remove his blindfold and watch him blink a few times as his eyes a just to the light.

I pull away from his lips and kiss just below his eyes running my hand into his black mane. 

I move my self back down his body until I am positioned in between his legs and I began playful moving the vibrating plug in and out of his entrance. 

" fuck, oh god" thorin moaned and began bucking his hips fucking himself on the plug, moaning and riving. 

I pulled the plug out and bring tongue to his hole and lick around the rim causing him to buck back to further into my tongue so I breech him, I push my tongue in and out and begin lapping at his hole. 

I pulled out with a grin as he gave a groin of frustration and opened the cap of the lube and began coating my fingers, and put my finger to the entrance. 

" you ready for my fingers baby" I asked looking at his face, he nodded his consent, with an encouraging smile. 

I gently start easing my finger into his tight heat and began stroking His insides as his muscles contract around my fingers excepting the intrusion. 

I slowly added another into his body which it excepts grateful and I begin stretching him wide, and then search for his bud of nerves, I know when I have found it as he begins to thrust into the air and cry wantonly. 

" One more finger baby" I encouraged inserting my finger to join the rest in side the inferno that is thorin, to see him bounce up and down on her fingers is the most delicious sight in the world. 

As I pulled out a moan escapes his lips I can see the frustration at the loss of contact. 

I watched as his hole gaped open just waiting for me to fill. While thorin moaned. . 

" Don't worry I'll soon have you full" I reassured him lining myself with is entrance " mine? " I asked looking at his face. 

" yes my love yours please fill me" he groaned panting and I slowly lower myself into his waiting entrance his muscles clenched around my tip and as he adjusts loosens another to allow me to push myself into his body. 

" So tight around me" I gasped trying hard not to move so he would both have time to adjust his body

" kili darling I don't mean to be impatient but I have just had a vibrating plug up my ass for two fucking hours please please move" he panted making me laugh and i took pity on him and began to thrust deeply inside him. 

he bucked his hips back to meet my movements perfectly. The sound of flesh on flesh and his groans became to much for me. 

I could feel my balls tighten and spilled my seed inside of him reaching around his waist and undone his ring " its okay baby come for me" I purred stroking along his shaft he needed no encouragement and heavy into my hand. 

I brought my hand up to my mouth and started licking my fingers clean " shame to waist" I said with a smile. 

I undone the ribbon from his neck taking the keys for the handcuffs and softly kissed where the ribbon 

I undid the handcuffs and set him free kissing his wrists also, and repeated the same action with his ankles.

I reached for his face and we put our heads together he lend foward and brushed his lips against mine in a tender kiss and reached for my hair.

He pulled away and pulled me into a tight embrace and we fell asleep wrapped in each others warm arms.


	64. What are you doing

I woke early the next day and glanced at the clock beside the bed 6.45am it read and I let out a small groan my body just couldn't get used to the fact I didn't need to get up for school and my heart gave a painful throb at the reminder of the fact.

I looked over at my lovely fiancé and lent in and kissed his head, I smile as he continued to sleep with a huge smile on his face.

I reached over and brush a hair out of his face I love the way his hair looked in the morning, it fell ever where it make him look a lot younger than his actually age..

I gave one last look At my gorgeous brunet and thought back to last night and grinned, I really am the luckiest guy in the world. I walked into the kitchen and boiled the kettle and opened the fridge looking at its nearly empty contents and decided to make scrabbled egg on toast for us both.

Ten minutes later kili walked into the kitchen and gave me a massive smile " morning baby" he smiles in greeting and kisses my cheek.

I put the plate down In front of him as his stomach began to grumble " prefect" he says taking a huge bite and wolfing it down.

" what are you plans for day sweetheart?I'm going to look for a job, I just can't stand sitting around" i told him and noticed his guilty look " baby it wasn't your fault" I told him wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

" I..i know it may not be..be my fault directly but it is because of my past you..you were forced out of your dream Job and I...i can't help feeling bad" he says as i I began kissing his neck.

Our eyes lock and I smile " was my dream job but now I've got a better dream us" I told him enjoying the warmth of the embrace.

" you soft git" he heats and picks my hand up to my face and kisses my hand " I am going to so shopping as we have no food in the fridge apart from egg, milk and bread" he replies taking a mouthful as i took the seat next to him and started eating my own breakfast.

" I..i need to talk to Thranduil, I'm going to tell him not to talk to me..me anymore" he stutters nervously. " I..i don't have a clue what...what to say I just know he...he is causing too much trouble and...and I won't lose you" he finishes and pushes his plate away.

" buttercup I'm not going anywhere, do worry about that were going to be together forever" I promise taking his hand.

He gives me a smile that melts my heart it was hard to believe we had only been together a few months, it felt like years I thought back to the nervous guy I first met and the guy in front of me, sure he still stutters when nervous but his confidence had grown so much.

" Do you want me to come shopping?" I asked smiling.

" no its okay baby" he replied and went and put his plate in the sink and walked out the room to get dressed.

A couple minutes later he entered the room " anything you need?" He asks.

" some smokes please sweetie" I replied smiling.

" ok see you later" he says and kisses my cheek then walks out the door.

I listen to him start the engine and let out a sigh then get dressed.

Just as I'm putting on my rugby shirt the door bell goes and I can't help but smile as I walk to the door.

" have you forgot your keys again darling" I chuckle as i open the door, I felt my face drop as i saw he blonde haired man at my door " what are you doing here" I asked and he brings out a long knife and puts it to my throat.


	65. The madness of thranduil

The weather was blazing hot and the supermarket was heaving I still managed to get in and out within an hour and pushed the trolley across the car park.

I took my phone out of my pocket and realised I had a missed call from lego I clicked redial.

" So how was last night lover boy" he teased me in greeting.

"Hello..hello to you to" I answered friendly as i started loading the boot with our bags of groceries. 

I could hear people so knew lego was shopping " so I'm in town bored out of my brain and I thought I'll see if kili wants to have a coffee so do you want to meet me at Starbucks?" He asked friendly. 

I looked at the shopping and realised there was no frozen foods " screw it yeah I'll meet you I'm at tesco at the mo give me ten minutes" and I hung up.

I instantly called thorins mobile and frown when i got his answer machine. " hey hotdog just thought i would let you know I'm going to meet lego in town to get a coffee, see you in a bit love you" I said and hung up.  
I took a smoke out my pocket and sparked up. Then began to pull out of the parking space I turned up the radio and began to sing alone to greenday American idiot.

Ten minutes later i pulled up in the nearest parking space to Starbucks as i walked in I spotted lego sat on a table by an open window he gave me a wave and I walked over to him and sat down opposite " so is thorin still walking today" he joked and I immediately felt my face burn scarlet with embarrassment.

" this might call down your burning face" he grins pushing a iced drink and I raised an eyebrow.

"its a chocolate orange frappe your love it" he reassured and I took a sip it tasted delicious just like a Terrys chocolate orange.

" this is yummy" I admit taking a large gulp.

We talked for a while and then we got on the subject of thranduil " I don't know how to tell him but know I need to, thorin is right he is causing me and him problems" I told him.

" is that the weird guy who came to watch you perform, I think thorin is right mate he wouldn't take his eyes off you all night and followed you with them everywhere even thorin wasn't watching you that much" he said suddenly serious.

I nod " and I'm starting to agree with thorin he swears it was him that locked me in the garage and the more I think about it the more I'm starting to think he might be right" I admit to him.

" look if you want someone with you when you tell him I'm more than happy too. I don't think you should meet him alone" he looks worriedly at my face.

" I think you are right I mean if he locks me in a tight space I am well and truly screwed" I said bitterly and downed the rest of my frappe.

We parted ways with a promise that I would let him know I took out my phone and dialed thranduil mobile number it cuts straight to machine " hi it's kili I need to talk to you can you get back to me please we need to talk" I ended and hung up the phone.

I got into the car twenty minutes later i pulled up outside our house and frowned something didn't feel right all the curtains were still drawn. 

I slowly began to approach the house my hairs were up on the back of my neck, I couldn't put my finger on it.

I slowly took my keys out my pocket and unlocked the door.

I felt my eyes widen in horror there were tables and chairs chucked everywhere, and ripped books. My guitar was in pieces and there was an obvious sign of a struggle.

I felt my heart race with fear I noticed a puddle of blood on the floor " oh god thorin" I said out loud I noticed a shoe in the middle of the room.

I felt sick and panic set it the more I looked around the room, thorins phone was on the table his laptop set up and a half cup of coffee. 

The only reassuring thing is that thorin had put up a fight there were signs of it everywhere. 

I took out my phone and began to dial the police " I won't do that if I were you little raven" thranduil's cold tones says.

I turned around and the sight that greeted me made me fill up with a mixture of rage and sheer terror he had a knife to thorins throat.

I looked at thorin's face and could see a look I'd never Seen on it he was scared, his eyes were widened and he looked smaller than I'd ever seen then I'd ever seen him look. 

I suddenly felt the terror disappear and just felt my blood boil" Get your hands off my man" I growled feeling brave I reached forward and he began to push the blade into thorins neck and I halted fearfully for thorin.

" don't take a step closer" he smirked at me running the knife along his neck.

"What ....what do you want" I asked staring at thorin's face.

" what do I want? What do I want? I want what I have wanted for 14 years, you my little raven I want you" thranduil smiled his eyes wide and he stared at me.

" me.. you...you want me?" I stuttered not really knowing what to say but feeling of sickness filled me up inside, I had the urge to puke.

 

" I used to get such a kick of seeing you paraded naked in front of the cells when you were on suicide watch, why did you think I saved you? You are so beautiful raven so beautiful, I knew i had to make you mine all mine and then you were released from prison, I have always thought about you when I'm lonely of your beautiful ass being paraded past my cell." He was smiling a huge eerie smile. " I've been waiting for the day we can be together and when I came out and saw you with this guy, I knew i had to make a point to you so I locked you in the garage and when you clung to him tighter I tried to come up with a plan to get him out the way now I knew i couldn't risk going back to prison so I came up with this, now you will do as i ask or thorin here dies" he told me laughing maniacally his eye kept twitching and the blade kept jolting against thorin.

" I'll...I'll do anything but..but please don't hurt him" I could feel tears in my eyes as i looked at thorin's face which had paled.

" Good boy I thought you might see it my way" he said looking into my eyes " now come here and tie him up to that chair" he ordered pointing to an upturned chair, and some thick rope.

I turned the chair up the right way and looked at thorin's phone on the coffee table I slowly positioned the chair in front of the phone so thorin could reach and prayed thranduil had not noticed.

I slowly approached thorin meeting his eyes I hoped mine were telling him how sorry I was, I held his hand and started to lead him over to the chair when I felt the the cold steel against my neck.

" how touching" he sneered looking at our hands, thorin grasped my hand tighter I could feel him shaking all over.

I helped him onto the chair and felt the steel go away from my neck and watched thranduil lock all the doors and put the keys in his pocket and I took my opportunity as h walked into the kitchen checking the window " baby listen to me I will do whatever it takes to keep so safe, I will get you out of here and I'm so so sorry I got you into this" I whispered tears running down my face, guilt ebbing away at me.

I felt his hand give mine a reassuring squeeze " its not your fault sweetheart we will both get out of this" he soothed kissing my forehead.

I picked up the rope and began to tie it around him making sure it was tight but wouldn't hurt him.

I lent in and cupped his cheek " I love you" I whispered in his ear and pulled away when thranduil re entered the room.

Thranduil walked up to me and wrapped an arm around my waist. " you and me darling were going to be together forever" he smiled and began kissing my face.

I wanted to scream, and move away but forced myself to stay still I looked at thorin and kept my eyes on him, pretending it was him who was kissing me.

I could smell stale cigarettes on his breath, he began breathing all over my neck, I could feel myself begin to shiver and over, I felt repulsed, he began moving his hands all over my chest, I could feel myself begin to urge.

He let go over my waist and forced to face him " I have wanted to touch you for many years, dreamt about your warmth" he beamed and run a finger down the side of my face.

" GET OFF HIM" thorin bellowed pulling at the restraints.

Thranduil walked over to the chair and brought his hand back and slapped thorin hard across the face, causing an instant hand print to appear on the side of his face.

" did I say you could speak, now if you don't mind I was having a moment with my love" he hissed in his face.

" If you do have any feelings for me then let him go, please" I begged walking over towards them thanduil grabbed my wrist hard and brought the knife to my throat.

" I don't want to hurt you precious, but I will if you don't do what the fuck I say and I didn't say walk closer" he warned brushing my stubble with the knife.

I gulped and nodded in understanding I looked at thorin's face and could see a bruise forming on his cheeks.

" Now Thorin here can live if you agree to come away with me and never contact him again" he said whilst returning to exploring my body, the knife remained at my throat reminding me who was in charge.

I wondered if I could get the knife off of him, maybe if I tricked him into a false sense of security but then again how do i do that i thought i suddenly realised I had one choice " yes I will go with you but you must never come near thorin again ever wise I swear I kill you or die trying" I promised knowing I was deeming myself to fate of captivity. 

"Agreed " he said with a sneer on his face and began running his hands through my hair he wasn't gentle like thorin he pulled forcefully causing me to wince.

" kili don't be stupid no you can't" thorin cried I looked at his face and could see tears rolling down his face.

I could see the sadness in his eyes, I forced myself to look at thranduil he looked ecstatic and had a insane glint in his eye " can I have some time to say goodbye" I felt tears run freely down my cheeks.

He didn't say anything for a minute I could see him weighing up my request he suddenly gave me a smile " you have two minutes and I will wait in the kitchen,if you untie him or try to escape I will slit his throat" he warned and turned and left the room.


	66. never say goodbye

Kili came rushing towards me and knelt down next to me. " I'm..I'm so so..sorry thorin" he sobbed putting his head into my lap.

I looked down at him and felt my heart break at the gut ripping sobs coming from him " its ok sweetheart none of this is your" I soothed wishing my hands were free so I could run my fingers through his hair to reassure him.

" I...i should've listen to you, i.. i should of..of told him to get lost ages ago" he stuttered clutching on to my leg.

" you thought he was your friend, you weren't to know he was mental" I Told him as he began to sob harder.

" I..i won't let him..him hurt you, I'll go..go with him and make sure he never comes back" he said sternly looking up into my eyes.

" You can't go with him kili, we will get out of this together, please please don't go with him" I pleaded feeling my own tears in my eyes.

" I'll...I'll never forget you, you..you made my life whole again for..For the last fourteen years my..my life has been nothing but shit and..and then I met you and you have made me a better man" he says looking at me with his big brown eyes, I can see the fear and panic behind them.

" you cannot do this kili, please don't do this. He told me some of the stuff he wants to do to you and you can't let him I won't let him " I cried pulling at my bindings and trying to forget the thoughts of what the monster had told me he would do to my love.

" babe it's ok, maybe this is what I'm ment to do with my life and if you live it's worth it, just to see you safe. You can get your life back on track go back to teaching and forget me" he forced himself to smile.

" you can not be his plaything I won't let you" I said fiercely. 

He reached for my face cupping my cheek and brushed his lips against mine, I knew i would remember this kiss forever the finality of it all as he tenderly kissed my lips, I knew at this moment he was saying goodbye, I could feel my heart breaking at the thought of never seeing his beautiful face or feel his body against mine.

He pulled away ending the kiss but kept his hand upon my face " I will always be with you and love you, you are my soul mate and I will never ever be sorry for what little time we had you have made my life pure and good again" he reached around and loosened the rope. 

" baby listen to..to me you can't let him..him know I have..have loosened the rope so you can get your arms freep, you..you must wait until we have gone and..and then ring dwalin then.." he stopped as footsteps approached from the kitchen " I..i will always love..love you goodbye" he whispered kissing my cheek.

" Well want a lovely scene but times up" thranduil sneered and walked over grabbing kili hard by the wrist and dragged him away, I could feel the tears running down my face.

" he will never love you I will always have his heart whatever you do as he will always have mine." I thundered as they were at the door.

Thranduil let got of kili's arm and spun around he started moving slowly towards me waving the knife in the air I could see rage in his face and madness in his eyes.

" he is mine you will regret saying that to me" he growled edging nearer to the chair.

" leave him alone" kili raced towards him, he wrapped his hands around his neck and clung on. 

Thranduil began to stagger as kili took his weight of the ground, he had a look of pure determination as he held on tight.

The blonde started crash against walls trying to force kili to let go, I heard a crack as kili's leg collided with the wall which caused him to let out a yelp of pain but he didn't let go.

" Get..get the fuck out..out of here now" kili roared as thranduil hit him against the window causing it to smash into pieces.

I got my hands free and began to to untie the rope cursing my sweaty hands, then I heard a crash and looked at kili as he finally lost his grip and was thrown towards the sofa.

I saw thranduil rush towards me with his knife In the air I prepared myself for impact and closed my eyes tight after a few seconds I heard a gut wrenching noise I snapped open my eyes then I saw it a sight that make my heart grip out of my chest.

Kili was stood in front of me looking at his chest, blood was spilling out over his shirt and I realised he had jumped in front of me, he had risked his life for mine.

" No not my kili no" I cried thranduil was know where to be seen and I rushed over to kili and he clasped in my arms and I gently lowered him to the floor with his head in my lap, blood was pouring all over the floor and my hands and clothing.

He looked up at my face " notebook on table song..read at funeral" he gasped struggling for breath. 

" no kili your going to be ok, just hold on sweetheart" I reached for my phone and ran my fingers through his hair.

I dial the emergency services and didn't take my eyes off his face his eyes were beginning to fluttering " don't you dare leave me, please stay with me" I begged clutching his hand.

I could hear sirens " the ambulance is nearly hear buttercup, your be fine" I began kissing his face.

" love you always" he uttered and closed his eyes, and stilled.

" kili come back to me, don't leave me, please my lovely come back, I can't lose you" I wailed clutching on to his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this has been leading up to this moment I actually cried writing this hope you enjoy and keep reading to find kili's fate


	67. hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it's taken me so long to update but here enjoy

I awoke and felt confusion I could see two strangers leaning over me. Then had a soaring pain in my chest.

" Thorin" I croak panicking 

I feel a squeeze of my hand, I can't see him but just knowing he is there is reassuring " its ok my love, we're nearly at the hospital" he soothes but I can hear the fear in his voice.

" hurts" I gasp as the pain began to grow intensively by the minute and could feel my eyes begin to go again.

" Sweetheart open your eyes, kili stay with me" I can hear thorin shouts.

I try to move as I do a soaring pain rushes over my body and I cannot help a piercing scream leave my body.

And then there is nothing but darkness.

I awoke seeing bright lights and blinking at the sudden glare I could hear voices and force my mind to focus on what they are saying.

" we need to get him into surgery immediately we suspect he has a punctured lung and it has blood on it which has caused it to collapse we need to operate immediately" an unknown voice says calmly.

I can hear sobs and recognise them instantly as thorins " oh god will he... will he be ok" he asks and I force myself to focus on him.

All colour has drained from his face and he was chalk white, he seemed to be shaking and I could see the sheer panic and upset in him face.

Dwalin was there and had his arm around him all his usual humour gone and he had a serious look I had never seen before on his face.

" hey you..you look like someone has died" I joke gasping for breath.

" that's not funny kili" thorin says sternly walking over towards the hospital bed and clutches my hand " Sweetheart they need to operate on you now baby, I'll be here when you get back" he soothes trying to be strong but I can see the sadness in his eyes.

" I'll..I'll be ok thorin" I reassured him but as I said this I felt a huge pain in My chest " Shit" I can't help but cry out clutching at my chest " can't breath" I gasp, and can feel myself getting dizzy.

" kili I need you to lie down" an unknown voice says. I Look up and through a blurry eyes could make out the white coat of a doctor.

I could hear a high pitched scream and realised it was coming from my chest felt like someone was squeezing my lungs. 

"Oh my god there's so much blood" I heard a panicked voice above me and realised it was thorin. 

" come away mate give the medics some space" a Scottish voice says that I know must be dwalin.

I can feel my body convulse against the hospital bed and my eyes roll into the back of my head.

All I could feel was steering pain flooding through my body.I could feel tiredness set in and allowed my body to relax and then everything went dark and blank.

I blinked open my eyes a little, I wanted to stay as i was but I had to do something my brain kicked in although I had no idea what.

I could feel a soft touch to my hand and hear the sobbing of a man. " don't cry" I soothed realising it was thorin making the gut wrenching noises and tilt my head to look into his face.

He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and places a kiss on my brow " Sweetheart I could of lost you, still could lose you" he sobs and runs his fingers through my hair.

I force my face into a smile even though everything hurts " you aren't getting rid of me that easy" I promises and grimace as a partially sharp spasm runs through my chest but goes with in seconds.

There is a knock on the door and we both look around to see frerin and ilona stood in the doorway both were chalk white, and ilona had red eyes and seemed to have been crying.

They both walked into the room and first hugged thorin then me. " hi" I said weakly after the hugs.

" what the hell happened" frerin asks bewildered looking both at thorin then me " we just got a call from dwalin and got told Kili was in the hospital" he says wrapping an arm around thorin.

I opened my mouth to answer but thorin got there first " Kili saved my life he jumped in front of a knife and got stabbed" he explains tears rolling down his face.

As Thorin begins to explain I close my eyes listening still but trying to rest my body a little I a felt a hand on my other hand and looked around to see ilona stroking my hand. 

"Thank you for saving my brother in law" she says smiling and kisses my cheek. " Frerin would lose it if anything happened to thorin" she says.

" I would lose it too " I state quietly so only she can hear and look at thorin who was being comforted by his brother and I suddenly realised I needed mine.

I turn back to ilona " could you please get hold of Dis and ask her to tell my brother what has happened and where I am please" I ask and she nods smiling and leaves the room.

I then turn to frerin " I was going to ask you this weekend but all thinks considering I think I will ask you now. I was wondering if you would agree to be my best man" I ask smiling.

I can see the shock turn into happiness go across his face " I would be honoured" he says wrapping his arms around my shoulders. 

There is Another knock on the door and I look around to see a balding doctor walk into the room with a grim expression.

" I was wondering if I could talk to you and your partner alone" he asks looking me in on the eyes.

" these are my family" I state looking around the room at thorin then frerin and ilona who has just entered the room again " what ever you have to say you can say in front of them too" I say sternly looking the doctor in the eyes.

He lets out a sigh " very well" he says and looks around the room " but you may all want to sit down. He states.


	68. get out

I could see the fear in his eyes as he looked at the doctor awaiting to hear his fate and walk over to the bed and grasp his hand. I look at the doctor and can already tell that it is bad news and begin to run my finger along his hand soothingly.

"Please ju...just tell me please!" He states. I can see the frustration and panic etched across his face.

The doctor takes a deep breath " we have run a few tests on your body, we have discovered that some of your nerves have been damaged" the doctor pauses to let this bit of information sink in.

This meant nothing to any of us as we looked at each other the only person who seemed to understand was Ilona who had paled.

And then the doctor continued " this has caused monoplegia in your left leg" at this i grasped hold of his arm tight as i understood and my kili turns his head and looks up at me with fearful eyes " Babe what..what does monoplegia mean" he asks as i felt tears roll down my face.

" Darling it means I'm so sorry it means you are paralysed." I explained stroking his cheek gently i could see the fear and sorrow in his eyes and all i wanted to do was bundle him in my arms.

"I.. I can't be paralysed i..i can't" he utters and my heart broke for him " Jesus this is karma, am i never going to get away from it?" He sobs 

i instantly knew that he referred to when he was a teenager " oh my love this is not about karma, sweetheart it is about some psycho who is obsessed with you not about a mistake you made years ago" i said soothing him but i could see his mind working overtime. 

He brought up his hand and pushed me away " get away from me everything i touch goes to shit" he shouts flinching away from me his brown eyes wide and filled with despair. 

" calm down Kee we will get through this together" i promised grabbing his hand again and stroking the back of his hand.

" i..i can't deal with this i..i need to be on my own" he stuttered pulling his hand away from mine " you all need to get out i cant be around anyone i just fuck up" he sobs turning his head away " get out all of you" he says.

i went to grab his hand then felt a warm hand clutch my shoulder and look around to see my brother shake his head " Thorin let him be, come on lets go outside" he orders then lowers his voice so only can hear him " he will come around just give him some space" Frerin whispers and steers me out of the room.

i sink down into the blue cushioned chair outside and put my head to my hands. i could feel tears roll down my face as the whole situation sinks in and guilt ebs away at my soul He took that fate to save me i think and feel my brother's arm wrap around my shoulders " It will be okay, you will see" he soothes as i sob into his shoulder.

" This is my fault, he took that for me how do i live with that? the man i love will never walk and it should be me" i cry looking at the door to kili's room " i wouldn't blame him if he never wants to talk to me again" i utter my body felt exhausted as events of the day finally took its toll on me as i could feel tiredness creep up on me as my eyes begin to flicker shut.

I flick open my eyes as i can hear running towards us " Oh my god Thorin is he my brother okay?" A voice calls from down the hall and i spot my lovers brother with an anxious look on his face.

I pull away from frerin and instantly pull him in into a embrace " I'm so sorry Fili" i sobbed into his shoulder.

"Ssh sit down" he soothes guiding me back into the chair and taking the one beside me " just breathe and then slowly tell me what has happened " he says.

After a couple of minutes i managed to tell him the whole " and now he wont talk to me " i sob putting my hand to my face.

" Don't worry i will make him listen " he promises and enters kili's room.


	69. See sense

I jumped as i hear the door slowly creak open " are you deaf i said go away, i don't want talk to anyone just piss off" I scream with my face in my cut and grazed hand, after a few seconds i felt the bed dip beside me and the mattress creek, anger erupts inside me as whoever it was didn't leave, the a warm arm wrapped around my shoulder and starts rubbing my back " why wont you listen" i ask finally looking up into the piercing blue eyes of my brother.

" Go Away" I growl moving myself out of his embrace, i longed to get up and physically move myself away from him but obviously that wasnt an option for me anymore, so settled for trying to push him away with my hands.

Fili grabbed my wrists stopping my assault on him he didn't get angry or upset and kept calm and said in an even tone " No".

Frustration bubbled away inside of me at his refusal to my request " Please go away" i begged looking into his calm blue eyes. 

" No " he repeats but more firmly this time " You can't push me away, you are being a selfish brat" he states making my anger flare up worse then continued " You are not the only one this affects you know, your fiance is sat outside sobbing his heart out because he blames himself for something that is neither of your faults, and you are sat in here crying feeling like your life is over grow a pair and stop being an pussy, actually face up to something like a man for once" he snaps.

" you are not the one that has just been told he will never walk again" i scream so loud i can see people outside jump then lower my voice to a snarl " I'm going to be useless what the hell am i ment to do with my life Fee" by the end of this sentence my anger had turned into practically begging, begging him to tell me what to do.

He lets out a deep sigh then pulls me close in a tight hug " I don't know brother, im not going to pretend things are going to be easy because that would be lie, this is going to be hard, but you have to learn to live with it. kili you will get through this" he soothes as i put my head on his shoulder.

" I love Thorin so much he is the other part of my soul, what if he wakes up one day and cant deal with it anymore, cant deal with having a husband is forever going to need his help, i don't think i could stand to be alone again" i ask allowing the tears fall from my eyes on too his shoulder.

" oh Kee he loves the bones off your body, you only have to look at the both of you together to tell that, you silly man" he says lovingly and starts plaiting my long hair like he did when we were younger, it surprisingly had a calming effect on me.

" Do you think this is Karma for what i done all those years ago" i asked looking into his face, i can always tell when he is lying and wanted a truthful answer.

He shook his head " you Have done you time for that" he says then his expression changes to a mixture of regret and guilt " I am sorry for how i have treated you, I should've been there for you, i know nothing i can do can make up for that you are my baby brother i should of not abandoned you " He apologises his eyes glistening with tears. 

" Its in the past but do me a favour won't you?" i say to him as he smiles at me.

"anything Kee if its in my power i will do it" he promises looking into my eyes 

"Find the bastard that did this to me, To my Thorin and put him behind bars again" i fiercely said "Because paralyzed or not i will hunt him down and kill him" i told him seriously.

" I will find him, i promise you we will get him" he says meeting his piercing blue eyes with mine trying to win my trust then his mouth turns into a smile " So tell me about this wedding of yours, i hear its in Ireland are you going to invite grampa hes still alive you know" he informed me laughing at my shocked expression.

"Shit he must be what ninety two jesus" i laugh then change my expression to a more serious one " he would disown me not that he hasn't already but if he found out i was marrying a man" i shuddered at the thought of my catholic very religious grandfather excepting i am dating a man let alone marrying one.

Fili nods giving me a sympathetic look " So whats this venue like then?" he asks positively obviously trying to get a happy mood.

after a couple of minutes he manages to find a website for Huntington castle " This place is beautiful, I just got married in a registry office she was pregnant with Hayden at the time" he explains sadly " I always promised her a proper wedding one day" 

I looked at my brothers sad face, and suddenly wished I had been there to watch him marry and to hold my nephew when he had been born " So tell me about your family what they are like?" i asked with curiosity.

"My wifes name is Arwen and I think i told you your nephew is named Hayden after dad" he says smiling taking a picture out of his wallet and showing me a picture of a woman with long dark wavy hair and a Blonde haired boy of about eight years old sat on a tree stump enjoying a picnic.

"Shes beautiful Fee and Hayden looks so much like you when you were little its uncanny " i said beaming down at my brothers family.

He looked at me a little unsure "What about you Kee do you want children?" he asked 

I took a deep breath feeling my emotions rise up inside of me " Yes we both would but its not so easy, Adoption or fostering is out because of my past or only option really would be a surrogate but then theres the whole finding an actual women willing to help then the who is going to be the actual biological father" I explained carefully as he wraps his arm around my shoulder.

Just then i was aware of a light tapping on the door and looked up to see my beloved with his head around the door.

I find myself smiling " i've been a complete asshole sorry baby" i apologize as he walks over and wraps his arms around me.

"I'll get a coffee " Fili says and leaves us alone in the room.

I turn to Thorin and look into his concerned sparkling blue eyes and lean forward and tenderly brush my lips against his " I love you" i state as he sits next to me on the bed.

" love you more" he replies softly his my forehead and then exhaustion from the days events catchs up with us both and we fall asleep hand in hand.


	70. The hospital

I walked down the hospital corridor after a sleepless night I had tossed and turned all night but found myself unable to get any rest. I missed kili's warmth cuddled up against me, I missed the way he would wake up and give me a kiss even if it was only to get a glass of water. Frerin and Ilona had stayed the night claiming it was easier than a hotel but i knew the truth They were keeping an eye on me and I had to admit I Appreciated it greatly, The little sleep i did get Thranduil had haunted me with images of my beloved bleeding .

 

I had been on the the Phone first thing after breakfast to Organise things. The first call was the estate agent to put my house up on the market a wave of sadness had rushed through my body when i had done this. That little house had belonged to me since I turned 25 years old. But i knew there was no way it could ever be adapted for my Kili and he came above anything. The second call was to James Nesbitt to explain the situation, He was lovely about it and when I told him I didn't know how Kili would feel about still getting married In december he had been lovely saying it would be the same price when ever we choose to get wed and he would make sure he kept the date open just in case.

 

My head felt boggled as i walked into the little private room and a lump formed in my throat as i saw kili sat in a wheelchair looking the most depressed I had ever seen. I had researched online how to help a loved one go through this and there advice was act normal even If  the person to whom it is happening to Isn't.

 

" Morning My beautiful buttercup" I said In greeting and walked over giving him a  gentle kiss on the lips.

 

" Im not beautiful look at me" Kili responds with tears running down his cheeks " This is me for the rest of my life.#

 

" And you will always be beautiful to me, with or without a chair My love" I reply cupping his face " now cheer up you miserable git Ilona and Frerin are parking the car then going to see if they can sneak in subway" I chuckle as his face lightens up a little.

 

" Did you sleep well?" he asks as i sit down in the brown high backed armchair.

 

"Nope" i replied honestly " I missed you laying beside me and when I did fall asleep I had nightmares so in the end I gave up and looked online at level access bungalows and flats to rent" I inform him yawning.

 

He looks down at his shoes " I'm sorry Thorin I've caused you so much shit, you shouldn't have to give up your home because of me" he said his voice  full of guilt.

 

I tilt my head at him " Kili how is this your fault? hhmm did you tell him to get obsessed? No. You saved my life and risked your own for mine. You have no need to feel Guilty about any of this" I say sternly cupping his face and forcing him to look at me "And  i choose to give up the house, I have appointments to view a few places tomorrow do you want to see pictures of them" I ask and when he nods, i pull out a load of printed off information about each property. 

 

After a couple of minutes Kili smiles at a bungalow " Oh this ones pretty, the garden is sort of plain which means we can make it our own, oh can we get a dog, I have always wanted a dog" he says excitedly smiling at the photo.

 

" Maybe If the landlord will let us" I beam at his sudden enthusiasm as he smiles at the cottage looking bungalow then he frowns when he notices the location " Babe thats in somerset" he points out then  smiles even wider " Are we moving to somerset?" he asked happily.

 

" Yeah i was thinking only if you want to, with everything that has happened it would be nice for both of us to be near family" I say giving him an unsure smile " to support us both" 

 

Kili does not reply for a couple of seconds and i can see him thinking it over " Yes Perhaps you are right maybe that is the best option for us" he replies smiling. 

 

" How you feeling mate" Frerin's voice calls from the doorway and he walks over and gives his shoulder a little reassuring squeeze.

 

" Were moving to somerset" He says happily looking at the top sheet of information which was the cottage bungalow.

 

'Oh" Frerin replies raising an eyebrow at me. I shift uncomfortably as I had yet to tell my brother of my plans I had wanted to check with Kili first " I think that is an awesome idea and We will get to see more of the both of you" he smiles.

 

A couple of Minutes Ilona enters with a bag of delicious smelling food cursing this bloody city " Subway was packed so found a little Deli instead" she says and begins handing out the food. 

 

" This is better than Subway" I admit taking a bite out of a Chicken tikka torpedo roll.

 

I observed as Kili began tucking into the roll as if it had been starved " Hungry sweetheart" I jest as he looks wistful in the paper roll bag.

 

Ilona laughs " you have got the appetite of a horse" she says pulling out a large iced Chelsea bun much to my beloveds delight.

 

" you really are a lovely lady" he says as she hands him the cake " I can see why you married her" he jests to my brother earning himself a playful poke from his wife.

 

I couldn't help but smile as my fiancé jokes with my family and find myself happy to see that despite everything he had been through he can still laugh and walked over to the bed and began running my hands through his long mane and he looks at me with a sparkle to his eyes  " I love you an awful lot" I say kissing his nose.

 

"And I you" he said softly leaning his head against me.

 

" Get a room you two" Frerin said rolling his eyes reminding us we still had company.

 

"Sod off then" I joke and laugh as I can see the discomfort of him at the discomfort at the thought of me having sex.

 

" Babe do you think you could push me outside for a smoke?" Kili asked Flushing red a pang of sympathy rushes through my body as I could see his miserable face  " I hate this" he adds quietly staring at the small wheeled chair " I mean it isn't even a chair I use myself".

 

I looked at his brown eyes and can see he is close to tears and leaned forward placing a tender kiss to his brow " We will get you a new chair handsome one you can use by yourself promise" I say grabbing the back of his chair and steering him down the corridor with my brother and sister in law in to.

 

" Excuse me where are you going Mr Oakley?" A dark haired nurse asks rushing over to us.

 

I could tell by the irritated look on his face he was starting to get fed up with people telling him what to do " My fiancé is taking  me outside of this place so I can have a smoke" he snapped at the flustered nurse.

 

"You can't do that the doctor will be around soon" she says letting out a frustrated sigh.

 

I could see anger flash across my loves face " I am thirty one years old and if I say I want a smoke you nor anyone else is going to stop me" he growled then looked up at my face " come on babe i'm gagging" he says and I begin steering him down the hall a little proud of my loves outburst. 

 

" you tell them Kee" Ilona said beaming " jumped up bitch" she adds under her breath as we make our way down the long white corridor.I can't help smiling as my Lover had a smug look about him as we moved further the hallway towards the lift, I noticed his colour drain from his lip and he nervously eyes the Toilet door.

 

" we we will catch you up" I said when I released the meaning before all the worried looks, Frerin looked at me questionably but Ilona was quicker on the uptake, Having worked In the medical profession for many years, and Guides her confused  husband down the stairs near the lift.

 

As soon as there footsteps faid I Lean myself towards my beloved, I can see the embarrassment and shame on face,  my heart breaks " Sweetheart Its nothing to worry about" I whispered trying to soothe his upset.

 

" You..you should j...just leave me, I..I can't even go..go to the toilet without needing someone to..to watch me" He utters burying his face in his hands.

 

" Now stop" I order firmly " I am with you because I love you, Of course Its going to be difficult to start with Sweetheart you will adapt I promise you" I reassure him taking his hands away and forcing him to look at me " Now come on lets get you sorted, so we can have a smoke and i might by you a bar of chocolate" I smile wheeling him into the large bathroom.

 

After a couple minutes of shuffling and debate of the best way to maneuver the chair in the tiny space, and Kili's  instance that I don't peak, even though I have seen and touched him plenty of times before ,we managed to get in out without too much trouble and head towards the lifts.

 

Kili looks up at me slightly worried again " Babe just talk to me the whole way down so I can't focus on the small space" he said taking a gulp.

 

" Whatever Makes you comfortable" I say wheeling him into the semi crowded lift and grabbing his hand as I push the button with the other. he squeezes my hand tight and screws his eyes shut. A sadness washes over me when I release, He will always have to lifts, and will face this terror on a daily basis " You're doing well Darling just breath" I say encouragingly Giving a teenage girl a death glare as she begins to snigger which shuts her up instantly. 

 

As soon as Lift pings open on our floor, I hastily Push kili out into the busy lobby, noting a huge sigh of relief from my beloved " well that Is the first lift I have been in since I was fifteen  years old" He admits as he begins to relax " Still scares the shit out of me" he adds giving  a nervous laugh.

 

I wheel him through the huge hall towards the electric doors, smiling as I spot our companions sat on a wall with costa coffee too " you are amazing both of you" Kili smiles accepting a cup and piling in sachets of sugar, he then turns to me giving me a grin " Can I..I have a straight please."

 

I roll my eyes and pull out my Cigarettes taking two out of the pack handing him one and placing the other into my mouth " Suppose you want a lighter too" I chuckle as he nods and hold out The lighter sparking it lighting both our smokes.

 

" I have wanted one of these for hours" Kili says taking a massive drag and blowing a smoke ring. 

 

" Thats a dirty habit" a voice from behind us says cheerfully looking around to see his loves brother walking up the steps he beams at his brother " How you feeling Kee?."

 

Kili shrugs taking a drag off his smoke " Okay I..I guess, Kind of fed u..up but okay" he says trying to think positive. 

 

Fili puts his hand on his brothers shoulders then looks at me also " I was thinking about bringing my family to meet  the both of you at the weekend , maybe go out for a meal, are there any good  local restaurants around here?" he asked.

 

I looked at Kili and can see the excitement in his face at the thought of meeting His brothers family and I can't help but grin " I'll  find somewhere" I reply beaming and stubbed out my cigarette on the wall and turn to my beloved " Lets get you inside before they send out a search party" I smile steering the chair back into the hospital.

         


	71. Chapter 71

I sat in the chair, trying to listen to the occupational Therapist for nearly an hour about everything from different types of wheelchairs down to toileting aids  I'm Thirty one years old, I should not be talking about this shit until i'm at least sixty  I thought bitterly and switched off as the conversation got too uncomfortable and so god damn depressing.

I looked at my Brother who was listening intently  at least I can ask him to repeat the information  I thought and began looking out of the window. Thorin was in somerset looking at the bungalows  I hope to  god that one with the garden is suitable I hoped  imagining a dog running around the garden and a vegetable patch.

“ Kili “ my brothers voice interrupted my happy thoughts. I looked up to find the therapist and my brother both staring at me  Fuck I have no idea what she just said  I panicked  and began looking around the room for some sign or clue of what might have been said.

“ Um s….sorry can you repeat the question?” I asked quietly feeling look  a misbehaving school child, that had been caught doing something bad in class, and I shifted uncomfortably as they both glared at me.

 

“ I said Would you like to try A TiLite chair and what colour would you like?” the therpist repeats in the tone that you would a child who needed something explained to them “ The colours were Metalic blue, purple, black,pink, green or red”.

I looked down at the leaflet that had been placed in front of me and felt a bubble of anger fuel through my body “ I..I dont Bloody care” I growled moving the large clumpy wheelchair to the window and looking at the ground below, trying to control my rage  Its been three fucking days for fuck sake, leave me be!.

“ Kili be polite, Annibell is only trying to help you” Fili scolds me, but half heartedly. I could see the sympathy in his eyes and it almost killed me   I don't want your fucking sympathy I want to be back to the same old Kili.

“ I..I am sorry But I..I really don’t care, I can...cannot deal with this right now order what ever colour you like” I replied a little more calmer returning my gaze to the window and looking at the cars going around a roundabout below.

“ Blue he likes the colour Blue” Fili replies quietly “ Maybe we should leave the rest of this for another day when my brother is feeling more up to it” he says softly and I heard the door close behind me, I could sense my brothers presence still and turn around to find him watching me.

“ She..she  was talking to me like I….I  am five, I won’t have It Fee just....just because my leg is useless does...doesn’t mean my mind is” I reply quietly.

*****

“ Thorin” I said happily as my beloved walked into my room’s a few hour’s late I was feeling a lot happier and my mood had improved greatly, I took in what he was carrying and felt a huge smile spread across my face “ You brought the guitar.”

I can see a huge grin spread across his face as he  bends down and  runs his hair though my long locks and places a kiss on my brow “ I have buttercup” he grins, with a twinkle in his eyes “ And I have even better news,I have found us a beautiful Bungalow the one with the garden.”

I can feel myself bouncing in the seat with excitement “ Really? Truely? thats wonderful Babe” I wrap my hands around him and pull him close for a kiss “ You are the best handsome, I love you so much” I utter taking his hand in mine.

We gaze into each others eyes, I can see the love and care in his eyes, and can almost see deep into his soul, I can feel so much love and radiance bouncing of his body. our souls entwined together.  I’ m so glad Thranduil did this to me and not him, I would die if anything happened to him. 

We were both brought back to earth with a bump as Thorin’s phone plays the bitch came back and he reaches for it from his pocket “ Its Fee” he says frowning at the phone.

As he answers I can feel a wave of nausea and panic run through my frame   Thranduil has killed someone, or Kidnapped some one  is all the runs through my head. I  listen to Thorin’s end of the conversation and can feel my heart throbbing in my chest   Please say they have got him.

I can tell it’s not good news the second Thorin turns back to face me “  Darling  that was Fili, He had some news”  he says gently grasping my hand “ There was someone Who matches Thranduil’s description boarded a ferrie from dover” he rubbed my hand in a soothing way.

I could feel a shudder run through my body of fear,  Jesus he’s still out there, who else will he hurt?? oh my god, what if he kill’s someone??  “ Fuck, Th...They ne...need to catch him..him Thorin they need too” I utter clutching his hand, then I look into his worried face   what if he comes back?? oh shit what if he comes back to Thorin , for Thorin to finish what he started  “ Da...darling you Must not be al..alone, promise me pl...please I would die i..if anything happened t..to you” I stuttered wrapping my arms around him.

“shh, Calm down Kee it’s okay, my brother and Ilona are staying with me and I will make sure I am never on my own, I promise sweetheart I will be careful please don’t Panic yourself” he says reassuringly and sat on the bed. I moved myself close and rest my head in his lap, he brushed my hair from my face and leans down and kissed my forehead “ You must be careful yourself Darling, I will have a word with the nurses to make sure they are on the alert”.#

“ I….I don’t give a..a Damn about me only you “ I told him panicked “ If...if  he harms you I..I will never forgive myself”.

“Kili Listen to me” he said sternly cupping my face “ The police will catch him, I promise you that, and we will be married, nothing is going to happen to me I swear it” he looked me in the eyes which calms me instantly “ were both safe, He is probably in france or germany by now  my love, please do not worry you get frown lines on your beautiful face” he joked trying to be put  me at ease.

I couldn’t help but chuckle “Yo..you are  An idiot, Handsome and lovely b...but an idiot” I smiled 

Just then there is a male nurse with spiky black hair  walks in “ Hello Mr Oakley,I have just come to take your dinner order” I cant help but pull  face at these words which caused Thorin to laugh.

“ Ca...Can I not just order a pizza”  I moaned as I looking  down the list of food on the menu “ Or better yet go home”.I added under my breath.” I am not hungry” #

Thorin wrapped his arms around my shoulders at my words “  It’s not for much longer, we have our bungalow now, as soon as the references are back we can move is sweetheart I promise, But for now you must eat something” He encouraged.

I scowled at the paper  It all tastes of cardboard “ guess I will have the Beef curry” I sigh and then turn to Thorin “ I...I except you to pamper m...me like the prince I..I am” I jest as he wraps his hands around my shoulders.

“ I always do my little Prince of rock and roll, now I am going to get a coffee and salad from the canteen, I will be back in an hour and think Ilona and Frerin are bringing you some cd’s and films to keep you entertained” he informs me “ see you in a bit.”

As he walked away I could not help but look but look at his backside  Damn he has got the finest ass In Britain  I think with a huge grin across my face. I wheeled myself over to the black acoustic guitar and pick it up positioning it on my lap and begin strumming on the strings and begin to sing. 

“Oh, misty eye of the mountain below

Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls

And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke

Keep watching over Durin's son

If this is to end in fire

Then we should all burn together

Watch the flames climb high into the night

Calling out father, stand by and we will

Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountain side

And if we should die tonight

Then we should all die together

Raise a glass of wine for the last time

Calling out father, prepare as we will

Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountain side

Desolation comes upon the sky”

I stop as I hear movement behind me to see the nurse from earlier stood in the door way with a huge grin on his face “ Thats brilliant, your are extremely talented” He says entering the room and sitting in the little arm chair “ Are you in a band?”.

I shook my head “ N….no just me I….It relaxes me “ I say quietly and go to put the guitar on the bed.

“ Can you finish the song its amazing did you write that?” he asked crossing his legs and stared at me giving his full concentration.

I nod “ Yes I...It’s just a little somthing I..I have been working on its not q...Quite finished yet let me know what y...You think”  I start stringing the strings again and continue.

“ Now I see fire, inside the mountain

I see fire, burning the trees

And I see fire, hollowing souls

I see fire, blood in the breeze

And I hope that you'll remember me

Oh, should my people fall

Then surely I'll do the same

Confined in mountain halls

We got too close to the flame

Calling out father hold fast and we will

Watch the flames burn auburn on the mountain side

Desolation comes upon the sky

Now I see fire, inside the mountain

I see fire, burning the trees

I see fire, hollowing souls

I see fire, blood in the breeze

And I hope that you'll remember me

And if the night is burning

I will cover my eyes

For if the dark returns then

My brothers will die

And as the sky's falling down

It crashed into this lonely town

And with that shadow upon the ground

I hear my people screaming out

Now I see fire, inside the mountain

I see fire, burning the trees

I see fire, hollowing souls

I see fire, blood in the breeze

I see fire, oh you know I saw a city burning (fire)

I see fire, feel the heat upon my skin (fire)

And I see fire (fire)

And I see fire burn auburn on the mountain side.”

**  
  
**

As I finish me begins to clap “ Bloody amazing, You should be an singer”.then grins “ would you like to sing on the childrens ward tomorrrow? i'm sure the teens would love it.”.

I think about this for a second   Just do it!  I smile and nod “ s..sure”.

**  
  
  
**


	72. Chapter 72

 

I hum as I made my way to my beloveds hospital bed, I had baked a chocolate fudge cake in an attempt to cheer my Kee up a little. My brother and his wife had popped into town to pick up a few bits for our wedding at the thought of our wedding my heart filled with dread _how do I tell him?_ I wonder for the tenth time since leaving the car. I had received a telephone call from james explaining that there would be no way the bedrooms would be capable for Kili’s needs now we knew the full extent of the damage to his leg.

 

As I rounded the corner my heart gave a jolt as I found my lovers bed empty, I look around the corridor Half expecting to see him coming out of a side room with his happy smile that he reserves only for me when nothing happens panic rushes through my veins and I rush to the nurses station near by “ Excuse Me have you seen Mr Oakley?” I ask trying to keep my voice even.

 

“ Aye He has gone up to the childrens ward to sing for the teenagers” A short haired red headed lady smiles “ He is very talented and offered to cheer Up the children”.

 

I could not help but smile proudly at my kind beloved “ He is extremely talented” I nodded in agreement “could you tell me what level the childrens ward is please” I asked.

 

“ Level 10” the redhead replies then moves to talk to a elderly doctor in hushed whispers.

 

I walked into the empty room and placed the plastic cake box on the table then back to the lifts with a grin on my face _I am so happy Kili seems to be accepting this new life better_ my stomach jults at the thought of telling my Kili about the wedding, I try tried to think of anything but the pure disappointment that would be in his eyes _He loves that castle!_

The lift pings and I look into the cramped lift with everyone cramped like sardines and let out a sigh taking the stairs in steady, I can hear my lover’s beautiful edgy voice before I rounded the corner, and the strum’s of his acoustic, A smile spreads across my face and i slide into the back of the crowded room.

 

 

“I wanna be the one who

Gives them my world

And gives them all the feeling of it

Just a little taste of it

This could be the end

This could be the end

This could be the end

This could be the end

'Cause I ain't got a home

I-I'll forever roam

No, I ain't got a home

I'll forever roam

'Cause I ain't got a home

I'll forever roam

No, I ain't got a home

I'll forever roam

I ain't got a home”

 

Kili sings finishing to a round of applause from the mixed age youths, who were all smiling brightly at my beloved lover.

 

“ That was awesome do another one” A girl shouts with a pink streak to her fringe, the other teens begin to joining.

 

Kili’s eyes locked with mine and he grins “ O...Okay one more then I….I have got to….to see my handsome F...Fiance” He stutters.

 

I felt all the eyes of the youths land on me blinking away and can feel my face redden, at all the unwanted attention _Damn it why did I not just stay in his room!_ I think but cant help but smile shyly.

 

“ Oh he’s fit” I hear a voice say followed by a few giggles _Oh you are for it!_ I think but feel my smile widen as he strums his guitar.

 

“Last…...last one” he says to a groan of the youths but swiftly followed by a silence as the teens focus on Kili again.

 

“ I wish you could be

All you ever dreamed

Move on, no regrets

Try to be the absolute best

Stand on your own

You can make it, be someone

With the war in your head

That's what the wise lady said!

There'll be times, when you can't face

The weary lights of the day

But be strong and believe

You can be anything you wish to be

Don't let your fears hold you back

Life isn't meant to be easy

Find justice for what you lack

Time will heal the scar

Be proud of who you are

Taste the fantasies that you dread

That's what the wise Lady said!

I came from nothing, here I am!

I won the war in my head!”

 

My beloved finishes to a loud round of applause “ Th...Thank you” he stutters shyly.I walked over to him and place soft kiss onto his cheek, he grasps my hand in his “ Can we got outside for a walk? he asks gazing into my eyes.

 

“ How can I resist Those big brown eye’s” I jested brushing my lips against his causing the youths to let out a oooooooooo, and Kili to go a bright shade of crimson “ I love it when you blush” I joke and grasp hold of the rubber handles on the wheelchair.

 

“ Do you really have to go” a small blonde haired boy asks with a disappointed look on his face.

 

Kili lets out a nervous chuckle “ I...I will come back” he promises smiling at the young youth and grasping hold of his guitar. He gives the group a little wave as I push him out into the hall and turns to a middle aged grey haired nurse “w..would you m..mind taking th..this to wa..ward 8b? kili asks.

 

“ No problem, and I must say you are extremely talented” she replies beaming.

 

Kili cheeks flare even bright “ Th..thank you” he says shyly then looks to me “ L..lets go handsome” he says with a grin.

 

I pushed him down the shiny corridor to the lift, as we wait for the lift to arrive I note all colour drain from his face and his palms begin to sweat, a rush of sympathy washes over me _My poor Kili!_ He jumps as the lift doors open and to both our reliefs it is deserted and I slowly push him into the metal lift “ Just breath gorgeous, you're safe” I soothe as he screws his eyes tight.

 

As the lift begins to move I can see his body shudder as fear clutches his heart as fear washes over, I bend down and wrap my arms around him pulling him into my loving embrace, and place a kiss onto his brow.

 

Kili buries his face into my shirt , while I whisper loving things in his ear at an attempt to calm his nerves _I wonder if CBT might help?_ I think and vow to research it as soon as I get home my thoughts get intrupted as lift stops. As soon as the doors opens, Kili lets out a huge sigh of relief as I hastily push him out into the fresh air.

 

“ Th..thank god thats over” He sighs and wipes his sweat from his face with the back of his hand “ Have you got any smokes?” he asks and kisses my hand as I reach into my pocket and hand his a pack of straights “ Y..you are a god send” he smiles fondly as he pulls one out of the pack and I hand his a Lighter then hands me one.

 

“ Where would you like to go to sweetheart?” I ask and place the cigarette between my lips and spark up and push him over to the bench and sitting down onto it.

 

“ Th..Thorin I would li...like to try to tr..transfer into the bench ca..can you help me?” he asks shifting nervously and looks up at me with his eyes widened.

 

“ Of course darling what would you like me to do?” I ask putting out my cigarette and standing up in front of him and await his instruction. Kili looks at me nervously and bites his lip, I can see the unsurety in his eyes and give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

 

“ C..can you wr..wrap your ar..arms around my ch...chest ” he asks and brings his finger up to his lip and begins nibbling the corner of the nail and stubs out his own smoke.

 

I nod and snake my arms around his upper torso and Kili places his hands on my shoulders “ T..the nurses tend to ju..just let me hold onto them while i swing my..myself around placing my we..weight on my g..good leg” He stammers.

 

“Okay sweetness lets do this” I reply encouragingly, he presses onto my shoulders and twists his body, Much to my relief the transfer goes smoothly and Kili smiles brightly and pats the seat next to him and I happily oblige, and he takes his hand into mine, and I gently rub my thumb against his palm.

 

My gorgeous brunette takes his stumped out smoke out of his pocket and re lights it handing the lighter to me and I light mine also, we sit in silence for a couple of seconds just enjoying the warm weather and each others company. Kili leans his head against me and I run my hands through his long locks “ This is nice” I whisper kissing his neck.

 

Kili looks up at my face, I can see the love in his eyes and he begins pulls a few strands of hair out of my ponytail and begins to plait my hair “ you so cute” I say gently and kiss the tip of his nose.

 

I take a deep breath and prepare myself for his sad face “ Buttercup, there's no easy way to tell you this so I am going to just say it” his brown eyes bore deep into mine and I take another deep breath “ It's about our wedding. We are not going to be able to marry at Huntington Castle due to the access." I looking to his face which has gone expressionless “ I am sorry handsome”.

 

Much to my astonishment Kili’s face just breaks into a smile “ Marry me now” he says pressing a kiss “ I dont want to wait, I want to become Kili oakenshield now”.

 

“ We can’t just marry that quick love, There are thing’s to think about, The ceremony, the cattering”. I say softly.

 

“ Well as soon as possible” he says determined “ I don’t care about anything like that, all I care about is us, lets just do it” Kili says bouncing with excitement “ Please Thorin”.

 

“ you… you are serious?” I ask astonished he nods and I feel my face break Into the biggest smile. Excitement and Happiness flood through my body “ Okay, I will ring around venues tomorrow, We shall marry my sweet as soon as possible” We both lean foward and I push my lips against his pulling him close Into a passionate Kiss.

 


	73. Author note

 

 

Just a quick note to my readers. Thank you for reading My Fiction. I know it has been a while Since I have last updated, I find myself with writers block for this story. I know where I want to go with it Just have no idea how to get there. I can reassure you I have not abandoned  this story and will come back to it I am just not sure when.

 

Thank you so much for reading and sorry for taking so long to let you all know. x


	74. Changes and new begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Am SOOOOOOO sorry this took me so long to update. I hope you enjoy it!!!!!

I am back in the house Thranduil Has a Knife to my beloveds Throat and sneers at me, he runs The sharp blade along Thorin’s Throat drawing blood. Thorin gasps as pools of blood run down his throat soaking into his shirt " Thranduil Please" I plead as tears prick the corner of my eyes, I blink and it runs down my face " I will do anything you want, Just don’t hurt him."

Thranduil lets out a roaring laugh, and kisses Thorin’s cheek " You come with me little Raven" He says with grin " Or your precious Thorin dies."

I can see a mad glint deep in his eyes, he had hidden the madness well over the years, But finally it was out in the open, he ran his tongue across his lips and seemed to have developed a nervous tick " I will do whatever you just please do not hurt him" we lock eyes, my instinct is to recoil as I can see a desire in them also, and fear clutches my heart, fear for Thorin, fear for myself.

Thranduil grabs my arm squeezing bruises into my arm, nausea rises through me just at his touch and I can feel my body shudder with fear and a cold dread run’s through me. I look into Thorin’s face and can see fear and pain in his eye’s.

I hear a piercing scream and suddenly feel a sharp pain in my chest, I sit up bolt upright and the scream continues I realise it is coming from me, my brow is covered in sweat and my body is shaking _It was a dream, a nightmare!_ I realise feeling relief wash over me.

A nurse rushes into the room and over to my bed " Are you okay Kili?" she asks concerned and she sits in a little chair by my bed "Have you got any pain?."

I shake my head and flop it back down onto the firm white pillows, my breathing is heavy and I try to get it back in control taking deep gulps of air into my lungs " It...it was a dream th..thank god It w..was a dream." I stutter as my heart continues to race beating like a kettle drum against my chest.

I look into The Concerned eye’s of a young nurse " What was a dream? do you need assistance?" she asks biting her lip nervously, at me clearly worried by my distress.

I look around the room wide-eyed scared that Thranduil will suddenly come crawling out from the shadows or bursting through the doors "I am fine now thank you." I utter trying to keep my voice calm and control my heart beat which is beating ten to the dozen "could I have so water please?"

The blond haired nurse still doesn't look convinced and moves over to the little trolley that was placed beside the hospital bed and pours me a glass of cold water, and hands it to me "If you need anything else Kili please ring the bell." she says kindly before exiting the room.

I down the water in on one mouthful and place it on the table, Then spot my mobile.I pick it up and check the time on the digital clock in the centre of the display it reads 2.45am. I click messages then open up Thorin’s number and find myself typing _*Baby, I hope you are okay, I just had the most horrid dream.I love you xxx*._ I bite my lip hesitating on if to send it _I dont want to worry him._ I quickly click send.

After a few minutes I am shocked to find my phone vibrate and Thorin’s name appear on the screen. I look around the little room then answer my mobile in a whisper "Th..Thorin are you Ok...Okay?."

"Baby, I am fine what was your dream about?" Thorin asks his voice full of sleep but soothing just the same.

I hesitate for a second, Unsure if to tell him not wanting to freak him out "I….It was about Thranduil, I….I dreamt he had come back for me." My body continues to shake "I want to be home with you, I… I hate it." I admit in a quiet voice.

"You will be home with me soon my love," Thorin soothes.I can hear his bed squeak and guess he has sat up right " The house is safely locked, Frerin and Ilona are still staying here with me, We are all okay."

I find myself begin to relax at his reassurances. My heart beat starts to slow and return to a steady sure ritum "I...It felt so real, My heart was breaking a….At the thought of anything happening to you." I reach for the little bedside table and pour myself a small glass and take a deep mouthful.

"Nothing is going to happen to me buttercup, Soon we will be far away from london in our own little countryside home far away from Thranduil, Far away from the memories." I can almost see the a smile on Thorin’s face as he says this "And then I shall make you my husband, Make you mine forever."

A smile spreads across my face at this as a perfect image of what my life has waiting for me. "I…. I cannot wait to become Mr Durin, I...I cannot wait to see our bungalow, I….I cannot wait for our Life to start."

"Soon Darling, I should hear from the letting agent tomorrow with a move in date, He knows we need it as soon as possible and I have paid six month’s rent upfront." Thorin says quietly "Now Baby rest your head in that pillow and I shall keep talking to you until you fall asleep." He says softly.

My body Has completely relaxed. Thorin’s voice seems to soothe all my worries and troubles as always. My eyes flicker as my head sinks into the soft pillow "L….love you." I mumble as I feel sleep come upon me once more.

"Love you too my sweet Kili." Thorin says softly and whispers sweet nothings into my ear.

++++++++

I sit outside the hospital with a cigarette hanging from my mouth. _I did it, I actually did it!_ I think happily. It has been the first time in my whole life I have ever managed to be in a lift on my own. _Sure you closed your eye’s the whole time and clamped onto the grab rail, but you did it._

The weather is heaven and sun beats down on My back, For the first time in days I feel relaxed and at peace with the world. I bring the cigarette up to my mouth again and take another long drag watching the world go by. The birds chirp happily, My eye’s follow a near by sparrow as it lands on a near by tree in a garden opposite the hospital.

I can hear footsteps coming towards and turn around to see my brother with a smile on his face. He wraps his arms around me in greeting "Hey Kee." Fili says warmly sitting on a bench beside my chair.

"Morning, How are you?" I ask turning my attentions away from the bird and moving the bulky chair to face my brother a little better. I take in his happy expression as he beams at me and find his smile Infectious.

"I am great, you finally get to meet my little family." He reminds me although he needs not as nerves flutter through me.

_Oh god, What if his wife hates me? or my nephew?_ My brow etches in worry and I gulp trying to hide my panic. "yes." my voice squeaks. I begin to look at the floor and take a large drag off the smoke.

" Brother they will love you, Hayden is so excited to meet his uncle," Fili beams leaning back against the wooden bench "And says you have eight years of birthdays and christmases to make up for."

I let out a snort at this "Sounds like something I would have said as a child." I stub my smoke out and put it in the little bin. "I would like to get him a little present, Is there anything he likes in particular?"

I can see Fili think about this for a few seconds "He is a lot more like you than you would think and has your talent." when my brow knits in confusion he laughs " He picked up his first guitar and three. In fact you old acoustic I think a strap for it might be cool." He suggests.

My heart jumps with joy at this piece of information, That my old guitar had been passed down to the next generation "That makes me happy to know despite not being in Hayden’s life I somehow was in a little way." I feel sadness at this "So many wasted years, Lost chances."

Fili wraps his arm around me "This is a second chance for us all." He runs his hand through my hair and I have a memories of childhood flood over me. Of how he always fiddled with my hair when I was upset "Believe me when I say I thought of calling you so many times Kee, Worried about where my little brother was but I was foolish I should have called you, If I could turn back time…."

"Fili dont think about that," I say sternly leaning my head onto his shoulder "If we think about the what if’s or the why’s we will just be going over old wounds." I close my eye’s briefly suddenly feeling like a teen again "We have the future, we are both young still, now we must honour Mum and Dad and always be there for each other Like it was always meant to be."

"So are so wise Kili." Fili comments with a look of pride on his face "Wise beyond your years, you are right, I will never leave you again." He promises looking at his watch "Now i am going to buy you a new outfit for tonight." He laughs as he notes my face " lets get a coffee and then go into town shopping."

I feel a little nervous about this, _No what if people stare?_ I panic about this briefly then take a deep breath "Okay but I would like to go to Dwalin’s place." I decide wanting to get the first meeting with my friends after the accident over and done with.

Fili nods then takes out his mobile dialing the number for a taxi firm. After Half an hour we arrive outside the bar. My palms feel sweaty and nerves flood through me. _These people are my friends, they will not care If I have a chair or not._ I wheel myself up the ramp.Fili opens the door and I mumble a thanks as I move myself past him.

The bar only has a few people in it sipping drinks. I slowly make my way up to the bar. Lego gives me a huge smile and hastily pushes up the counter rushing over to me and wrapping his arms around my shoulders "So good to see you mate." My blond haired friend says pulling away and examining my face "well at least he didn’t take you looks."

I cant help but laugh at Lego’s laid back response feeling my body relax instantly "y...yes just one of my legs." I smile finding myself relax fully "So how have you been?" Fili clears his throat and I look at him "Oh my apologies Lego this is my brother Fili, Fee Lego."

I watch as they shake hands then Fili turns back to face me "This place is nice," he smiles taking a seat on one of the barrels by the bar "Can see why you liked working here kee."

At this I can feel my heart drop a little _I did like working here, I had friends here._ I move over to the bar myself leaning my hands on a lowered bar that I had never really noticed before _Well why would you?_ Lego walks back around the bar.

_"_ So what can I get you?" He asks smiling to me and my brother and taking two glasses off the shelf behind him.

"I shall have a Guinness please"Fili beams then looks at me "What would you like brother? I’ll get these." he offers as i put my hand into my jeans pocket to reach for my wallet.

"Um a cider please." I say quietly then remember my medication is not meant to be mixed with alcohol "On second thoughts a pepsi please." I sigh then look at Fili who has just taken a huge swig of his Beer "Lucky git." I mutter then let out a hiss as shooting pains rise up my leg.

Lego and Fili both look at me eye’s full of concern "It’s okay," I reassure them taking my painkillers out of my pocket "Just need to take these then I will be fine." I soothe placing the pill’s into my mouth and taking a large mouthful of fizzy.

After a couple of minutes Dwalin walks out from the back. He looks around the bar then spots me. A wide grin spreads across his bearded face and he makes his way towards where we are talking "Good to see you Kili," He says clasping my shoulder.

"It is good to be out." I admit taking another mouthful of pepsi "It is good to be back in this place." I am suddenly overwhelmed with sadness as I scan the room. _I will never work here again!_

My upset must show on my face as all three men look at me with looks of concern on there face. "Are you sure you are alright Kee?" the Scottish man asks me with a serious look on his face.

I swallow hard trying to put the thoughts I just had to the back of my head." I...I said I was fine didn't I? Isnap then instantly feel guilty when I know all they are is worried about me. "Don't worry about me I am fine," I soothe giving the Scottish man an apologetic smile. " I am sorry I snapped at you Dwalin I listen I am just fed up with people asking me how I am."

The Scot nods his head in understanding. "Aye think I would be as well if I was in your situation it must be really frustrating." He says sympathetically pulling the pump handle to pull himself a beer.

For the next couple of minutes we just make polite conversation until my brother turns around and faces me. " would you like to go into town now and pick out some new clothes for tonight?" Fili asks finishing his pint.

I note taking my grippy gloves of the table and placing them on my hands before I put my hands down to the wheels and push myself a little across the floor. " see you both soon," smile turning back to my friends.

Lego hurries out from behind the bar and wraps his arms around my shoulders looking into my eyes with shining blue ones. " take care of yourself mate we will see you real soon.

 


End file.
